Jhin's Humanity

During the Q&A on Tuesday, WAAARGHbobo was answering a question explaining Illaoi's opinion of Jhin. "She would not approve. For the same reasons she would be bothered by a compulsive gambler or alcoholic. He is doing the same thing over and over -- because he can't help himself. Hidden in Jhin's lines you can find the hints that he knows he's a monster and want's to stop...but can't." This...is just awesome. My fear after seeing Jhin was that he would be a one-dimensional guy who just loves killing for the sake of some perverted passion, kind of like Shaco. But after paying due attention to his VO, I noticed a trend: "I swear each performance is the last, but I lie every time." - he wants to stop, but he finds himself unable to break the cycle; he feels trapped "I am a slave to this passion." - captivity within killing; inability to escape "There is nothing for me but this." - futility in trying to do something else; again, captivity "My work asks questions, it never has answers." - futility in pursuing this passion; he will never get any answers by killing, and he knows this "I want to feel everything. The gun makes it so I do." - euphoria in killing; a desire to experience euphoria and happiness "It is only when the gun fires that I am alive." - euphoric emotions when killing; indicates this is the only place where he gets this "I envy silence... because I must be loud." - silence often means peace; Jhin can never have this because he feels forced to be loud, i.e. chaotic "Bliss comes only in the moment before I fire." - killing/his art is his only source of happiness "This... passion... compels me." - he feels forced to follow his passion; a lighter sense of enslavement Jhin always seems to be trapped within his own passion for creating this art in killing. He's not in any way ignorant of it though, as WAAARGHbobo said. It's evident that Jhin feels alive (or enters a state akin to some type of extreme euphoria) when he is killing and equates it to artwork. Jhin finds his identity in this and thus feels trapped within it, compulsively following this passion because it's the only thing that gives him any sense of being alive. Jhin finds himself enslaved by his art and has been doing it for so long, he knows of no way to free himself from it; it's all he's known for so long. When someone lives in a cage for a long enough time, they can't leave even if they want to. This is Jhin's mentality. He know's what he does is wrong, that he should stop, and that he wants to stop, but he can't. In this, we have a dynamic character who feels a sense of depression in that he can't escape his art, but at the same time it gives him enough satisfaction that he is able to lose touch with reality during his artwork. In the same manner as a drunkard who escapes the pains of his life through inebriation, Jhin escapes his feeling of captivity and the futility of his passion in the euphoria he gets from killing. This aspect of his character is so amazing and dynamic that it creates a fully rounded character that has multiple facets of personality, which is way cool for me. I personally love these types of characters who have a crazy side but still try to cling to humanity as much as possible. Everyone has hardships in life, and everyone tries to escape them through something. Some have religion, some have alcohol, some have art, and some have murder. And others have video games.
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