Hi. I'm Tolinar, and I'm a toxic player.
I like playing League of Legends, but this game, specifically, makes me angry.
I want to talk about why, since :
- it seems like Riot is more motivated to rehabilitate their angry players rather than find non-angry ones. Which is wise since the majority of the anger is being created by the game.
- I was recently chat-restricted and knocked back to 0 honor when I was a stone's throw away from Honor 2.
I'm not going to pretend like it wasn't deserved - I cursed a lot in chat, I was ascerbic towards teammates.
Instead I'm going to pretend there is someone at Riot Games who actually wants me to stop this behavior...
and their first question would be "Why? Why do you feel you need to get so angry at this game?" so I'm going to answer this question.
I'm out of my League. I am too skilled for the people I play with. The lack of thinking, the lack of mechanical ability, and the generally poor performance of my teammates makes every single game extremely frustrating. Even when I win handily, poor teammates and teamwork in general make this game impossible to keep cool over.
Now... It's easy to just say this. I could be one more person claiming "I don't belong in Bronze!" when I'm a Bronze level player.
So let me establish my case. First off, I'm a support main. Which means... life is hard. I always have less gold, I am expected to behave in ways that weaken me, and if I don't make the absolute most of the least, I'll get blamed for the loss. Second, I'm an old support main. I've been around since Brand was added to the game. I always get too angry at the game, quit for awhile, and come back after a few months to a year. Well, this time I want another path. So I'm opening a dialogue instead. Being an old player, I'm pretty accustomed to systems and mechanics that younger players don't have the same grip on.
Third, I'm off meta. This is important, because it frustrates my partners. I have found that the only way to compensate for players who do badly, is to be able to carry the game myself if my ADC does badly. About a year and a half ago, my main switched from Nami, a champion who is highly dependent on her teammates, to Cassiopeia, a champion who can fend for herself and switch from Support to ADC on a whim. Since then I've built up a mix of standard and off meta supports, including Taric, Zyra, and Yorick. I'm currently working on Support Cho'gath. It's going really nicely; he has crazy good growth potential, so he's excellent for careful players with a strong sense of timing.
But Support Cass isn't my only problem. In most games I run Heal/Teleport. Some, Ghost/Teleport. And in exactly zero of my games do I take Flash. If you were to ask me why... I believe Flash on every champion ever is the single most selfish, arrogant non-decision in League today. But that's a different chat.
Between picking unusual champs, and not taking Flash, I convince a lot of my teammates that I'm an inferior player before the games even begin. But am I actually inferior? Or am I actually a superior player trapped in inferior play?
I submit to you, my Ranked games history.
Be aware that in Normals, I learn and develop new champs, so I am not playing at my best.
In Ranked play, for the last fifteen games I was:
- 3rd, out of the 10 players
- Best on my team
This uses OP.GG's "OP Score" which is a conjectural form of analysis, incomplete and prone to potential error.
However. Assuming I am an average player, playing at-or-around my skill level, I should have an equal chance to take any ranking - 1st to tenth.
This is clearly not the case. I want you to understand how depressing it is to scroll down my Ranked History and see all the "MVP" and "ACE" everywhere.
According to my League stats profile, I am an "A" level support, with...
- an A on Cass Support (Gotta work on my map control.)
- an A on Nami
- a B+ on Zyra
- an A+ on Yorick
- and incidental A's on Cho'gath (incomplete) and Kayle (earned before the rework.) in normal draft.
It's true that almost every lane I go into, I dominate. I end up stomping on the enemy ADC and support, forcing the jungler's attention, controlling the lane to the point that all too often, every single player on the enemy team comes down to kill me. I don't always win - sometimes I am counterpicked or end up with a feeding partner that I just can't recover. But mostly, I feel like I am vastly more skilled than the players I face. Out of over 80 Ranked games, there was just one player I felt was more skilled than I was. It was a Morgana.
