All this talk about tilting your teammates yet no love for the men in black?
1. Placing barriers (tape, plastic, etc) over your webcam so you can share national secrets with the spy in your room using sign language
2. Periodically muting your mic when sharing classified information, making it difficult to know which conspiracy you're compromising
3. Using complicated passwords instead of easy password systems, requiring epic hax skills
4. Developing a cant with your ~~treasonous allies~~ friends so resources have to be wasted deciphering it
5. Using multiple VPNs to cover your digital shadow. Your agent knows what you're doing, but mad because you won't share
6. Not using your computer more than two hours a day because it's hard to track people through the microwave nowadays
7. Randomly saying "I know you're listening" when you're alone. Your NSA agent knows that you know they're listening. It's facetious, stop it.
8. Playing games more than 16 hours a day. Agents need sleep too, and Mountain Dew+Doritos aren't allowed in the office after Steve ruined it for everyone
9. Fuck Steve
10. When you complain about lag that comes out of nowhere during important moments that require fast reflexes. Yes, it was your agent's fault, but watching you feed in your promos is the only thing that gets him through the day. Let him have this
11. When you complain about matchmaking during your promos. See \#10
12. Blinking in morse code to tell the enemy spy watching your stream national secrets. You think you're being clever, but it's a tired trick. Yes, talking to you Undesireable \#8715. Stop it.
13. Not pledging your allegiance to the flag every day like a real American
14. Not wearing clothes while gaming and forgetting to do \#1. Some things cannot be unseen
15. Playing Yasuo
16. Be a support main but constantly complain about your teammates. Seriously, are you the doting type or a masochist? Pick one
17. Getting into internet arguments but misspelling words, forcing your NSA agent to create a fake Facebook account just to shame your illiterate ass
18. Not letting your relic shield support kill the cannon minion. Even the NSA has standards, man
19. Maining Yasuo
20. Unironically enjoying Justin Bieber music and forcing your agent to listen too. There's a reason it's classified as a highly-advanced interrogation technique
21. Spending too much time making unfunny memes