From what I gather, this is what Top Lane should be:
* Ranged champions are banned. If you take a ranged champion top lane, you immediately lose half your base stats and your base movement speed is reduced to 150 just so you know just how awesome muh Darius is. Lane bullies that autowin trades are fine as long as they're melee with an exception made for Camille.
* If you want to play a Tank top, you must first get approval from your lane opponent in champion select. If they agree, they automatically get the opportunity to select a different champ if they have already picked theirs.
* Junglers must submit the proper paperwork before ganking. These forms must be submitted and agreed upon by all parties involved at least 10 minutes in advance of the gank. The enemy has the right to refuse the gank attempt at any time.
* If I 1v1 the enemy Top Laner 3 times, the enemy Nexus instantly explodes. Everyone should know how fucking amazing my mechanics are. Nobody can 1v1 me m8.
* Despite Top Lane now being a 1v1 island where only the most elite players can hold their own, It should still have as much impact on the 5v5 as everyone else. If a Top Laner is split pushing when a team fight breaks out, the game is paused and the Top Laners are automatically placed into the enemy backline. Everyone is forbidden to use CC for 2 seconds after the unpause.
* Top Laners are now the only ones who can last hit Baron and Dragon. If Top Laners want to split without TP up, the enemy team can no longer threaten with a cross map objective.
* No other position can rotate to the top lane for the first 30 minutes of a match. After 30minutes, a fee of 500 gold per minute must be payed to the Top Laner for being in his/her lane.
Seriously this is what it feels people want. And yes, I play Top myself