Start up a ranked match. Pick your favorite role, champion, whatever - just go about your champion select as normal. Flame your team and instalock ad mordekaiser top or whatnot. While entering the game, set a timer on your phone to alert you every 30 seconds.
Play the game as normal with two exceptions:
1. You must blink four times a second for the duration of the game, or otherwise slow your reaction time by about 0.2 seconds.
2. Every time the timer beeps, take your hands off your keyboard and mouse for 5 seconds and let your champion walk/stand still in the direction you are currently travelling blindly for a bit.
Congratulations! You're now playing on the East Coast. You may notice you are now losing the game. Worry not, this is a typical symptom of this condition. Repeat until East Coast servers are completed in the year 3059.