The Top-Lane Infomercial

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL WRITTEN FOR COMEDIC AND SATIRICAL PURPOSES.) Hey You. Yeah, you. Do you find that your Mid Lane Champions just can't do their job in their intended lane anymore? Can you not get your Glorious Evolution as {{champion:112}} ? Do you fail to {{champion:13}} to the occassion? If so, Player, have we got the lane for you! What's this? Why it's Top-Lane of course! That place that has those Champions like {{champion:92}} and {{champion:58}} and {{champion:24}} and all those ones that they make their bitches! You know, these guys! Ones like this dude {{champion:122}}, and this guy {{champion:86}} , don't forget this fellow {{champion:98}} , and of course {{champion:54}} ! We can't even remember their freaking names! Come Top-Lane and YOU TOO can dumpster on these champions since you're sick of facing that {{champion:238}} or {{champion:91}} for the umpteenth time in a row! They're Melee and you're Ranged, so it's not like THEY can do anything to stop you! Are those pesky Melee Champions STILL trying to get you? Have no fear! Our Patented JUNGLER (TM) will come and camp the ever-living shit out of them so they can't even move outside their own Tower range! Choose from a plethora of JUNGLER Models to help you, like: {{champion:11}} {{champion:113}} {{champion:28}} {{champion:19}} {{champion:5}} {{champion:60}} {{champion:427}} {{champion:64}} AND MUCH MUCH MORE! But wait, you ask: "What if I'm a Bot-Laner like {{champion:67}} or {{champion:51}} ?" Even Better! They'll be even LESS LIKELY to get on you! So come try Top-Lane today! #"Top Lane! Because where the hell else can we dumpster these champions?" ######Paid for by the "Who gives a Shit about Melee Champions" Foundation.

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