So... **Why am I in Bronze I?**
Because League of Legends is not fair - especially not at lower ELO. Players have a 50% chance of winning games. After playing 82 Ranked games, I have clawed from Iron 3 up to Bronze 1. I just reached Bronze 1, actually, on the back of a long, lucky winning streak. I now have 43 wins and 39 losses. Why, if I am constantly destroying my lane, is this a typical win/loss rate?
Because I'm in Bronze.
My teammates disconnect. Or quit. Or intentionally feed.
Someone will feed Master Yi 6 kills. Or Jax 7, or Riven 9. Or Nasus will go unmitigated and roll over the Nexus with a yawn.
Someone will get Jungle and die to chickens.
Someone will get ADC and take Smite.
Someone will decide that Ranked is a good place to play their very first game on Darius.
These are all things that actually happened in my 80 games - each one responsible for one of the varied losses in my 39.
And every loss only makes me more and more angry.
So I tell those players off. When someone decides to play Darius for the first time, I give them a tongue lashing. When they dive an Ezreal under his turret while he still has 4 bars, I berate them. Ignoring wards, not helping an invaded jungler, failing to convert a kill. League is a tough game and there's plenty of mistakes to make, and I have a hot temper after all these years.
I have developed a rule some years ago:
- **League players never improve DURING a game.** There's no point in telling them what to do, because they won't do it.
I thought this knowledge would help me to cope, but really, it doesn't. It just aggravates the fact that - my teammates are bad, my opponents are bad, and I can't fix it, and since I'm stuck on the flipping coin, I either get a snooze-fest of a stomp, or we get steamrolled in a way that's nearly impossible to recover.
And to make things worse, people complain in chat. They make me out as the bad guy, blame their failure on me.
About 2 years ago, I moved my chat window offscreen, so I can't see what they say.
I still type. From my chat logs, the typoes are atrocious! Really laughably bad. But it's fine. It's better than hearing what anyone else has to say. I am tired of excuses and insults and verbal acid from people who refuse to do better.
So, I am stuck with poor teammataes. But I'm climbing out. Why this little chat?
_Because it's taking too long._
The fact that I got Chat-Restricted (which, by the way, was caused by my first promotional to Bronze 1 - which failed utterly) is a good indicator that I still have way too much to be angry about.
At this point, climbing Bronze II, I am making 20 LP on wins and losing 15 on losses. It was better, but the longer I spend in Bronze, the worse it gets. And this is where the swamp of League Ranked play really shows through. The game can't detect that I am doing better than my teammates - or, if it can, it doesn't reward that. It can't tell that I belong in higher level play.
It decides by winning and losing. If you win, you belong higher. If you lose, you are where you should be, or you belong lower. Alternating wins and losses evenly means, you are where you ought to be.
And the longer I stay in Bronze, the more it decides that - this is where I belong. That I am about the same skill level as my opponents - despite the protests of its own metrics and external websites. My LP gains and losses are slowing. I am losing confidence I will ever face opponents of my skill level, let alone work with teammates of my skill level.
And with nowhere to go and nobody to face - but one person after another who thinks that, they can run in at the last minute and be the hero who mops up the fight and wins the game (despite being tremendously late and with multiple free waves to farm) I get angry.
I get really angry.
If you want to fix the number of angry players in your games, you should work on the matchmaking system. It is taking too long to climb.
In my immediately previous Promotional series (the most recent 2 ranked Losses, back to back) I faced a Nasus who disconnected, a 17 kill Wukong, and every other player feeding.
And before that, it was a DIFFERENT 17 kill Wukong (I kid you not) a failure of an ADC, and a Kha'zix who basically just chased me down and killed me over and over. Check out the remake immediately after - I'm so glad the enemy ADC disconnected, or I would have been stuck with an ADC playing with Smite (Again!)
Let me bring this rambling to a head.
TL;DR I don't think I belong where I'm at. And progression is taking too long because Bronze is so random.
If you want me to be a less angry player, give me better teammates.
_**Hey. You. About to downvote and insult me.**_
Move along, I'm not even here to harass anymore.