All the toxicity that comes out just slips out of my mouth without control. It sucks that this happened, and I think this happened SOOOO much more often to a LOOOT of people. Toxicity can really slip out of one's mouth and I guarantee that many people feel sorry and regretful after saying things and wish there was an undo button in life. I hope riot also realizes that this just happens a lot and people feel deep regret after flaming. I spent soooo much money on this game also and I just deeply regret everything. I hate how this game can make me super toxic without any intent and I didn't mean any of it... I don't think there is the slightest chance of me being unbanned, even though I wish I could. I had 5500 rp that I cant spent and I would share it to the community if I could. I am deeply sorry Riot, from the bottom of my heart. I wanna let the devs and the player behavior team that toxicity can be kinda uncontrollable to some people and it just slips out of our mouth just like how I did.
The ranked game I just played was that I was doing decent, but getting camped so I kinda got an ugly KDA. However, my jungler just went 2/9/1 and I kinda got a biiiit too angry. I wanna show that I'm reformed haha but I don't know if Riot can do anything. I am so sorry for the player behavior team. I understand what I've done. I dont't wanna make a new account cuz that would just suck and I know I can never be toxic ever again, especially in a game.
One thing i deeply love about this game is that it challenges the player's mentality. My mentality was great, but ever since I got into league, it made me understand all the negative stuff that my mind can think of and comepletely change the way I behave. I wanna show I much I have learned and would like to show that I wont commit any such harsh act ever again... As of now, i'll take a break from league (possibly permanent). but woul love to get back if there is anything I can do to unban myself, which I think is impossible sadly...
This got me thinking, What if Riot made a special feature for the people who got their first accounts banned and the people who have no intent of griefing every game on their second account, a chance to redeem themselves? I don't think this would ever happen, but it could lead to the playerbase a bit more healthier. IDK. Just an Idea. Welp, bye Riot and thanks for all the stuff you done for your players :)
EDIT: This ban hit me like a hot wheels and a tonka truck combined. I never thought any feeling can change me instantly. I understand that I violated the Code of Conduct and the "Summoners Code", but the fact that I felt Instantly reformed by writing this post really got me sad.