I need your guys's opinions, and yes i know this isn't the greatest place to ask this kinda stuff. Unforunately i'm banned from most reddits so sorry but yeah that's for everyone who says "why you asking here?"
SO, my ex and i have been broken up a long while, i'm doing the whole "no contact" thing where i completely ignore her and act like she doesn't exist until she messages me and i'm supposed to act like "i've been SO busy" that's fine or whatever. I get the logic behind that.
Essentially if someone breaks up with you and then wants to get back with you they are NOT your priority. Even if you're not busy you're supposed to act busy cause otherwise you seem pathetic. So i know to do that this time around, it's whatever. I play to win.
The question i have is this.... A lot of relationship sites say that a man should try to hook up with his ex girlfriend quickly and bond afterwards (cuddling, laying together, etc) the reason is because men and women biologically react differently to sex. Women react to sex more harshly because they release a lot of bonding hormones. This is more then men release generally speaking( GENERALLY SPEAKING I'M SURE ALL THE WHITE KNIGHTS ON HERE WILL SAY HOW THEY'VE BEEN USED THAT WAY BY WOMEN. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. AT A BASIC GENETIC LEVEL I'M TALKING ABOUT)
The reason for this supposedly is that women like to bond and cuddle afterwards because it shows security in the relationship which is something women value greatly. Back in the day women needed to be protected and feel secure around a man. So they wouldn't get beaten or uhh other bad stuff by other cave men. OBVIOUSLY this is NOT today's society. Clearly. But we still have remnants of that left in us.
The OPPOSITE point people argue is that by hooking up with someone quickly and easily you're signaling that you're low value, that your love is low value and that you are an easy people who likes to hook up.
I'm not sure if i agree with the opposite point simply because every time i've hooked up quickly with someone and made my intentions clear things have went smoother and were generally better then when i try to "take things slow and talk them out".
I feel this is why a lot of guys get friendzoned or relationshiips truly end. Because one person or both stops making their intentions clear and tries to "get around" things instead of just being human and letting "stuff happen".
Another point made for hooking up quickly for men is that when women (and guys) have sex they release bonding hormones (i talked about this earlier ) BUT that also allows someone to naturally have more positive feelings towards you. Making it easier to even TALK to them.
I noticed that whenever i would meet up with my ex after a long period and just sit there with her and give her what she wanted "sitting there and talking" things always got AWKWARD and i felt like she wasn't listening to me and she wasn't receptive towards me (hated me). But after we hooked up she all of a sudden liked me more and wanted to "actually fix things" and was all ears.
IDK, maybe if theres anyone here who's studied biology or pyschology they could comment what i'm talking about, i know it sounds messed up, but still.
TLDR- Aggressive guys generally fare better then guys who try to talk and logic things out with women. Sex allows hormones to be released that bond humans to each other.