: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Twinkle Twinkle Little Dark Star_** {{champion:412}} "Taking one of them captive, how is it that we never thought of this?" {{champion:59}} "Sometimes you just need a fresh mind to spice things up." {{champion:38}} "Oi! You Dark Star blokes gonna start pashing or are we going to get to the rest of your plan?" {{champion:110}} "Shut it, Cosmic Reaver scum!" {{champion:38}} "Whatever, my mates are gonna save me anyhow." {{champion:59}} "Oh, we're counting on it. They are going to fall right into our trap. Which we have to finish preparing. You stay right here in your shackles, we'll be back." _"Leaves the room with the rest of the Dark Stars."_ {{champion:38}} "Wow, it sure is dark in here. Hey, you're one of those Corporate blokes, aren't ye? What are you doing in a place like this?" {{champion:150}} "Honestly, I don't even know anymore. I just kinda go with it now." {{champion:38}} "Ah, finally dead inside huh?" {{champion:150}} "Yeah, pretty much." _**Over at the Dark Star command room:**_ {{champion:412}} "Now, I know you have been doing great work so far, but you have to admit. Your plan of luring them all into a room and then you yell and jump on top of them. Well, it isn't very elegant." {{champion:59}} "Oh sure, so everything else I've done right must have been luck then. You were nothing before me. So listen to what I have to say." {{champion:412}} _**"NOTHING BEFORE YOU?**_ **I HAVE CONQUERED COUNTLESS STAR SYSTEMS! I HAVE EXTINGUISHED AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE NUMBER OF LIVES! I CREATED ALL OF YOU! AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME NOTHING!"** {{champion:110}} "You need to learn your place, newborn." {{champion:59}} "My place, is king of the endless void. Being the eternal ruler of a formless universe. And I don't need any of you to do it. Have fun dying to the Cosmics." _"Leaves."_ {{champion:61}} "I thought his plan to be decent." {{champion:412}} **"WELL THEN, WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW HIM OUT THE DOOR LIKE THE LOSER YOU ARE?"** {{champion:61}} "I agree, it seems that is the best course of action." _"Follows Dark Star Jarvan IV out the door."_ {{champion:121}} "Mhrrrrrrrr, fools. Needed them, for success. Now only death if stay." _"Flys away."_ {{champion:412}} "We don't need them anyway. The two of us, just like old times. We'll conquer new systems. Create new Dark Stars. Ones like you, who understand that they'll never be as smart, powerful or cool as me." {{champion:110}} "Do you think I could destroy one on my own for once?" {{champion:412}} "We've talked about this. You are not powerful enough to take one on your own. Your existence is simply to help me end all light. Don't try and get too ambitious, you are just incapable of doing more." {{champion:110}} "I have served you faithfully since my creation. But I think the newborns might be right. You need to learn humility. And I'm afraid the only way for you to do that is to fail on your own. You must understand, I am doing this for your own good. I will return when you have learned." _"Leaves."_ {{champion:412}} **"HAHAHAHA! I NEVER NEEDED ANY OF YOU! I WILL KILL THE COSMICS AND VALORAN WITHOUT YOUR HELP!"** {{champion:11}} "Who you yelling to? You've not gone mental before I get a crack at ya, have you? {{champion:412}} "No, just yelling at my former servants. They all abandoned me." {{champion:11}} "I feel ya. The other two was suppose' to be here to save Reaver. But they too busy havin' a naughty to care. So now I'm to face all ya alone." {{champion:412}} "Well, it's just me now. And I'm not really feeling up to fighting anymore. What say we call it a draw and have a drink?" {{champion:11}} "Well, I was all prepared to do my thing and try and stick mah finger up your bum. But boy could I use a coldie." {{champion:412}} "I know this great space bar just two galaxies away." {{champion:11}} "I think I'll be the judge of that." _**They both leave to find companionship in the most unlikely of places.**_ _**Some time later:**_ {{champion:150}} "**HELLO, HELLO! IS ANYONE OUT THERE?** Wow, they actually just left us here. Now how are we going to get out?" {{champion:38}} "I don't know about you, but luckily I can just teleport away." _"Blinks out of sight."_ {{champion:150}} "Wait, why didn't you just do that earlier? **COME BACK, TAKE ME WITH YOU!** I hate my life."
: To the skin team, I spoke with friends and we thought that Trucker {{champion:516}} , {{champion:106}} , and {{champion:201}} would be awesome, especially for the ultimate, instead of a ram, being an 18-wheeler.
Or Definitely Not Volibear, where Voli is dressed up like Tibbers.
: Summoner Showcase 137
{{item:3070}} {{champion:32}} {{item:3070}}
: Laughing Fish's 200,000 lifetime upvote spectacular! (Come and get your free skins!)
Laughing Fish https://i.giphy.com/media/14e50y7jQ2o0ww/200.gif
: Patch 158.5 notes: >#Humanity Ended >The sun exploded and inevitably destroyed everything humanity has built, leaving no one alive to continue our legacy. > > * NO MAN STANDING: Removed humanity > * NO MAN'S LAND: Earth is now considered not occupied by setient creatures by client > >#Bugfixes > * Mordekaiser's ghosts now work properly, leaving only 1853 bugs to fix > * Syndra's ghost-sphere problem solved > * We've heard you that Death Recap seems buggy and are investigating what we can do, but have no decision yet, current estimate is that new Death Recap will be shipped within next 100 patches. All that can be said for now is Soon™
> [{quoted}](name=Velzard of Koz,realm=EUNE,application-id=3ErqAdtq,discussion-id=OakNXtX6,comment-id=00030000,timestamp=2017-12-03T17:09:21.623+0000) > > Patch 158.5 notes: God's Patch Notes.
Rioter Comments
: GG: Over $2 million raised for charity
I was so glad to be a part of this! Is there a chance you guys'll do another one for charities for physical disabilities? (I'm physically challenged myself, so I may be sliiiighty biased) {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-thumbs}}
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _I've Got Too Many Of The Preseason Blues And Not Enough Of The Essence Blues._** {{item:3211}} _♫"At last, it's here! The brand new changes are here!"♫_ {{item:3211}} _♫"Oh look, they're free, all the runes are free!"♫_ {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} _**♫"IT'S PRESEASON!"♫**_ {{item:3211}} _♫"And everybody's havin' fun!"♫_ {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} _**♫"IT'S PRESEASON!"♫**_ {{item:3211}} _♫"And pay to win is done!"♫_ {{item:3211}} _♫"Because everything rune related is now **FREEEEEEEEEEEE!**"♫_ {{champion:236}} "Well, not the pages." {{item:3211}} "Wait, what?" {{champion:236}} "Only the runes are free. The pages still cost the same. And since we quadrupled the amount of time it takes to get 6300 Blue Essence, good luck." {{item:3211}} "I was so excited to create a page for every champ I play." {{item:3211}} "I never bought rune pages before because runes were so boring." {{champion:236}} "And that's why we did what we did. Now we know you are going to spend RP on pages. Well, maybe not you guys, because as far as I know, no one pays summoners for anything. But to maybe distract you from how mad at us you are, we are bringing back Urfwick like you all wanted. He's going to cost more BE than you will ever make. But he's there. Also, we broke Ezreal again, so have fun." {{item:3211}} _"Sobs."_ _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:104}} _♫"Tonight we are victorious! Champagne pouring over us! All my friends were glorious! Tonight we are victorious!♫_ {{champion:79}} "Boooo, you suck!" {{champion:69}} "How can you celebrate at a time like this?" {{champion:104}} "B-b-but I'm this year's victori-" {{champion:3}} "My left leg was more worthy of being this year's victorious skin than you." {{champion:20}} "I have an idea. The Corporates seem to really care about him. So, what if we take him hostage? Demand they buff us in order to get him back?" {{champion:163}} "I vowed to stand up to injustice, there is no way I can let you-" {{champion:20}} "He teaches little kids like me that smoking is cool and I should try it." {{champion:163}} **"THAT BASTARD, KILL HIM!"** {{champion:104}} "What, no, that's just an allegation. You can't believe that, just because some kid on Twitter accused me of it. You have to see reason. Okay, I can see you aren't believing a word I am saying. Alright, I'm going to admit it, I use F to flash." {{champion:163}} "We all knew that already. Besides, that still doesn't make what you did right." {{champion:104}} "Yeah, you might have a point. **LOOK, OVER THERE, ANOTHER CELEBRITY IS BEING ACCUSED OF SOMETHING, FORGET ALL ABOUT ME!**" _"Runs away."_ _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:16}} _♫"Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good-"♫_ {{champion:150}} "**NOOOOO, NO SINGING!** You know my rules on singing, especially singing that." {{champion:16}} "Sorry. I'm just trying to keep calm with all the protesting going on outside." {{champion:150}} "This happens every preseason. That's why we have these protocols in place. But this year does seem to be a bit worse. Ah, Corporate Mundo had someone type up a response to the players, and he wants me to tell it. Why me. Alright, I'll yell it out at them." _"Opens window."_ {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} **"WE WANT BLUE ESSENCE ON EVERY WIN!"** {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} {{item:3211}} **"WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO UNLOCK MORE THAN ONE CHAMPION A MONTH!"** {{champion:150}} "Alright, you guys want a response, here you go. Direct from the higher-ups." {{champion:150}} "The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different champions." {{champion:150}} "As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the PBE and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before preseason. Among other things, we’re looking at average per-player essence earn rates on a daily basis, and we’ll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have missions that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay." {{champion:150}} "We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here outside our office, our boards and across numerous other outlets." {{champion:150}} "We Corporates will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can." {{champion:16}} "You think that will calm them down?" {{item:3211}} **"I wonder if Blade Of The Burger King wants to sell me a sense of pride and accomplishment by making me work 10 hours for my damn fries!"** {{champion:150}} "Nope." _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:36}} _♫"Me feel rich as hell, rich as hell. Got some players to spend again. Corporate Mundo was born for this, born for this."♫_ {{champion:81}} "Really, you just ripped off our statement from another game company?" {{champion:36}} "Yes, Corporate Mundo hear lots people talk about it. Figure it be very popular. It from very big company too, people love big company." {{champion:81}} "You are so out of touch with your player base, I don't know how you've kept them here." {{champion:36}} "Corporate Mundo steal part of their soul everytime they start game. They no can leave even if they wanted."
