Im not getting better
Im not climbing
This game has ruined my relationships
The amount of stress that this game has put on me is unfathomable
My grades are plummeting
Im getting very little sleep at night because of this game and my addiction
My health is becoming a concern
This game is making me fucking depressed, to the point to where I want to do nothing but cry in my room
Have you guys ever been through so much shit, that you kinda just want one thing to go alright in your life? II thought League would help me, and for some time i really believed it. I had dreams of being a pro or a streamer that people admired because they were so good at the game. It gave me hope that something was bright in my future with this game. But this is the last straw for me. It is fucking up my life more than it is helping it. There were times when I did like League. When I first started, about 2 years ago, I remember I played on Shyvana top with Relic Shield on an HP Notebook in my dads basement. I thought I was so good when I could 2v1 bots up there. Those were the days, completely stress free and fun, that I wish I cherished more when I had them. Now it's just a giant bucket of stress, waiting to be dumped on me every time I wake up in the morning.
I felt obligated to play League of Legends every day. I know I wasn't, but I felt like I needed to in order to get better. I have sunk so many hours into this game that I thought something in my skill level would change, but it hasn't. Sure Ive upgraded from Bronze to Silver, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be the best, and I knew I could do it, but I simply cannot handle it, mentally or emotionally.
I loved this game. I made friends, joined teams, I even had fun. But that was back then. Now, I hate it. I hate what the game has become. I hate that it stresses me out so much when I have so much real world stress to deal with. I hate that Im not getting better, regardless of how hard I try. This list goes on and on. A game is supposed to let me escape reality for a few hours, so why does it feel like torture to play it?
It's been real Riot. Thank you for all you've done.
EDIT: It feels weird, ya know? To just completely shove something away that has been a big part if your life for so long. I'm already thinking about what I'd do when I would normally play League. I guess I'll just have to live in the moment from now on. Maybe I'll get into books. Who knows what the future holds?