TLDR of Eternals

**Why Do They Exist?** We've been thinking we haven't made new way of creating easy content that we can monetize the shit from recently, and so after selling the same missions periodically as "passes" and even ugly golden chromas, we are now selling achievements for real money. We will, of course, use the excuse of "rarity", as If the achievement itself didn't already ensure that, the same way we used this excuse for something as backbone-less as Prestigue skins. Which fits because now you'll be basically paying for small flare on something you've already grinded for. Stay tuned for another feature we'll come up with in the future, that will be defended because this game is "free to play", although not really since we lock 90% of content we come up with behind paywall after paywall, not to mentoin scummy RNG factors that support gambling in children-accessible game because in Riot Games many things are important but morality isn't one of them. Which happens when you are owned by company from country that checks the contents of private mobile messages of their citizens. Our gains are low because 80% of those gains go to our PR department to make these speeches witch disguise our greed as attempt to make something "rare" and "exciting" and "new" and frankly, If so many people weren't addicted to this game and we didn't aim for popularity, it would be 20€ per month subscription model long ago. Next month we will reveal return of Rotating Game Modes you have all been anticipating so much. Most of them are already done but we are still fleshing out the 5 different ways we'll monetize them with because this game has no longer any spirit, just business. Also don't forget that we only monetize this because it took so much effort to make, but let's ignore how the general system will allow us to factory-spit-out tons of these with no effort and the cost of the system will go back 1000 times with the first two additional releases that will be the same basic system with different variables, the same as we pretend that each mission pass is something new although we have been milking the same system for nearly a year now. We are happy to have this community, that hasn't yet realized that we found the goldmine, as we found a way to easily factory-make loads of content that provide much more net gains than making offline single-player detailistically manufactured experience and sell it for pathetic 40€. Also our Rioters do perfect job at personalizing our company so people look at all the great people behind the game, rather than looking at us as corporate, which would result in the same hatred people keep towards banks once they realize these institutions function to only milk people out of money under guise of monetary help. You might've noticed this our new factory mass production approach with recent champion releases, which are boring make-10-at-a-time ads for their release skins and those who gain popularity, like our voidgirl, will become permanent ads for events. But it's all right because in the end of the day, this game is free and my 20 children will starve If we held any spark of morality in our financial system. Next week, we will hold live stream with our Art Department that we also like to call The Mortar That Desperately Holds Our Shit Together. Peace.
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