Best one you've made yet! {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-thumbs}}
VoxGodus (EUW)
: I feel like people don't really see him as disabled since he is clearly a very powerful mage and, therefore, they see past his disability and focus on his awesomeness
> [{quoted}](name=VoxGodus,realm=EUW,application-id=A7LBtoKc,discussion-id=IE6IXvWM,comment-id=00500000,timestamp=2017-11-04T00:49:17.585+0000) > > I feel like people don't really see him as disabled since he is clearly a very powerful mage and, therefore, they see past his disability and focus on his awesomeness True. He is pretty awesome.
Meddler (NA)
: Quick Gameplay Thoughts: November 3
https://i.imgur.com/FlK1RHf.png Swain's word cloud. Strange, I don't see the words "cane", "limp", "disability", or "handicap" anywhere on here. You'd think one of the very few champs in League with an actual disability (thus the reason I identify with him so much, being disabled myself) would have that mentioned at least somewhere on here, due to the fact it's part of his (for now) identity and lore. This doesn't mean this certain aspect of him isn't going to be retained for the rework, is it? There are almost no "disabled" champions in League, and I'd hate to lose one that I enjoy playing as.
Violett (NA)
: Is it me, or is Kennen never, EVER, mentioned in the description of anything related to him, before you actually go to page. "Moo Cow Alistar, Renektoy, Pug’Maw, and more are on the October Early Sale list!" Where's Kennen, you can't fit one name on here?
: Pretty sure that's Caitlyn.
: Punches and Plants: A Piltover Police Story
So why is Kayne the police chief?
Catalin10GG (EUNE)
I reeeaally hope that {{champion:78}} skin is fake. I'm hating that she was made into a "cutesy" champ ala {{champion:18}} . I want to finally see her get a proper legendary commando skin that brings back her original no-nonsense personality.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _You can't always get what you want, unless you complain enough._** _**Last week:**_ {{champion:150}} "Ah, everything is looking good. The free rotation isn't cancerous, I'm on it. I was out of the office for that whole thing with Kayn. Today I can just put my feet up and-" {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:150}} "Yeah, I know we aren't supposed to mention when it's peaceful. But today I'm not feeling very superstitious." {{champion:16}} "Uhmmm sir, there is something wrong going on outside. A crowd of people is rioting and I think I hear them chanting your name." {{champion:150}} "Son of a- Let's go see what they want." {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:150}} "I don't want to hear it, Sona." _**Outside the building:**_ {{item:3211}} **"GIVE US TALIYAH OR GIVE US DEATH!"** {{item:3211}} "Hang on, I want her free. But I'm not really prepared to give my life just so I don't waste 6300 IP on a champion I might not like." {{item:3211}} "Fine, how about we get a little more threatening. **GIVE US TALIYAH OR WE SHALL HAVE CORPORATE GNAR'S HEAD!**" {{item:3211}}{{item:3211}}{{item:3211}}{{item:3211}}{{item:3211}} "**GIVE US TALIYAH OR WE SHALL HAVE CORPORATE GNAR'S HEAD!**" {{champion:150}} "Oh dear Rito, summoners." {{champion:16}} "Summoners? I thought we retconned them." {{champion:150}} "No, we removed their main purpose. But they are still around. Mostly they just stay in a dark cave all day and play league all day." {{champion:16}} "Just like normal League players." {{champion:150}} "Also, they are also really dumb. So we use them to test experimental things from time to time." {{champion:16}} "So, they are pretty much PBE players?" {{champion:150}} "Yeah, basically the same thing. Except they don't get anything for free." {{champion:19}} **"HEY SORAKA, HOW YOU DOIN' GIRL!"** {{champion:16}} "Guard Dog Warwick, I see they got your head freed." {{champion:19}} "Yeah, being stuck in a wall sucks. But at least I can see now. What is with all the angry people in robes?" {{champion:16}} "They are made at Corporate Gnar, what else." {{champion:41}} "**ALRIGHT, BACK UP EVERYONE!** I don't work here, so I really couldn't care less about what you protest. But this is some dangerous construction equipment. We are trying to get these poor guards out of the wall without bringing the whole building down and killing us all. And if any of you mess with my equipment and put the people here in danger. I will personally hunt you down and stick dynamite up your ass. So go protest over there." {{champion:16}} "Wow, he seems intense." {{champion:19}} "He's actually really nice once you get to know him. Oh, here they go with the jackhammers again. I'll talk to you later." {{champion:64}}{{summoner:11}} **"CORPORATE GNAR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR WHAT YOU WANT! HE ONLY CARES ABOUT MONEY! ALSO, HE THINKS YOUR MOMS ARE UGLY!"** {{item:3211}} **"HEY, WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO GET TO CALL OUR MOMS UGLY."** {{champion:150}} "God fist lee sin, **what are you doing?**" {{champion:64}}{{summoner:11}} "Silly infidel, you never learn. Those who worship any god other than me shall suffer. But I am a merciful God. Accept me as your lord and savior and I will make this problem go away." {{champion:150}} "You are in no way close to a god." {{champion:64}}{{summoner:11}} "So be it. **CORPORATE GNAR JUST TOLD ME, HE THINKS YOU ARE ALL UGLY TOO.**" {{item:3211}} "Well, I mean yeah, he's right on that." {{champion:64}} **"ALSO, HE DOESN'T THINK PUGS ARE CUTE!"** {{item:3211}} **"THAT BASTARD!"** {{item:3211}} "How could he say such a thing. They are adorable. What with their squashed in faces, and their big eyes. and all that skin, so much soft wrinkly skin. And that snorting noise they make. **OH MY RITO, I LOVE PUGS SO MUCH.**" _"Faints."_ {{champion:150}} "Oh man, this is starting to get out of hand." {{champion:16}} "Why don't you just make Taliyah free this week and have eleven champions." {{champion:150}} "And admit I made a mistake, hahaha, no." {{item:3211}} **"HE SAID WHAT ABOUT TACOS? I'LL HAVE HIS HEAD FOR THAT!"** {{champion:16}} "Man, God Fist Lee Sin really knows how to get them riled up." {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:16}} "No, they won't really kill him. At least, I don't think so." {{champion:150}} "I have an idea on how to sate them. I don't think Taliyah is going to be enough anymore. I was hoping to not have to do this. But I guess I have no choice." _**Some minutes later, at an announcement podium:**_ {{champion:150}} **"LISTEN UP YOU PSYCHOS!"** {{item:3211}} _"Listens intently."_ {{champion:150}} "I have been listening to your feedback and I have an announcement to make. League has released a lot of champions over the years. And only getting ten of them free each week just wasn't enough anymore. So from now on, ten percent of all champions will be free!" {{item:3211}} "Wait a minute, **THATS STILL TEN!**" {{champion:64}} **"HE'S TRYING TO TRICK YOUR LITTLE MINDS."** {{item:3211}} **"HE CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THAT, GET HIM!"** {{champion:150}} "Dear Rito, you really are that stupid. **TEN PERCENT! SO FOURTEEN CHAMPIONS RIGHT NOW! FIFTEEN LATER!** Also, Taliyah is one of the extra four I just added to this week." {{item:3211}} _"Cheers."_ {{item:3211}} **"WOOHOO!"** {{item:3211}} **"WE WON, WE WON!"** {{item:3211}} **"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY!"** {{item:3211}} **"WE DID IT PUGSY!** {{item:3211}} "You know what, **I'M GETTING A PUG TOO!**" {{item:3211}} **"ME THREE!** {{item:3211}} **"PUGS FOR EVERYONE!"** {{champion:150}} "Corporate Mundo is going to kill me for this." {{champion:64}}{{summoner:11}} "I didn't think he would actually do it. This shall not stop me though. Corporate Gnar and everyone else will bow to me." {{item:3211}} "Here's a pug, **COME JOIN THE PUG PARTY, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**" {{champion:64}}{{summoner:11}} "But first, I can enjoy myself. Come, little creature, let's party."
