Top lane is probably the least fun to play

I don't know why I continue to torture myself with this role. I can get camped/dove repeatedly by the enemy jungler without any help from my team and when my opposing laner shows up and turns out to be fed, I'm just the feeding boosted 1/5/0 top laner even though I did nothing wrong. I can't even bother explaining my teleport is down because I had to use it to get back to lane or I'd miss 2 1/2 waves worth of EXP, which is far more important than any petty amount of gold I could acquire. It's just a frustrating role man. It's the only role where the enemy jungler can say "I'm removing you from the game" and you actually get removed from the game. You don't get to play, roaming isn't an option because everything is warded. The jungle mobs are off limit because you're the feeder, blah blah. And it's easily the most abdanonable role in the game. Like, why do I continue to play this shit? I like a challenge, I like the feeling of a 1v1 style lane but it's never ever that. And the moment I ask for some help or expect it, I'm the bad guy? I don't know, this role is fucking dumb. We have basically no impact on the game outside of TP plays or meat shielding. It's either play extremely broken shit or play brain dead tanks that offer almost no carry potential unless fed because all you can do is zone control and most people in this game have no idea how to correctly utilize that asset and even if they did, it doesn't matter because the enemy jungler got first blood so now they're 13/2 and can easily jump into our team and kill both our carries even if it is blatant suicide. I'm extremely butt-hurt right now, I hate this role. We rarely get anything nice. I'm gonna start maining support and jungle, they get the good shit every season even when they don't need it and mechanical skill isn't required for the roles.
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