Hi my name is Amila, I am 16 years old and I live in Bosnia and Herzegovina. (Playing on EUNE)
So I have been playing league for 2 years. When I started playing I did my 10 promotional games, got bronze 2 and I stopped playing ranked, later on my friends started making fun of me, calling me 'bronze' as a nickname. I was annoyed so I started playing ranked, since the season was almost ending I finished in B1. I was fine about it, in upcoming season I did my provisional games 6 wins 4 loses. And I got b5 I struggled so hard out of it, finished in s4 and then I got permaban on my account (that was last year). While playing and struggling so hard I managed to get myself these "anger problems" . I had them so often I would start hitting myself because of it, or I would start crying because of the madness or I would hit my bed with my fist a lot. The reason I get so angry and desperate is because I try really hard, I play good for real (support main, and I also play mid sometimes) and I lose because of various reasons. Now I got another account and my highest rank was s1 on it , I wanted gold. (People still kinda make fun of me because of my rank) But for some reason I've been in this silver for 5-6 months and I can't get out of it. I constantly lose, win one - lose 3-4. I get so angry and mad it effects my social life a lot and it effects me mentally. I get in fights in real life and I am really harsh and angry mostly, and I act like an asshole. Many people despise that part of me and they think its weird since I am a girl, a tiny one and I do have a lot of good sides and features but I also lose many people and stuff because of my anger. Last 2 weeks I've been losing like hell (more than usually) It's almost getting me depressed. I play league a lot, and I don't really go out so I'm tied to the game. Please guys help me, I am having so much problems mentally. Or tell me how to win or just give me an advice I am desperate. It might not seem that serious but still.. I hope you understand.