Describe a Champion in one sentence to somebody who doesnt play LoL

Examples: {{champion:85}} A fast af ninja pikachu that throws surikens. {{champion:103}} Korean P0rn star who kills with balls and kisses. {{champion:99}} 16 years old witch who castes deathly light spells including LASERs. --- You get the idea. You can discribe their gameplay, lore, look, character, etc. Keep it short and funny. The goal of this post is to cover all champions this way and to have fun.
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