Welcome to my miserable thread.
I just went 5 games in a row with atrocious lanes. I now need to vent.
So here are my top ten things I wish I could stop shouting at my partners.
#10. 3 ganks to 0!
Lee Sin, I am sure you'll be godly when you finally descend onto a lane and get some work done. But Pantheon is pitching a tent down here. He's not even that tough of a jungler, since he's still under 6 and doesn't have Skyfall yet. If you would just - gank - SOMEWHERE, then we could get some lane pressure back. There's a point where you have to stop farming and stanch the bleeding. We've gone past it. Head to a lane. Please. I don't even care if you run up the lane at the enemy for 5 seconds, use two skills and then skate away. Put in an appearance and draw some attention.
#9. Use your wards!
I know you have em'. You haven't been sweeping (an ADC that takes sweeper? That'd be the day) and you haven't put out a single one since the moment you started autoattacking the creep wave. Your Iron is showing, so stuff it back in and throw your ward into a brush - any brush, I don't even care which one. Heck, even throw it into a brush that already has a ward and we'll call it growing pains.
#8. Get off the wall!
Vayne's Impale. Bard's Cosmic Binding. Jhin's Deadly Flourish and Curtain Call. Every single support skillshot ever. If you are up against the wall, you vastly increase the chances of these skillshots hitting. There are exceptions, but for the most part, standing next to the wall without any brush there, is just plain dumb. Even worse is to squeeze into that little gap between the wall and your turret - you just gave the enemy a free skill hit. Don't ever stand there unless the enemy jungler is visiting your turret brush and you're getting ready to juke the crap out of a dive attempt - in which case, things are already grim.
#7. Don't come!
This one gets yelled at mid lane most often. If you are hot on the heels of a roaming Katarina or Azir, that's fine and thanks for following the enemy mid down. But if the moment you realize your lane is gone, is the moment they appear on the minimap near bottom lane, you need to stay put, farm up and take plates. Don't you dare come running down to botlane trying to heroically rescue everyone from a 3-on-2. Odds are, the jungle is also there - and just to make it worse, you'll probably show up as everyone else dies, making you an easy third kill. Skip the high chance of self-inflicted murder and get some CS and plate gold!
#6. Stay behind the minions!
Keeping your minions between you and the enemy support will ensure they can't hit you directly with whatever they are planning to do - hooks, snares, etc. This is only #6 because against some champs, like Lux and Miss Fortune, it's not that effective.
#5. Stop pushing!
We have the advantage. Great! Who's the enemy jungler? Yi, you say? You need to stop pushing. Last hit minions rather than autoattack them down. This forces the enemy out from their turret making them even easier to kill, and improves the safety net versus some faster junglers. With any luck we can zone them, putting them even further behind. All you have to do is calm down that trigger finger.
#4. Get in EXP range!
So you died once or you don't like a champ the enemy is using. This doesn't mean you sit under your turret while the enemy is farming in the middle of the lane. You're not preventing a weakness, you're creating one. Get so the minions are dying about halfscreen away from you. This not only forces the enemy to Zone properly, standing between you and the minions - which is way more vulnerable to a gank - but now you're not going to be a level behind for an entire wave and a half!
#3. Run to the side! Not away!
This is skillshots 101. Lux is shooting her snare at you - or Morgana, or Zyra or whoever. Move sideways to maximize your chance to evade the skillshot. The only way you avoid it by running away is to completely end the confrontation by escaping the skillshot range - in which case you can't capitalize on the cooldown - or by tricking your opponent into thinking you are smarter than you are. If you run sideways, your opponent will have to guess which way you go. At worst it's a 50/50 gamble! But if you run straight away, you're a sitting duck!
#2. Learn to last hit under a turret!
2 shots from the turret at melee, and then you auto. Auto, shot on a caster, auto. Use skills and timings as your wave arrives.
This is super frustrating on a champ like Nami that lacks the base damage to land the CS herself.
#1. Why do I even ward?!
The enemy jungler sat on the ward for 15 seconds. While I retreated, you kept trying to last hit. C'mon, man. Use your minimap, it's there for a reason. Maybe you are above placing wards, but that doesn't mean that you should devalue their very purchase. Make them worth the time and gold. Recognize your doom is impending as Zac appears in the enemy corner. I warded it for a reason, so mabye you should take the visual and repeated audio warnings and get the heck out of dodge before I wish that I had.