Am I meant to suffer?

I really do love this game, but recently every match makes me get very angry at myself, or lose all emotions entirely. I've been having so much fun playing off meta picks at top, but my team keeps berating me saying how I'm suppose to play someone meta, or that I'm suppose to lose lane because I'm not playing the game the way it's meant to be played. Even when I do play someone meta, I'm so bad at the game where I get those complaints anyway. Everyone also keeps picking people that keep countering me, or I just hate dealing with all the time no matter who I am. And when I lose lane, I feel horrible because then I feel like they are all right. I don't even blame them if they decide to report me. My most recent match, I did the best on the team, but they still hated me for playing leona top, and I dread going back to lane because I had to deal with teemo. Am I cursed or something?
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