I'm a tank main

I was only 9 years old I loved tanks so much, I had all the balanced top laners and junglers I pray to Riot every night before bed, thanking them for the balanced armor items I’ve been given "Thornmail is love" I say; “Thornmail is life” My dad hears me and calls me a meta abuser I know he was just jealous of my devotion for tanks I called him a loser ADC main He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep I’m crying now, and my face hurts I lay in bed and it’s really cold Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me It’s Thornmail I am so happy He whispers into my ear “I'm built out of a 900 gold item that ruins ADCs until 30 minutes.” He grabs me with his overloaded item hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees I’m ready I spread my ass-cheeks for Thornmail He penetrates my butt-hole It hurts so much but I do it for LP I can feel my butt tearing as my healing is reduced by 50% I push against his force I want to please Thornmail He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his balanced stats and passives. My dad walks in Thornmail looks him straight in the eyes and says “You should have bought armor pen.” Thornmail leaves through my window Thornmail is love. Thornmail is life.
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