Illaoi's Q now roots enemies for 1/1.25/1.4/1.5/1.75 seconds. If a vessel is pulled out and the main champion is smacked, they are slowed for 50% for .5 seconds for each smack.
Yi's auto attacks slow you for 15%/15%/20%/20%/25% while his E is turned on.
These changes will hit the live servers when 9.24 rolls out.
. . .
I'm kidding. These changes don't exist. But this is what I want to talk about.
If I were to announce such changes like this to a season 1 veteran, they would laugh and say "Yeah right bro. Next you're gonna tell me that annie's shield makes her invisible". However, in this day and age, if I were to tell you fake patch notes like this, you simply groan and say, "Oh wtf? Why would they add this? I guess they want to see illaoi and yi in the LCS now".
Patch notes have slowly stopped being fun and intresting for me to read, but now a days, I read them with a sense of dread, wondering who i'll have to fight for the next 2 weeks. As a toplane main, I always simply pray it isn't a toplaner who gets buffed or indirectly buffed.
I want to go back to a time where some things getting buffed or nerfed were impossible. Like "Nah, they wouldn't buff blitz's hook range. That sounds insane", or "Why would they nerf galio's flash taunt or get rid of Aatrox's revive? That makes no sense".