A Corporate Matter: Episode: Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Chameleon

The comments are broken where I normally post this. So I am going to start posting here. For those unfamiliar, A Corporate Matter is a weekly story I post in the comments of the free rotation announcement. I have been doing it for a number of years now. You can view past free rotation posts to read old episodes. #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Corporate Chameleon_** {{champion:36}} _"And you no longer forced to work. Take as many vacations as you need."_ {{champion:81}} "Boss, I really think you should come back to your office. I'm not so sure you're feeling alright." {{champion:36}} _"Do not worry pretty boy, I am fine. I treated people here badly, it is time I say sorry. **EVERYONE GET BIGGEST RAISE!**"_ {{champion:64}} **"WOOOOOO!!!"** {{champion:150}} "What is going on out here?" {{champion:36}} "The boss has finally fully lost his mind. Except instead of killing us all, like I thought he would, he is giving us raises, time off, and other benefits." {{champion:150}} "Still hasn't mentioned healthcare though?" {{champion:64}} "First thing he said, we are getting the best healthcare on the market, it even includes dental." {{champion:150}} "Oh my Rito, he has gone further than I ever thought he would. Is it wrong to take advantage of this situation?" {{champion:64}} "I don't think he would hesitate if it were the other way around." {{champion:150}} "Hey boss! What do you think about adding a cafeteria that serves free food twenty-four seven?" {{champion:36}} _"I think that is great idea. It very hard to work on empty stomache."_ {{champion:36}} "What going on in here?" {{champion:64}} "Oh uh boss, we were just getting back to- Wait, boss?" {{champion:36}} Who this you talk to? Oh, it just Corporate Mundo. Why no one tell me he here. Wait, me is Corporate Mundo. If me be him, who him be?" {{champion:36}} _"This is all a scary dream. You need to go back to your office and wait to wake up."_ {{champion:36}} "That make sense. This out of body experience again. Me hate these, since you no feel pain during it, and me love pain. Wait." _"Pulls out a scalpel and stabs himself in the leg."_ {{champion:36}} "Me knew it, me still feel delicious pain. So it real life and you intruder!" _"Swings cleaver at the other Corporate Mundo."_ {{champion:518}} "Ouch, you cut my arm." {{champion:150}} **"WHAT IN THE NAME OF RITO!"** {{champion:518}} "Oh, hi! I'm Neeko. And you are, incredibly cute when you are scared to death!" {{champion:150}} **"AHHHHHHH, MONSTER!!!!"** {{champion:518}} "Neeko not monster. Neeko is Outsider looking in, wanting to belong." {{champion:36}} **"GET OUT OF ME BUILDING!"** _"Swings at her again."_ {{champion:518}} "You are mean, like sneaky snake. I leave you now." _"Runs away."_ {{champion:36}} **"SECURITY!"** {{champion:240}} "You called?" {{champion:36}} "There is thing loose in building. Catch it and dispose of it. Careful, it look like others, could be anyone, even you." {{champion:240}} "That would explain why I walked past myself in the hallway." {{champion:64}} "You just now questioned that?" {{champion:240}} "Look, you see a lot of strange things when you drink mushroom juice." {{champion:36}} "Just go catch it!" {{champion:240}} "Can do." _"Runs after Neeko."_ _**A few minutes later:**_ {{champion:240}} **"THERE YOU ARE!"** {{champion:518}} {{champion:240}} "Don't mind me, I'm just Yordling around. Is that what Yordles say?" {{champion:240}} "You are trespassing, **ON MY PROPERTY!**" {{champion:518}} {{champion:240}} "I like angry Yordle! **STAB! STAB! TACOS! SKAAAARL!**" {{champion:89}} "Boss, we heard your call for backup." {{champion:427}} "We knew the situation must be dire, because you never call for backup. Wait, why are there two fo you." {{champion:240}} "There ain't two of me, you idiot! And I would never call for backup. But since you're here, help me catch that imposter." {{champion:518}} {{champion:240}} "I did call you for help, thank you so much for coming. I'm sorry I am always so mean to you, I only do it because I care and want you to be better. Now please help me take that imposter down, I cannot do it alone." {{champion:427}} _"Tears up."_ "You really mean that, boss?" {{champion:240}} "What, no. Of course I don't mean what she said. I call you an idiot because you are one. Now stop standing there like one and help me." {{champion:427}} "I don't know what to do, I can't figure out which one is the real boss." {{champion:89}} "Really, you have no idea which one might not be the cranky crazy mean boss that we work for." {{champion:427}} "I know, I can ask you a personal question, one that only the real Korporate Kled could answer. But darn it, I don't know anything about you personally. If only you didn't have communication problems we wouldn't be in this mess." {{champion:240}} "I don't have trouble communicating. Words is just treacherous bastards." {{champion:518}} "I agree, words are tricky. Better to speak with colors, and emotion." {{champion:427}} **"WAHHH, WHAT IS THAT!?"** {{champion:518}} "Oops, guess I broke my disguise. I'm Neeko, happy to meet you." {{champion:427}} "H-h-hi." _"Nervously waves."_ {{champion:240}} "You know what, I actually kinda like you." {{champion:518}} "Really? That's great! Neeko only here because Neeko lonely and want friends." {{champion:240}} "Too bad I only get paid if I toss this bear trap at you, tie you up and throw you outside." {{champion:518}} "What?" {{champion:240}} "tosses a bear trap at Neeko, ties her up and throws her outside." {{champion:518}} **"NEEKO WILL REMEMBER THIS, I WILL GROW NEW BETTER TAIL AND THEN YOU LEARN. NEEKO IS NOT A SAD TOMATO. SHE IS A STRONG TOMATO!"**

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