Every Runeterra's way of being a furry (surprisingly not a shitpost)

... not entirely, at least. Hear me out: I will go through every champion with animalistic traits and explain to you how they managed to manifest their inner fursona in the real world, 100% lore accurate. Stick with me, because I guarantee that the conclusion of this post is a**_ legitimate _**point of discussion. - **Random mentions**: those champions are quite unique in why they are furries. You can either read a brief summary about their transition or ignore them. {{champion:69}} : cursed or something idc {{champion:60}} : signed a contract with a spider god {{champion:16}} : waiting for a retcon, I guess... {{champion:102}} : idk, dad had sex with a dragon or something. She had so many retcons I don't care to be updated. {{champion:29}} : nobody knows, nobody cares. {{champion:350}} : literally just a cat {{champion:77}} : literally just wearing a fursuit {{champion:19}} : questionable medical procedure carried out by even more questionable mad scientist - **Yordles **{{champion:32}} {{champion:42}} {{champion:74}} {{champion:150}} {{champion:105}} {{champion:240}} {{champion:85}} {{champion:117}} {{champion:78}} {{champion:68}} {{champion:17}} {{champion:18}} {{champion:45}} {{champion:115}} just as if being a yordle wasn't enough of a disgrace, those damn midgets are supposed to have several animalistic traits (especially evident for the males). Yordles are somehow tied to the spirit realm, but Riot doesn't care to give any info on them. - **Vastaya/Vastaya'jdghsharei** {{champion:103}} {{champion:267}} {{champion:518}} {{champion:497}} {{champion:76}} {{champion:107}} {{champion:498}} {{champion:62}} don't pretend any detail from me, but channeling very hard some spirit magic _deep inside into_ you, you and your progeny turn into an half animal of your personal choice. Apparently this is also a very useful thing to do for fighting _"an ancient race of titans from the skies above"_ as per the most recent random retcon. - **Minotaurs**: {{champion:12}} a fellow poster pointed out Minotaurs are specified not to be Vastayan, but there is no information about what they are, though. All we know is that they are furries. - **Spirit gods**{{champion:34}} {{champion:516}} {{champion:203}} {{champion:106}} goodhood comes at a cost: being a furry. Nothing is really explained about frejilordian demigods, not even if they are exclusive to freijlord; their origins remain unclear, but it is known for certain that they have deep rooted presence both in the land AND the spirit realm. - **The Ursine** loving your favourite spirit god Volibear very very much transforms you into a bear-thing abomination. It just works like that. - **The Shuriman Ascended** {{champion:75}} {{champion:33}} {{champion:58}} {{champion:268}} Weirdly enough, channeling the energies of the cosmos through a gigantic sun disc gifted by the gods themselves... turns you into a gigantic furry. This has nothing to do with the spirit realm, but it is related to the cosmic/conceptual plane of Runeterra (Targon) where Platonic ideas reside. When the candidate for ascension is invested by the magic furry ray, they fuse with an abstract concept from the aforementioned plane of existence. It is stated that in that moment they could take any form, so they decide to be furries: the only logical choice. Riot justified this by saying that the ascended pick their animal totem based on which animal symbol in the shuriman alphabet represents the abstract concept they're merging with. Yeah, I won't buy that. Now, for the serious part of the discussion: in my opinion **retcons have left a gigantic aesthetic design gap for champions.** Specifically, it is most striking how having animalistic features in a champion can't pinpoint a single origin. The Yordles, the Vastaya, the spirit gods are all tied to the spirit realm, but the Shuriman Ascended stand out as a white fly. Obviously this was inevitable, for Renekton and Nasus are older than the current worldbuilt lore and had to be fit in there a posteriori. **In a sense, the Vastya are bringing entities from the spiritual plane into them similarly how the Ascended did with conceptual plane entities; on the other hand the Spirit gods might be entities of the spirit realm finding a way to exist in the physical plane through a vessel exactly how the Targon gods are doing with the Aspects ({{champion:10}} {{champion:80}} {{champion:142}} etc.).** **While the Yordles are very visually distinguishable, spirit gods, Ascended and Vastaya can't be taken apart just by looks, for they are both human/animal hybrids; yet their power levels differ immensely. At least, Vastaya and Spirit Gods share the same place of origin: the spirit realm; instead Ascended and Aspects are very different despite being both related to the conceptual plane. Insult to injury, Aspects appear as normal humans, that are their vessels; spirit gods have vessels too but their appearence changes to fit the animal trope.** Even if we don't mind the incongruences above, in my opinion it's a shame that such an interesting concept as "human merged with an idea" is devolved into animalistic features. An animal is way too grounded to be the embodyment of an abstract concept. Ironically, the only Shuriman Ascended that delivers on this side of things is {{champion:101}} which is a being of pure arcane magic, and again differs completely from his peers. I would like a lot if Riot explored the aesthetic of a man fused with an abstract concept. How would it look like?
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