The Top-Lane Infomercial

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL WRITTEN FOR COMEDIC AND SATIRICAL PURPOSES.) Hey You. https://media.giphy.com/media/3og0IzQmWmPtuoCwBW/giphy.gif Yeah, you. Do you find that your Mid Lane Champions just can't do their job in their intended lane anymore? Can you not get your Glorious Evolution as {{champion:112}} ? Do you fail to {{champion:13}} to the occassion? If so, Player, have we got the lane for you! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KuBS6M1_MYc/U9rKr_eLnTI/AAAAAAAAVDc/S8YKoyVI8AY/s1600/redtop.jpg What's this? Why it's Top-Lane of course! That place that has those Champions like {{champion:92}} and {{champion:58}} and {{champion:24}} and all those ones that they make their bitches! You know, these guys! Ones like this dude {{champion:122}}, and this guy {{champion:86}} , don't forget this fellow {{champion:98}} , and of course {{champion:54}} ! We can't even remember their freaking names! Come Top-Lane and YOU TOO can dumpster on these champions since you're sick of facing that {{champion:238}} or {{champion:91}} for the umpteenth time in a row! They're Melee and you're Ranged, so it's not like THEY can do anything to stop you! https://www.bobleesays.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/WaitTheresMore-1024x576.jpg Are those pesky Melee Champions STILL trying to get you? Have no fear! Our Patented JUNGLER (TM) will come and camp the ever-living shit out of them so they can't even move outside their own Tower range! Choose from a plethora of JUNGLER Models to help you, like: {{champion:11}} {{champion:113}} {{champion:28}} {{champion:19}} {{champion:5}} {{champion:60}} {{champion:427}} {{champion:64}} AND MUCH MUCH MORE! But wait, you ask: "What if I'm a Bot-Laner like {{champion:67}} or {{champion:51}} ?" Even Better! They'll be even LESS LIKELY to get on you! So come try Top-Lane today! #"Top Lane! Because where the hell else can we dumpster these champions?" https://eagledumpsterrental.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/wastebgsm-768x305.jpg ######Paid for by the "Who gives a Shit about Melee Champions" Foundation.
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