I hope {{champion:6}} shows up later to destroy everyone who made fun of how ugly he used to be.
: man i would have killed for an omega squad poppy
Poppy's Demacian, she'll get a commando skin.
: Please Riot, keep Swain aged and with a malfunctioning leg!
I also would like Swain to keep his limp, I'm disabled, so having a champ like him be all badass in spite of having difficulty walking is really cool to me. {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-thumbs}}
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Like Trying To Catch Smoke With Your Bare Hands_** _In case you missed it, [here is a link](http://na.leagueoflegends.com/en/news/champions-skins/free-rotation/new-free-champion-rotation-braum-caitlyn-karma-and-more) to last week's teaser._ {{champion:240}} "I'm starting to think you been making a fool of me. We been waiting for this student of yours to come kill us for hours. He better show up soon, because Skaarls getting real hungry and she ain't ever tasted no shadow before." {{champion:238}} _"Gulp."_ "Kayn will come for me, I'm sure." {{champion:240}} "Let's hope, cause I had to pay all my guards over time for this and some have already gone home to see their _"families,"_ cowards. **WHO'S STILL HERE? ROLECALL!**" {{champion:427}} "Guard tree reporting in!" {{champion:19}} "Guard Dog ready to kill!" {{summoner:31}} "Here!" {{champion:98}} "Guard Ninja is still reluctant to do this." {{champion:223}} "Guard Fish just wants a McMuffin." {{champion:266}} "Guard Darkin is bored." {{champion:240}} "Guard Darkin? I don't remember hiring a Guard Darkin." {{champion:89}} "Last month sir, something about wanting the embodiment of war to work for you. You drank quite a bit of mushroom juice." {{champion:240}} "Oh yeah, right." {{champion:33}} "Okay." {{champion:2}} "Guard Viking ready to blow a 5-0 start." {{champion:29}} "Guard Rat could be eating pizza with Corporate Jinx right now." {{champion:107}} "Guard Cat ready to get stabby." {{champion:240}} "Dear Rito, how many guards did I hire?" {{champion:136}} "Guard Dragon wants his pay day." {{champion:31}} "Guard Voidborn ready to feast." {{champion:240}} "Is this why my paychecks recently have only contained about three dollars and fifty cents?" {{champion:89}} "I've tried to tell you this sir." {{champion:48}} "Guard troll here to smash!" {{champion:240}} "Guard Kled ready for blood!" {{champion:240}} **"GUARD KLED?! OH HELL NO, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE KLED IN THIS OFFICE! YOU ARE FIRED"** {{champion:240}} "But, how am I supposed to feed me Skaarl?" {{champion:240}} **"GET, OUT!"** {{champion:240}} "Yes sir." _"Walks out in shame."_ {{champion:3}} "Guard Gargoyle ready and waiting." {{champion:240}} "**ALRIGHT, WE GET IT. STOP THE ROLE CALL!** I need to stop drinking so much mushroom juice." {{champion:106}} "Guard Bear can bearly w- **WAH AH AHHHHHH!**" {{champion:240}} "Hang on, what happened to that one, the bear? Someone, go check on him." {{champion:2}} **"HE'S DEAD! HIS BODY HAS BEEN-"** _"Gets a knife through his head."_ {{champion:240}} "These guards are useless. Leona, remind me to fire most of them so that I stop wasting my money." {{champion:89}} "Can do sir." {{champion:240}} "Also, remind to drink less mushroom juice and to stop making decisions after I down a bottle." {{champion:89}} "I've tried, sir." {{champion:141}} "Give me Zed and all this can be over. Don't, and I will continue to kill you all one by one." {{champion:48}} "How about instead I smash your-" _"A shadow swoops down and breaks his neck."_ {{champion:136}} "I mean, I'm an unstoppable egomaniacal dragon and I think we should give him what he want's before-" _"Just plain dies."_ {{champion:223}} "I have grown bored of this establishment. I am leaving, who wishes to wise up and join me." {{champion:31}} {{champion:19}} {{champion:107}} {{champion:72}} {{champion:58}} {{champion:154}} {{champion:62}} "We do!" {{champion:33}} "Okay." {{champion:29}} "I'm going to get pizza with my owner." _**"They all attempt to walk out of the building. But an explosion of shadows hits them. When it fades away, all that's left are their skeletons."**_ {{champion:240}} "I trained them all on proper spacing. But they weren't listening and look what happened. One grenade aced em." {{champion:141}} "No one leaves until I get what was stolen from me." {{champion:98}} "Stolen? Zed, what is he talking about?!" {{champion:238}} "I don't have the foggiest." {{champion:240}} "Boy, you better start talking or I'ma give you to him." {{champion:238}} "Alright, alright. So the Noxians found an ancient and powerful demon scythe. I sent Kayn to destroy it. A power like that should never be wielded by man. Instead, he did what I told him not to and attempted to control it. But it was too much and I saw he was losing. So I took it while he was asleep and came here. Now he is very very angry." {{champion:98}} "Whats that, a student finds an ancient locked away power. His master warns him not to use it but he does anyway and now the student wants to kill the master. Doesn't this sound at all familiar to you?" {{champion:238}} "No, not really." {{champion:98}} "Really, you don't think this is some sort of cosmic justice for past sins?" {{champion:238}} "What, the thing with your father? This is a completely different situation. I don't even have kids." {{champion:141}} "And you never will be able to after I'm done with you." {{champion:240}} "That's it, quit hiding in the shadows like a damn coward and **COME FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!**" {{champion:141}} "Can't do, guess you will have to come into the shadows with me." {{champion:240}} "Alright, you asked for it. no one can hide from my **CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!**" {{champion:141}} "Now the fun begins." {{champion:240}} "There you are, I've locked on, nothing can stop me now." {{champion:141}} "You sure about that?" _"Phases into wall."_ {{champion:240}} **"OH, WHAT THE-"** "Phases into wall after him." {{champion:141}} "Let's see you get out of there without my shadow step." {{champion:240}} "This doesn't feel right. **GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!**" {{champion:141}} "Now that he's occupied, you boys ready to have some fun?" {{champion:141}} "This is going to be a real party." {{champion:141}} "Of murder." {{champion:141}} "A murder party." {{champion:266}} "You alright there buddy, you seem to be having a stroke or something." {{champion:141}} "Aatrox, oh this is going to be so much fun. You do know the scythe he stole from me is Rhaast." {{champion:266}} 'What, really? Small world after all. But Rhaast is insane, even for me. I ain't letting him take the Darkin spotlight." {{champion:141}} _"Yes, I know, traitors all of them. No, I won't hesitate. Soon, I will have you."_ {{champion:141}} "Now tell me, **WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS!**" _**To be continued:**_
{{champion:222}} is gonna be PISSED when she finds out what happened to her beloved {{champion:29}} !
: Swain skin when?
After his rework. He'll be done sometime after {{champion:28}} , {{champion:6}} and a new champ.
