League in 2071

#It's Year 2071 *** * RIOT has just released their 354th champion: Slyza, the Sack Rider. Although this champ's gender has been a controversial topic, RIOT has recently confirmed that Slyza identify themselve as an Apache Helicopter. * Starting patch 61.2, RIOT has introduced a new division below Cardboard 5, named Paper. As per the new ToS, anybody who falls below Paper 5 will be permanently banned. * RIOT Games has officially renamed their company to "RIOT Game" and are expected to be named so from now onwards. * Using 3rd party programs in order to cheat/get custom skins is now considered a criminal offense, and will be punished by life imprisonment. * RIOT has listened to player's feedback and decided that the games were lasting too long to have fun. Thus starting now, if a game reaches 10 mins mark, it will result in defeat of both teams and loss of LPs. * Unfortunately Mordekaiser rework have been postponed once again because other champions are in a dire need to have a rework before him. In other news, Ryze will be getting his 37th rework in upcoming patch. * Lux and Ahri will be getting new skins in upcoming D/VA skin-line making it their 178th and 185th skin respectively. Ivern is also expected to get his 3rd skin next season. * After a detailed discussion, RIOT team has came to conclusion that making players unlock champions by Blue Essence is very unhealthy for the game and players, thus from upcoming patch the only way to unlock champions will be from RNG Boxes and RP purchase. * RIOT realized how much players love Prestige skins, therefore they will be releasing atleast 2 Prestige skins every patch from now on. * Your League rank now plays as an important factor when applying in universities like Oxford, Harvard, Cambridge etc. * New players are forced to take a 5months 'League Admission' course on all champions, their skillset and game knowledge before they can start playing the game. * At the end of course, they need to clear an exam based on champions' stats and game mechs/strats where they need to score atleast 75% in order gain certification before they are allowed to play the game. * World leaders are also decided by their rank in League of Legends. * And lastly but not the least, as per the new International Law act 12.7b, after reaching the age of majority, everybody is mandated to take the 'League admission' 5months course and start playing league of legends atleast 4hours a day, upon clearing the exam. * The people who fails the exam must retake the course until they manage to get the certification. *** As per the law I must conclude my post by saying this: RIOT is Law, RIOT is Justice.
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