A Corporate Matter Season 9 Episode 5

#A Corporate Matter **Episode: _The Fires of Retribution_** {{champion:64}} _"Cough cough."_ {{champion:240}} "You're going to be okay now, I got you out of there." {{champion:64}} "What happened, why is the building on fire?" {{champion:240}} "I don't know. But I'm going to find out. Go to the medics over there, you need oxygen." {{champion:81}} "I just got back from running errands for Mundo, what in Runeterra is going on?" {{champion:240}} "The fourth floor caught fire, I don't know why. It spread unusually fast, our fire suppression system did nothing." {{champion:81}} "Is everyone okay, are they all out?" {{champion:240}} "Yeah, I think everyone made it out except Jinx and her rat. But her office doubles as a panic room so she should be fine." {{champion:81}} "Is there anything I can do to help?" {{champion:240}} "Not really. I've already got Pyke searching for anyone I missed, Leona is helping fight the fire and Ivern won't get anywhere near it on account of the fact he is made of firewood. I miss the old days. Noxians were brave, strong, proud. Even though they were made of meat, they still jumped right into the meat grinder. You Millenials could learn a thing or two." {{champion:81}} "I'm gonna go see if anyone needs me over by the medics." {{champion:240}} "You do that. I'm gonna talk to the fire chief, see if I can learn why they haven't put this damn fire out." {{champion:81}} "Alright, good luck." {{champion:240}} "Chief! What are you doing with my property, it's still on fire!" {{champion:18}} "We are trying as best as we can. This fire isn't behaving normally. It's like it's alive, has a mind of its own. Water has barely any effect on it, and as soon as we make any progress, we find it has changed direction. It also has a nasty habit of circling around my team. A couple of them have nearly been trapped in a ring of fire." {{champion:240}} "Why is the fire such a bright golden color?" {{champion:18}} "That's another thing, I've never seen fire this color before. You don't have anything strange in your building, do you?" {{champion:240}} "Lady, we have more strange things in our building than you can imagine. But I don't think there's anything that would cause living yellow fire." {{champion:18}} "I don't know what to do, we are losing this fight. I need more information about the fire and what started it. Do you know where it started?" {{champion:240}} "Yeah, the fourth floor." {{champion:18}} "Okay, it's going to be incredibly dangerous. But if you want to have a chance of saving this building. I am going to need you to go there and see what you can find out." {{champion:240}} "I'm on it, come on Skaarl!" {{champion:18}} "Wait wait!" {{champion:240}} **"WHAT!?"** {{champion:18}} "You'll be a deep-fried Yordle in minutes if you go in there like that. Here, put some protective gear on. And take a radio, so we can communicate." _**One dress up later:**_ {{champion:240}} "Firefighter Kled! Now, this is what I'm talking about. Come on Skaarl. **CHAAAAAAAARRRRRGE!!!!!**" _**Later, on the fourth floor:**_ {{champion:18}} "Alright, do you see anything out of the ordinary? Maybe what caused the fire?" {{champion:240}} "No, just a ton of fire. This outfit works great, I don't feel anything." {{champion:18}} "Grade-A Piltover fabric. Just keep looking, there has to be something." {{champion:63}} **"BURN, THIS UNHOLY HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY SHALL BE DESTROYED."** {{champion:240}} "Chief, I think I found the cause. It seems to fall more into my department than yours, so I will talk to you after I've taken care of it. **HEY, NO BURNING ON MY PROPERTY!**" {{champion:63}} "This building is an abomination. That which deserves nothing more than to burn to the ground. I am going to do just that. And nothing can stop me from completing my mission." {{champion:240}} "Well get ready, cause you are about to get your ass kicked by a whole lotta nothing." {{champion:63}} **"THEN YOU WILL BURN TOO!!!!"** _"Pillar of fire."_ {{champion:240}} "You idiot, this outfit comes with built-in adaptive helm technology. Your fire does nothing to me. **NOW DIE, YOU PISS COLORED MATCHSTICK!!!**" _"Charges Arclight brand."_ {{champion:63}} "By the light..." _"Gets trampled and repeatedly stabbed by Korporate Kled."_ {{champion:240}} **"NO _*STAB*_ ONE _*STAB*_ VADALIZES _*STAB*_ MY _*STAB*_ PROPERTY!!!! _*STAB*_"** {{champion:63}} "ENOUGH!!!" _"Blasts Korporate Kled away."_ {{champion:63}} "This tumor is even worse than I could have imagined. It seems I will not be able to root it out alone. Congrats, you may continue poisoning this planet for another time." _"Ascends into the high heavens."_ _**All the fire vanishes with Arclight Brand, leaving nothing but scorched offices.**_ {{champion:240}} "There. Nobody walks in here and starts destroying stuff except me. Ain't that right Skaarl."
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