: #A Corporate Matter _**Episode: The Smelly Crusader**_ {{champion:29}} "Uuuuhhh, I'm so tired." _"Lays down on bed."_ {{champion:222}} "Where have you been all night?" {{champion:29}} "Just boring family stuff. You don't need to hear it." {{champion:222}} "Well, what I do need is you to be here to protect me. What if someone broke in, killed me and messed with the lore. Because you weren't here to protect me." {{champion:29}} **"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDS PROTECTION OKAY!"** {{champion:222}} "Whoa, alright. I just get scared and lonely without my Mr. Snuffles." {{champion:29}} "I'm sorry, it's been a long night. Here, let me go get you your morning coffee." {{champion:222}} "Thank you. Make sure you're staying in tonight. Remember, the next season of Supernatural is out on Netflix and I can't wait for you much longer before I start binging." _**Later that night, out on a rooftop:**_ {{champion:29}} "Alright, he was last seen stealing these chemicals. If I know him as well as I think I do. Then he almost certainly plans on crashing the mayor's daughter's 16th birthday party." {{champion:53}} "Ma'am, I have located the target." {{champion:222}} "What did you just call me?" {{champion:53}} "Ma'am." {{champion:222}} "Oh dear Rito. You're right, I'm a ma'am now." {{champion:29}} "Big robot fellow, who are you and what do you want?" {{champion:53}} "Allow me to show you." _"Chest opens up to reveal a tv screen."_ {{champion:222}} "Sweet, it actually works." {{champion:29}} "_Corporate Ji-_ Ahem. Hello, random citizen. Do you have a crime to report today?" {{champion:222}} "Twitchykins, I knew it, you are the Ratman!" {{champion:29}} "I'm afraid I have no idea what it is you are talking about young lady." {{champion:222}} "Don't play games. I would recognize that cute flipped ear anywhere." {{champion:29}} "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to- Oh nevermind. You're too smart for that. Hi boss." {{champion:222}} "Here, take this earpiece so Blitzcrank can go. He charges by the hour." {{champion:29}} "Alright, fine." _"Puts earpiece in."_ {{champion:53}} **"BLITZCRANK, AWAY!"** _"Grapples onto a building and flys away."_ {{champion:29}} "So, how did you know it was me." {{champion:222}} "Really? How did I know you were the Ratman? Only you would choose this ugly shade of blue. It's so 1960s." _**Suddenly, the sky lights up with the silhouette of a piece of cheese.**_ {{champion:29}} "The rat signal! Time to go." _"Begins running and jumping across the rooftops."_ {{champion:222}} "This is so cool, it's like I'm your sidekick. All without having to leave the safety of my closet." _**A few minutes later:**_ {{champion:86}} "Ratman, we have to act quickly!" {{champion:29}} "Commissioner Garen, what's wrong?" {{champion:86}} "It's the jester. He crashed the mayor's daughter's birthday party." {{champion:29}} "The mayor's daughter's 16th birthday party?" {{champion:86}} "Yep, the mayor's daughter's 16th birthday party." {{champion:29}} "I knew it. There was no way a psycho like him could avoid crashing the mayor's daughter's 16th birthday party." {{champion:86}} "Well, he's got everyone held at gunpoint and is planning on releasing those missing vats of chemicals in the whole ballroom." {{champion:29}} "What is the rest of the police force doing?" {{champion:86}} "They all went to the party. You are the only one who can save the day." {{champion:29}} "Then I'm on it. Wait, why didn't you go to the party?" {{champion:86}} "In this world, there are two kinds of people. Those who dance, and those who do not. I've never been much of a dancer. Now go, ride like the wind Ratman!" _**Over at the mayor's daughter's 16th birthday party:**_ {{champion:35}} "Soon, I will release these chemicals. Then you will all be as toxic to League as I am. Hahahahaha!" {{champion:79}} "Please do what you want to me. But leave my daughter alone." {{champion:35}} "No can do. This is her party, so she will be the queen she deserves to be. Now come here pretty!" {{champion:81}} "Hey, let me go!" {{champion:79}} "What are you doing with my son." {{champion:35}} "This isn't the birthday girl?" {{champion:81}} "No! She's over there." {{champion:55}} "Oh great, thanks for telling him." {{champion:35}} "Alright, now that I have the right girl. We are almost ready to begin." {{champion:55}} "Let me go, you ugly monster." {{champion:35}} "Ugly? You wanna know how I got these scars? There I was, minding my own business. Just farming a lane all to myself. When suddenly, an exclamation point pops up over my head. Then out of nowhere, I get one shot by a cat with knives. Never in my life had I seen something so toxic. But now, it's time for the party to really start. And no one can stop me!" {{champion:29}} "That's where you're wrong!" {{champion:35}} "Oh no, the Ratman. You might be able to stop me, but can you stop a speeding bullet." _**"Bang!"**_ {{champion:29}} "That's cheating." _"Gets shot, falls down and stops moving."_ {{champion:35}} "Wait, did he just die? I killed him, **I WON!**" {{champion:55}} **"RATMAN, NOOOOOOO!"** {{champion:35}} "**I FEEL, I FEEL,** empty. What am I supposed to do now? What's the point in trying to kill thousands if no ones trying to stop me. How can there be a villain without a hero? I never thought he could actually die. What have I done." {{champion:79}} "You are a monster." {{champion:35}} "Do I even have a purpose now? Ratman, please don't be dead. Come on, wake up." {{champion:29}} _"Need, stinky, moldy, cheese. To, regain my, strength."_ {{champion:222}} "I knew you weren't dead! **OH, I PACKED SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE CHEESE IN YOUR VINTAGE LUNCH BOX!**" {{champion:29}} "Thanks, Oracle, omnomnom." {{champion:222}} "What?" {{champion:29}} **"HAHA! NOTHING CAN STOP THE RATMAN!"** {{champion:35}} "You're alive? **OH THANK RITO!**" {{champion:29}} "That is right. And now you are going to do some cold hard time. You deranged unpowered wacko." {{champion:222}} "Holy burnt clown Ratman!" {{champion:29}} _"What?"_ {{champion:222}} "Sorry, had to say it." {{champion:35}} "Oh yes, please. Take me away, throw the book at me. Before I do something I'm going to regret forever." _**A few minutes later. After everyone has been arrested and taken away:**_ {{champion:55}} "Thank you so much for saving me." {{champion:29}} "Just another day in the life of Ratman, citizen." {{champion:222}} "So you did it, you caught the villain, saved the day and got shot. If you want my writers opinion, now seems like a perfect time to retire." {{champion:29}} "One can never retire from this life." {{champion:222}} "Then just take a half retirement. Only come out when you get bored. Or there is no one else to save the day." {{champion:29}} "But, the city needs me to find and stop the villains." {{champion:222}} "Well, Sam and Dean need you to find out what happens next." {{champion:29}} "I guess you're right." {{champion:222}} "You'll stop doing this every night and spend some more time with me again?" {{champion:29}} "Yeah." {{champion:222}} "Yeah?" {{champion:29}} "Yeah!" {{champion:222}} "That's my boy. Come on back, I'll order us an extra cheesy pizza."
I love these two together like this{{champion:222}} {{champion:29}} . I hope {{champion:27}} shows up as Bane at some point.
