A few years back, while I was in high school, I got massively tilted, and as I had immense anger issues, I vented by taking it out on others. A few games of this in a row led to me getting a permaban. It felt extremely unfair, and even today I do believe that the circumstance was unfortunate, with unlucky stars aligning (bad kda, toxic history, verbal abuse in chat, etc). However, after like one month of me arguing with the riot support team, it was evident that nothing was gonna happen. As such, I took a step back.
My anger issues were honestly, horrendous, and as I had no management skills, it impacted my study life and my family bonds. There would be constant fights, my grades would slip, so on so forth. As such, I decided to try something: for a few months, I went cold turkey on league. Needless to say, it was extremely difficult. A large amount of my week was spent playing league, and now there was a massive gap. So, I thought a lot. I tried to play other games, such as fire emblem on the ds and such, just stuff to keep me busy.
However, during this time, I learned to be more patient, and life was somewhat a bit more brighter. I laughed a bit more, forced myself to be a bit more social, learned tons of faults about myself, and most importantly: learned to be non-biased in my ways of thinking. After this last skill, I looked back on to my last game a few months ago, where I went something like 7/20 on khazix on a team of squishy ranged carries. I think it was good to take a nice break, it cleared my head up a bit.
As such, after hearing some friends play league again, I redownloaded the game, and made a new account. I wont lie: while the first few games were nice, the toxicity slowly seeped in again, while not as extreme as before. Despite my few months of meditation, I went back to honor level 0. It really did suck personally. So, in hopes to prove to myself I was better, I tried to force myself to be more possitive, or mute those who I couldnt be possitive with. I climbed back to honor 1 3/3, fell down back to honor 0, and climbed, fell, and now here I am: a year or 2 later, in college, and sporting an honor level 2: in climb to honor level 3. I've been trolled in games, teammtes have inted, and ive recently been duo griefed/trolled/inted by 2 fellow duo "teammates"....in plat 3 promos (oof). Fortunately, while we hard lost that game, I managed to win the other 2 promos, and I now sit at plat 3, many teammates like me, and while some argue with me, I believe I don't contribute to adding to the fire of their toxcitiy by throwing unneccessary banter to fuel their flames. I asked support to unban my account a few times, all in which they declined, but I don't blame em: they don't know whether or not I'm faking my "change" or not, if they unbanned me, many other players would be into consideration, and a whole slew of problems that go along with unbanning me. I'm gonna keep sending emails once every few months, but I don't mind if they never unblock this account. Not saying this in spite, but with sincerity: not being shackled feels nice.
As such I really think permabanning was one of the few good things that happened in my life: it helped me realise how deep into shit I was, and it helped me attempt to climb out of the toxic mindset I had to others, and while I'm not perfect yet, I do think I'm on my way to being better.
So yeah....heres hoping I get unblocked on day or year, and cheers to mental rehabilitation!
EDIT: Riot just got back to me, and explained that they couldn't do anything to unban me. However, they did respectfully explain the circumstance, and I don't blame em for why they couldn't unban. Its a bummer, but well, I'm just reaping what I sowed. I hope non of yall make the same mistake I did, and if anyone did, I hope you guys manage to get better as well! Till next time!