: I haven't played Xayah yet, nor have I played the game in a while in general. Can you fill me in on how she's racist? Just wondering 'cause I'm /r/OutOfTheLoop
> [{quoted}](name=LordSirChipmunk,realm=NA,application-id=Ag8jgd8Q,discussion-id=fm5o2WOo,comment-id=000000030000,timestamp=2017-04-29T18:13:33.439+0000) > > I haven't played Xayah yet, nor have I played the game in a while in general. Can you fill me in on how she's racist? Just wondering 'cause I'm /r/OutOfTheLoop She literally calls {{champion:103}} a "race traitor" in-game for having the audacity to want to become human.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _I'm holding ooooonnnnnn, why is everything so edgy_** {{champion:498}} "I told you we should have stopped and asked for directions." {{champion:497}} "No, trust me. I know exactly where we are going. Wait a minute, I think this map is upside down." {{champion:498}} "Screw this! I am going to find Shen and let him take me to Zed's castle. You enjoy getting lost in the woods." {{champion:497}} "Baby, don't be like that. Come on, we are almost there, I promise. Baby? **HEY, WAIT FOR ME, I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE!**" {{champion:498}} "I don't think I said you could come with me." {{champion:497}} "Alright, I'm sorry. We should have asked for directions. You are always right. But I can't let you go through this Raptor camp without me." {{champion:498}} "Wonderful, more annoying little sh-" {{champion:10}} **"FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I'LL BAN YOU FOR INAPPROPRIATE LANGAUGE!"** {{champion:498}} "What the, who are, how did, why a-" {{champion:10}} "I'm Corporate Kayle. I'm always watching." {{champion:498}} "So you are telling me I can't say s-" {{champion:10}} "Nope! That is against the Summoner's code and will get you banned, by me." {{champion:498}} "But Kled says it!" {{champion:10}} "Nope, it's censored on him." {{champion:498}} "What the hell, why not just censor me?" {{champion:10}} "Because Kled is supposed to be a funny angry old man. You are an edgy teenage girl and don't get any comedy." {{champion:498}} "The patriarchy strikes again." {{champion:10}} "Excuse you? I'm the one that decided it and I'm a Woman." {{champion:498}} "You are?" {{champion:10}} "_I need to stop wearing a pantsuit._ **YES I'M A WOMAN!**" {{champion:498}} "Well, you are a bitch of one." {{champion:10}} **"OH, YOU ARE ASKING TO BE BANNED NOW!"** {{champion:497}} "Alright Xayah, Corporate Kayle, just calm down. Xayah, let's just leave. You don't need to be that edgy." {{champion:498}} "Okay, The next one to call me edgy is getting choked to death." {{champion:10}} "Oh, that will get you way more than a temp ban." {{champion:498}} "Well here's what I think of your stupid bans." _"Does a rather rude gesture with her finger."_ {{champion:10}} "That does it." _**A SUMMONER HAS BEEN BANNED!**_ {{champion:497}} **"WHAT THE HELL! BRING HER BACK RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME-"** _**A SUMMONER HAS BEEN BANNED!**_ {{champion:10}} "Alright, if you two promise to be good. I'll let you out with just a chat restriction." _**Poof!**_ {{champion:498}} "..." {{champion:497}} "..." {{champion:10}} "I don't care if you have to go fight Zed. You can do it without saying a single word. Besides, him and his clan are serving their own restriction." {{champion:498}} _"Shrugs and gestures for Rakan to follow her."_ {{champion:497}} _"Follows right along, fabulously."_ {{champion:10}} "You did it, Corporate Kayle, League is now a better place. Yay me." _"High fives herself."_ _(I just have to mention the irony that the spam bots downvoted last week's post into **OBLIVION!**)_
I'd like Xayah more if she weren't so racist. {{sticker:slayer-jinx-unamused}}
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Randomonium_** {{champion:16}} "Sorry I'm late boss, I got- What the hell?" {{champion:10}} "No, this is so wrong. I'm supposed to lock up the toxic people. Not let them out." {{champion:16}} "Corporate Kayle? What are you doing here?" {{champion:10}} "It's Corporate Mundo. He decided he needed to be even more random than usual. So he picked all our names out of a hat. Then assigned us to one of the jobs around here. Which means I get to be in charge of the free rotation. According to Corporate Gnar's logs, which are covered in Elixir stains, Taliyah, Cho'Gath, and Kled haven't been free in forever. **AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH BUTTON MAKES THEM FREE!**" {{champion:16}} "Oh, those ones are actually broken." {{champion:10}} **"WHY!"** {{champion:267}} "Lucky, you came in late and don't have to switch jobs." {{champion:16}} "Nami! You're the replacement for Sona?" {{champion:267}} "Also, I'm apparently the same species are Ahri and Wukong now. Cause that makes sense." {{champion:16}} "So one of my- Wait, what? Nevermind, that's weird. So one of my best friends has temporarily replaced my least favorite person as my coworker? **CAN WE MAKE THIS PERMANENT, PLEASE!**" {{champion:10}} "**NOOOOOOO!** I loved my old job." {{champion:16}} "By the way, where is Guard Dog Warick's replacement?" {{champion:222}} "Under here." {{champion:16}} "Corporate Jinx, you are supposed to be protecting us, not hiding under your desk." {{champion:222}} "I write lore, pet my guard rat and eat pizza. I did not sign up to risk my life for others. I can't handle that much responsibility or social interaction. So screw you people, I'm staying under here until I can go back to my closet." {{champion:10}} _"Returns from the cage of freedom room."_ "They complain worse than the people I perma ban. How can anyone hear themselves think in there? Dear Rito, please jus-" {{champion:64}} {{summoner:11}} "**ENOUGH!** Rito this, Rito that. I have heard just about enough of Rito. Where is he, I don't see him or any proof that he even exists. No, it is time you all worshiped a true god. Someone real, someone who can and will fight. From now on you all praise me, God Fist lee Sin. And only my name shall be said in vain." {{champion:36}} "No, this random time. You not God right now, you get random role. You role is janitor." {{champion:64}} {{summoner:11}} **"I HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY BEAT EVERY MARTIAL ARTIST MASTER ALIVE, TWICE! I CARVED A MOUNTAIN IN THE SHAPE OF MY FACE. I COULD KILL YOU WITH THE SNAP OF MY FINGER. I AM A GOD AND I WILL BE RESPECTED!"** {{champion:36}} "Corporate Mundo no scared. Me think you look funny with giant forehead. Now take broom and sweep or me fire you." {{champion:64}} {{summoner:11}} **"THIS IS NOT THE LAST YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME!"** _"Begins sweeping and cleaning up trash."_ {{champion:267}} "Nice one man! But, where did you show up from?" {{champion:36}} "Me show up randomly, me also leave randomly." _"Disappears."_ _**"Meanwhile:"**_ {{champion:150}} "Oh dear Rito." {{champion:64}} {{summoner:11}} _"Gets triggered off in distance."_ {{champion:150}} "I just realized that my whole office is now being run by Women. It's only a matter of time before they are all at each others hair." {{champion:37}} **"!!!"** _"Shoots power cord at Corporate Gnar."_ {{champion:150}} "What was that for?" {{champion:64}} "Stop worrying Gnarly, I need you focused if you are going to be the Guard Gargoyle. Besides, your job is so easy, I'm sure even a non-corporate woman like Kayle can handle it." {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:64}} "No she isn't, girls can't be corporates." {{champion:37}} **"!!!"** _"Shoots power cord at Corporate Lee Sin."_ {{champion:64}} "Alright alright, here's your darn Elixir. I think her getting Corporate Mundo's job has gone to her head." {{champion:150}} "I hate this. I hate the way you look in Ezreal's Secretary outfit. I hate the fact that Guard Gargoyle Galio's outfit is so big I fit inside his hat. I hate that I currently work for Sona. When does this end." {{champion:36}} "At a random time. Just like this story."
I need more of Introvert {{champion:222}} and her pet rat {{champion:29}} !
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Honey, I Shrunk The Corporates_** {{champion:16}} "You know, it sure is a nice day today. Peaceful, quiet, calm. Wouldn't you say so, boss?" {{champion:150}} _**"What are you doing!"**_ {{champion:96}} "I dare say she's right. It is splendid day today, not much happening." {{champion:150}} "What is going on with you two. Are you bored or something? You know what don't mention how great of a day it is. Otherwi-" {{champion:17}} **"I, CORPORATE TEEMO, HAVE COME TO TAKE MY JOB BACK!"** {{champion:150}} "SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS! YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN OMEGA SQUAD TEEMO!" {{champion:17}} "That's what you think. Corporate Mundo may not hire me while you are around. And I can't seem to kill you. But if he couldn't find you, well then he would have no choice but to hire me." {{champion:19}} **"INTRUDER! DIRE SATAN INCARNATE!"** {{champion:17}} _"Zap!"_ "Yeah, that's not going to happen." {{champion:16}} "Oh dear Rito, he's killed him." {{champion:17}} "No, I didn't kill him I just. Here, let me show you." _"Zap zap zap."_ {{champion:150}} "Ughhhh, are we dead?" {{champion:96}} "Where's Sona when you need her." {{champion:16}} "Guys, does Omega Squad Teemo look bigger to you?" {{champion:17}} #"THAT'S RIGHT, I HAVE SHRUNK YOU DOWN TO MINISCULE SIZE. NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM GETTING THIS JOB. I'LL BE ON MY WAY TO TALK TO CORPORATE MUNDO. HAHAHAHA!" {{champion:150}} "Luckily there is construction going on in his way. So he will have to take the long way around. We can take a shortcut through the Corporate Daycare. There's a hole in my floor which leads right to it." {{champion:19}} "Wait, it could dangerous. I should go first." _"Jumps in hole."_ {{champion:19}} **"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DEAR RITO. OH HELL NO, STAY BACK. PLEASE DON'T. YO-"** _"Incoherent screaming."_ {{champion:150}} "Well, seems safe enough. Besides, getting fired is much worse than death. Let's go gang." _**All three of them jump in the hole:**_ {{champion:150}} "Ow! I think I landed on my spleen." {{champion:16}} "I'll get that for you." {{champion:12}} "Psssst." {{champion:96}} "What was that?" {{champion:58}} "Get in here before it notices you." {{champion:150}} "Before what ge-" {{champion:96}} _**"Sniffs air."**_ {{champion:150}} **"OH DEAR RITO. QUICK, HID BY THE COW IN A COW SUIT!"** {{champion:96}} **"WOOF WOOF!"** They hide behind an old water heater. Inside are Moo Cow Alistar, Renektoy, and Super Kennen. Gathered around a pilot light that they are using as a campfire. {{champion:150}} **"WHAT WAS THAT THING!"** {{champion:96}} "Black sheep of the family, I'm afraid." {{champion:58}} "We call it Pug'Maw. It has been the bain of our society for countless lifetimes. Super Kennen, sing him the song of our people." {{champion:12}} _"Bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk....."_ {{champion:85}} "Hurry, hurry, lift the lid, Let’s go play without that kid, Scamper ‘round and horse about, Before ol’ Pug’Maw finds us out! Hurry, hurry, get his ball, Bounce it up and down the hall, Time is short, there is no doubt, That ol’ Pug’Maw will find out! Hurry, hurry, grab your things, Don’t wait for his slobb’ry sting, Back inside the box — don’t pout, That ol’ Pug’Maw found us out!" {{champion:96}} "He really does have a beautiful voice." {{champion:150}} "So this is nice and all. But I need to get to Corporate Mundo's office real soon. And that thing is in the way." {{champion:12}} "It is an impossible task. Nothing gets past that thing's nose." {{champion:96}} "How about this, old chap. You help us get to the Corporate Mundo. And when he fixes us, we will remove Pug'Maw from these lands, once and for all." {{champion:12}} "It won't matter, trying is suicide. We'll never make it." {{champion:58}} "My brother would have wanted us to try. Action Nasus, with real stacking action. He would have wanted us to risk our lives. So that future generations didn't have to suffer the same fate he did." {{champion:85}} "I agree with Renektoy. I'll gladly die in the name of a better tomorrow." {{champion:12}} "Alright, fine. **LETS RIDE OUT!**" _**They charge out, running to the other side of the room.**_ {{champion:96}} **"TOYS!"** {{champion:12}} "All of us will never make it. I'll distract him. You guys make it to the door." {{champion:85}} "But, Moo Cow, he'll tear you to pieces." {{champion:12}} "You guys were right. Our lives mean nothing compared to the ones we could save. **NOW GO, AND DON'T LOOK BACK!**" {{champion:16}} **"YOUR SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN, BRAVE SOLDIER!"** {{champion:12}} **"Bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk!"** {{champion:96}} **"Woof, rawr!"** _"Grabs Moo Cow Alistar with his mouth."_ {{champion:12}} "Ugh, it smells terrible in here." _"Gets torn to shreds, like a used napkin."_ {{champion:150}} **"I KNEW LETTING PETS IN THE DAYCARE WAS A BAD IDEA!"** {{champion:85}} "There still isn't enough time. Keep going, I'll hold him off." {{champion:96}} **"PLAY!"** {{champion:85}} **"HHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"** _"Leaps at Pug'Maw, charged up with static electricity."_ {{champion:96}} _"Licks Super Kennen out of the air."_ {{champion:58}} "May you rest forever in toy heaven." {{champion:150}} "We are almost there." {{champion:96}} "I don't mean to alarm you chaps. But I have lost sight of the beast." {{champion:16}} "Maybe it gave up?" {{champion:58}} "Pug'Maw does not-" {{champion:96}} _"Grabs Renektoy in his mouth."_ {{champion:150}} **"OH DEAR RITO!"** {{champion:58}} "Werf." _"Gets bitten in half."_ {{champion:16}} "We made it!" {{champion:150}} "Corporate Mundo's office is right this way." _**They make it to Corporate Mundo's office, climb up his legs and get by his ear.**_ {{champion:96}} "Now I see why they call him the big boss." {{champion:150}} **"Boss, I'm not gone. Don't listen to Corporate Teemo!"** {{champion:36}} "Oh no, voice be back In Corporate Mundo's head. **EZREAL SERVANT, YOU SAY YOU GET RID OF VOICES!**" {{champion:150}} **"I'M NOT ANOTHER MANEFESTION OF YOUR INSANITY. I'M JUST TINY CORPORATE GNAR!"** {{champion:36}} "Oh, hehahaheh. That very good. You say Corporate Teemo here?" {{champion:150}} "Yeah, has he not been to see you yet?" _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:17}} **"WHY IS CONSTRUCTION SO SLOW, MOVE IT, FASTER! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"** _**Back at Corporate Mundo's Office:**_ {{champion:150}} "Well, if he shows up, don't listen to his lies. And please find a way to turn us back." {{champion:16}} "Wait, guys. I think we forgot about Guard Dog Warwick!" _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:1}} "There, now you look so pretty and sweet. Just like my gwandma." {{champion:19}} "Please stop, I'm not a toy I am a grown wolfman! Where are my friends when I need them."
We now need an Action Nasus skin (with real Stacking action!).
: Academy Adventures Series 2!
Fiddlesticks is drawn so adorable in these comics.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _The Not So Great Escape_** {{champion:3}} "Alright, in order to get us out of here. I am going to need a couple of items. Here's a list, you three go! Corporate Lee Sin, you need to get me the most important item. That guy's sword." {{champion:266}} "Doo dee doo dee doo. Just minding my own business, building lifesteal, being slightly underpowered." {{champion:64}} "His sword? Why do you need his sword?" {{champion:3}} "I just do, get it quickly or we aren't getting out of here." _**Various items collected later:**_ {{champion:3}} "Alright, now we need to get in there." {{champion:113}} "The lunch lady room?" {{champion:3}} "It's really a lunch space bus. It can fly us out of here. Follow me, there is a back door over here. With that hexadergul you got, I can get it open." _"Unlocks door."_ {{champion:154}} "Sweet, escaping and getting lunch at the same time." {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:3}} "So, I had a few ideas about my big rework." {{champion:64}} "Look man, we'll burn that bridge when we get to it. Just get this thing moving." {{champion:154}} "Why would we burn bridges? Wouldn't that prevent us from escaping?" {{champion:64}} "What? No, it's an expression and. **CAN WE JUST GET OUT OF HERE!**" {{champion:3}} "Fine, just make sure I'm cooler than that new Yorick. I'll need a few minutes to get this thing running." {{champion:64}} "Uhm, why are there a bunch of guys pointing guns at our lunch bus?" {{champion:113}} "There must have been a silent alarm on the door. Or one of them was actually watching the security footage." {{champion:64}} **"OH, THANKS GALIO! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO GET SHOT TO PIECES! SO THANK YOU FOR THIS!"** {{champion:154}} "You should really see a professional if you are having suicidal thoughts." {{champion:64}} **"OKAY, WHAT IS THIS GUY'S PROBLEM?"** {{champion:3}} "His race takes everything literally. Any kind of expression or sarcasm goes right through him." {{champion:154}} "Nothing can go through me, it would get stuck." {{champion:3}} _"sigh."_ {{champion:113}} "Hate to interrupt this cultural lesson, but the men with guns are getting closer." {{champion:3}} "Alright I got the defense lasers up. Now I just **MASS TAUNT!**" The lasers rip the guards to shreds as they try in vain to shoot through the bullet proof glass. {{champion:64}} "What kind of lunch bus is this?" {{champion:3}} "A badass one. Let's go." {{champion:150}} **"WAIT FOR ME!!!!!!"** {{champion:64}} "Gnarly?" {{champion:150}} **"STOP THE BUS, TAKE ME WITH YOU PLEASE!"** {{champion:64}} "Hold it, that's Corporate Gnar. Let him on." {{champion:3}} "Alright, but if he gets me killed. Nobody would really care because most people forget I exist." {{champion:150}} _"Huff huff huff."_ "Thanks, I thought I would be stuck there forever." {{champion:64}} "Gnarly, how did you end up here?" {{champion:150}} "It's a complicated. For some reason, all the Gangplanks think I'm their only friend. It gets really irritating sometimes. When I went off on Dreadnova Gangplank, he locked me up here. Let's just go back to Runeterra." {{champion:3}} "I heard that." {{champion:64}} "Wait, what about the sword I got from Aatrox?" {{champion:3}} "Oh, that. I was only joking about getting that, hahaha." {{champion:64}} "But, but, but he forced me to give him a rework before he would give it to me." {{champion:3}} "What use could I possibly have for a bendy sword?" {{champion:150}} "Hahaha, get rekt." {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:154}} **"HAHAHAHAHA, HE MADE YOU THINK THAT WE NEEDED IT AND YOU PAID A PRICE TO GET IT! AND NOW YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"** {{champion:113}} {{champion:3}} {{champion:150}} {{champion:154}} "Hahahahahaha." {{champion:64}} "We will see how much you are are laughing after you see your reworks." _"Throws sword out the window, back into the prison."_ _A little bit later:_ {{champion:41}} "You wanted to speak to me?" {{champion:266}} "Yes, I want to work for you?" {{champion:41}} "Really? most would consider that worse than being locked up here." {{champion:266}} "I too have been scorned by Corporate Lee Sin. **FOR YEARS HE HAS IGNORED ME! NOW I FORCE HIM TO GIVE ME A REWORK AND I TURN OUT WORSE THAN POST NERF AZIR! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! LET ME GO, I'LL KILL HIM BEFORE HE HITS GROUND AGAIN!**" {{champion:41}} "I like your gumption. Alright, welcome to me crew. Bring me Corporate Lee Sin's head." (Ask and you shall receive. the website is ready for you guys to take a look. Just head on over to [acorporatematter.com](http://www.acorporatematter.com/) and enjoy. Right now only seasons 1, 2 and 3 are on there. We also had a news page, but it's currently on fire. If you have any suggestions or see anything wrong that's not on the to-do list. Please send me a message on twitter @SirDellron or send me an email at dellron@acorporatematter.com I'm really excited to see what you guys think. To-do list: Get the news page working. Add an about and characters page. Get real adds instead of placeholder ones. Add seasons 4 and 5. Mess with the font, including fixing the font/color on really big text and links. Numerous cosmetic changes. Get the strike through to work. Make the mobile site good.)
YES! IT LIVES! {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-rainbows}}
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Upseting Space Dictators Is Usually A Bad Idea_** {{champion:64}} "And so then I says to 'em, botlane Ziggs is great cause it means more variety. And then they just stopped complaining, hahahahaha." {{champion:110}} "Corporate Lee Sin, you are under arrest!" {{champion:64}} "I'm gonna need to call you back. Under arrest? For what reason!" {{champion:110}} "gross negligence of your job. It's your job to balance the league of legends. If this is what you call balanced, I'm afraid you belong in much worse places than where I am taking you." {{champion:64}} "_Damn, he actually has a valid reason._ You think you can bring me in on your own?" {{champion:110}} "Well, thanks to you I can build full lethality. **TRY ME!**" {{champion:64}} "Alright alright, I'm coming. What kind of police department hires a Darkstar anyways?" {{champion:110}} "Oh, I'm not police. I work for Dreadnova Gangplank. We are going to his space prison. Come, my bow shall open a black hole that leads there." {{champion:64}} "Open a black hole? That doesn't sound very- ahh AHH **AHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" _"Gets sucked in."_ {{champion:41}} "Ahhh, Corporate Lee Sin, glad you could make it." {{champion:64}} "Well, lethality is overpowered. So I didn't get much of a choice." {{champion:41}} "**AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT!!!** You are going to be imprisoned here for all eternity. Maybe then they will find someone to balance the game that actually knows what he is doing." {{champion:64}} "I don't understand why you seem to be taking this so personally?" {{champion:41}} "Really? You have no idea? **NAME ONE THING ABOUT ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T NERFED IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF!**" {{champion:64}} "Well there was, I didn't, no. Okay, I'm coming up blank." {{champion:41}} "Okay, how about an easy question. Name one buff you have given me since my rework. Any buff at all." {{champion:64}} _"Th-th-there isn't any."_ {{champion:41}} "What's that? speak up." {{champion:64}} **"I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU ANY BUFFS SINCE THE REWORK."** {{champion:41}} **"AND FOR THAT YOU WILL ROT IN THIS PRISON!"** {{champion:64}} "Now Planky, we can talk about this. Just send me back, I'll buff any part of you that you want. It wouldn't be the first time I screwed up balance for personal gain." {{champion:41}} "**YOU CAN'T TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE!** I can ensure that your replacement gets me my buffs. No, I'm imprisoning you here for revenge, nothing more. Take him away, Darkstars." _**A brief walk through the prison later:**_ {{champion:412}} "Here, go in the food court with the other scum from this block. And don't even try and think about escaping. I helped build this prison out of a dead star. No one gets out." _"Throws Corporate Lee Sin in the room."_ {{champion:19}} "Look, fresh meat." {{champion:48}} ""Hey there, pretty boy. How about I take you back to my room and show you who runs this cell block." {{champion:3}} "Well, it sure ain't you." {{champion:48}} "Is that so? You wanna feel my pillar too?" {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:48}} "What, is he your friend?" {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai!" {{champion:3}} "I'd listen to him. I once saw him blast a man's skull clean off, with just one Q." {{champion:48}} "This ain't over little guy." {{champion:64}} "You didn't need to do that. I could have handled him." {{champion:3}} "Sure thing kid. Come Maokai, let's go get some food." {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:64}} "So I have heard." {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:64}} "You are a true poet." {{champion:3}} "Look, he no es speak nice like we. His vocabulary consists of I and am and Maokai. Exclusively in that order." _"Sits down at table with food."_ {{champion:113}} "Oh, hey there Galio." {{champion:154}} "Who is this puny human you have brought?" {{champion:3}} "That's Corporate Lee Sin. He's the guy in charge of balance." {{champion:64}} "How do you know who I am? I have tried my best to pretend that Galio doesn't exist." {{champion:3}} "I'm a Gargoyle, I see and know all." {{champion:64}} "So, what's our escape plan? I don't think this place has my brand of hair gel, and I can't be seen in public without it." {{champion:3}} "Yeah, we aren't breaking out." {{champion:64}} "What, but this is a prison. Every hero always has a plan to break out of prison." {{champion:113}} "Hate to break it to you, but we aren't heroes. We are in prison for a reason after all." {{champion:154}} "It is very nice here. I get to arm wrestle anyone I want. And I get daily meals full of protein. Which is great for a growing boy like me." {{champion:64}} "Do I wanna know where all that protein comes from?" {{champion:3}} "No you do not, sometimes it's not great seeing all." {{champion:64}} "Okay, how about this. You four have all fallen by the wayside. How about I do a tank update and get just you guys in it." {{champion:113}} "You mean like what you did to Malzahar or Mordekaiser? No thanks, I like myself the way I am." {{champion:64}} "No no, I have gotten better at it since then. Besides, you always come out Overpowered and people play you a ton." {{champion:57}} "I am Maokai." {{champion:154}} "If he's in, then so am I." {{champion:113}} "Fine." {{champion:3}} "I'll do it, but I want more than a class update. I want a full VGU. And I want it soon. I'm tired of looking at this ugly thing staring back at me in the mirror." {{champion:64}} "Deal! Now what's the plan?" {{champion:3}} "I'm sure I will think of something." _**To be continued:**_ _(So I have had more delays than I can count. But I can say that the website is nearly ready to launch. I will get it done sometime this week, and will officially launch it next Monday. I am truly sorry it has been taking this long. I have had a much busier month than I anticipated. But unless I get hit by a truck, this thing will be ready next week.)_
"But unless I get hit by a truck" Don't {{champion:222}} yourself, man!
: A blood moon is rising.
Blood Moon {{champion:84}} splash looks so out of place.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Don't try and change who you are. Unless you're changing it to Batman_** {{champion:19}} "My parents are dead, I am all alone in a city that doesn't care who you are. A city that is Rife with crime. a city that needs someone who can clean it up. That's where I come in. Me and my trusty butler are going to put a stop to the crime in this city. Once and for all!" {{champion:150}} "I'm your boss, not your butler." {{champion:19}} **"WELL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ACCENT! AND IF I'M GOING TO BE BATMAN I'M GOING TO NEED A BUTLER!"** {{champion:150}} "You're a guard dog, not Batman." {{champion:16}} "Sorry to say, but with Warwick's lore. I don't think anyone is going to think of you as batman. I mean, you are kind of a jerk." {{champion:17}} "Kind of? Girl, he pretended to love you in order to rip your heart out. Just so he could be better at kidnapping people to be experimented on." {{champion:19}} "And every day I apologize for what that Warwick did to her. {{champion:16}} "And I understand that that was a different Warwick then you. But I don't know if everyone else will enough for you to be batman." {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:19}} "You guys just don't understand! I'LL BE BATMAN, YOU'LL SEE!" _"Runs away crying."_ {{champion:16}} "Sona, why do you have to crush people's happiness and spirit like that?" _**A little while later:**_ {{champion:36}} **"WAHHH, EZREAL SERVANT. WHY IS SCARY DOG MAN IN OFFICE?"** {{champion:81}} "That's Guard Dog Warwick sir, he works for us. He said he had something important to ask you." {{champion:36}} "Ah, Corporate Mundo see. You not ask for raise, right?" {{champion:19}} "Who writes the lore?" {{champion:36}} "What you say, doggy person?" {{champion:19}} "Who writes the lore for League of Legends? I need to make a few changes." {{champion:36}} "Aw, that be Corporate Jinx." {{champion:81}} "What, we don't have a Corporate Jinx." {{champion:36}} "Yes, Corporate Mundo hire her to write good story for angry players. She no like people and stays along in her closet. But maybe doggo she like more." {{champion:81}} "Boss, are you having an episode again?" {{champion:36}} "No, me just want watch favorite sport game. Best player Tom Brady is win game!" {{champion:81}} "Sir, it's over half time and they only have 3 points. The other team has 28. This game is over." {{champion:36}} "No no no, Corporate Mundo see future. They win, trust in boss." {{champion:81}} "Yeah yeah sure. And next thing you know Galio will be getting a rework. Come on sir, we know this stuff ain't happening. Follow me, you need to take your medicine. Sorry about him, he gets like this sometimes." {{champion:19}} "It's alright, I can smell her now." _"Runs away."_ _**A minute later:**_ {{champion:19}} **"MAKE ME BATMAN!"** {{champion:222}} **"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"** {{champion:19}} "Oh sorry, my bad. Make me batman please." {{champion:222}} **"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"** {{champion:19}} "Please stop screaming, I'm sorry." {{champion:222}} **"I'M AN INTROVERT, I WORK IN A CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS FOR A REASON! YOU DON'T JUST COME BARGING IN HERE ASKING TO BE SOME COPYRIGHTED SUPERHERO!"** {{champion:19}} "I'm sorry. Can you help me, pretty please?" {{champion:222}} "Awwwww, you are so cute. Alright, what do you want?" {{champion:19}} "I'm tired of all us Warwicks getting a bad name. Hated by all for being nothing more than a bounty hunter. Most of us are actually man's best friend. I want you to change our lore so we're Batman!" {{champion:222}} "Well I can't just rip-off Batman, pretty sure Black Panther already did that. Besides, Batman doesn't kill people." {{champion:19}} "Oh right, that's a problem. **BATMAN IF HE WAS WOLVERINE!**" {{champion:222}} "Now that's something I can work with. Give me a few minutes." {{champion:19}} "So, how do you like working here?" {{champion:222}} "It's great. I mean, the lore was a mess when I came on board. But after I got rid of a few stupid things. Like the institute of war, the League of Legends. And basically everything the game was based on. I got it to be pretty good. Definitely a step up from where I was. I used to just be a fanfic writer for League. Then they made me the actual writer. And people say I'm crazy." {{champion:19}} "Oh, for my new lore. Can you make Soraka not my enemy? Make it Singed instead. I don't know why it made us friends before. That guy creeps me out." {{champion:222}} "Yeah, he so old and freaky looking." {{champion:19}} "You seem much saner than the other Jinxs." {{champion:222}} "Oh, you haven't read the fanfiction I still write on the side. I channel all my cray cray into there. Trust me, it would make even the other Jinxs sick." {{champion:19}} "I'll take your word for it." {{champion:222}} "Aaaaaannnnd done. Your new lore in finished. Warwick is now the mutant vigilante bent on cleaning up the streets of Zaun by any means necessary. I also added that he was an unwilling test subject, taken by Singed. As a little reversal of what he used to do." {{champion:19}} "And now I return to my constant vigil, awaiting yet another crime. It's up to me to protect this city. Because with great power, comes great re-" {{champion:222}} "Come on man, you can't just rip-off every superhero." _(Alright, so I didn't get as much time to work on the website this week as I had hoped. Also, making a website is harder than tv made it seem. But I am making good progress. It's starting to look really nice. I'll let you guys know how it's progressing next week.)_
Introverted Jinx is something that I never knew I wanted. Also Corporate Mundo being a Tom Brady fan.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _The Do's And Don'ts Of Protesting_** _In case you missed it, I posted a teaser [here](http://na.leagueoflegends.com/en/news/champions-skins/free-rotation/new-free-champion-rotation-braum-diana-jhin-and-more) last week._ {{champion:86}} "Hear ye hear ye. Make way for the Lunar Reval Parade!" {{champion:81}} **"BOOO!"** {{champion:268}} "Yes, it is I, your glorious leader. Please, everyone, bow down and cheer for me. For it is the year of the rooster, and I am him." {{champion:164}} "Cheer for you? We should be stopping you." {{champion:268}} "Peasant, protesting my rule is unsportsmanlike and just plain salty." {{champion:10}} "Did someone say unsportsmanlike? **ALRIGHT, WHO NEEDS THE BANHAMMER?**" {{champion:164}} **"NO PLEASE, I'M SORRY. PLAYERS JUST STARTED BANNING ME LESS THAN 100% OF THE TIME."** {{champion:163}} "He's working for the corporates. They are enforcing his rule, they must have him in their pocket." {{champion:268}} "That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. I do what I want, say what I want and no one can stop me. There is no conspiracy, I am the rooster for the next twelve years. Anyone who disagrees can get deported to the other side of my Emperor's Divide." {{champion:254}} "Unfortunately, that is completely true." {{champion:245}} "Well, you're not my rooster. **COME ON, WHO'S WITH ME? NOT MY ROOSTER!**" {{champion:91}} **"NOT MY ROOSTER!"** {{champion:17}} **"NOT MY ROOSTER!"** {{champion:81}} "Anivia should have been this year's rooster." {{champion:268}} "Anivia was corrupt. She was a Blackfrost, can't you dumbos see that? I plan on having her arrested as soon as I find her. But like the criminal she is, she has vanished and all we could find is this stupid green square with her name on it." {{champion:34}} "Meep." {{champion:86}} "I think maybe we should take away his ability to talk to the people. He is only making things worse." {{champion:268}} "I am so glad all of you showed up to celebrate my amazingness this is the biggest most hugest crowd of any parade. I am simply the best, and you all recognize it." {{champion:254}} "Yeah, you might be right." {{champion:91}} "You know what, I can't take it. I shall sacrifice my own life to take yours. Maybe then Runterra will still have a shot." {{champion:268}} "You sure about that? Because then Valor, my Vice-Chicken, will take over. And he is even more racist and Yordlephobic than I am." {{champion:91}} "Look, man, I'm an angry millennial. Reason isn't going to work with me. **NOW DIE!**" {{champion:240}} "Finally, I have been waiting all day for one of you to make a move. Shoulda figured it would be you, Renegade Talon." {{champion:91}} "Not just me, **RENEGADES, ROLL OUT!**" {{champion:245}} {{champion:41}} {{champion:84}} {{champion:238}} **"TIME TO KILL AND DESTROY, IN THE NAME OF PEACE AND LOVE!"** {{champion:240}} "Glad I called in the riot squad. Thought somethin' like this would happen." {{champion:104}} {{champion:27}} {{champion:75}} {{champion:10}} {{champion:53}} **"STAY BACK, CRIMINAL SCUM." ** {{champion:240}} "You best get ready. **CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO OPEN THE BIGGEST CAN OF WHOOP ASS SINCE SKT VS SAMSUNG GALAXY GAME TWO.**" {{champion:91}} "Heh, I'll just hop over this wall and-" {{champion:240}} _"Ult locks on."_ {{champion:91}} **"OH DEAR RITO, IT FLYS THROUGH WALLS! SOMEONE CC IT!"** {{champion:245}} **"I CAN'T IT'S UNSTOPPABLE!"** {{champion:91}} **"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"** {{champion:240}} "Vicious! VICIOUS!!! **VICIOUS!!!!!!!!!**" {{champion:238}} "That's it man, I only signed up to assassinate one psycho. Not whatever this thing is. I'm out." {{champion:53}} "Not if I have any say about that." {{champion:238}} "I hate my life." _"Gets pulled."_ {{champion:240}} **"KILL 'EM ALL!"** {{champion:104}} "Good thing I brought real bullets then." {{champion:91}} {{champion:245}} {{champion:41}} {{champion:84}} {{champion:238}} _"Dies a most horrible and painful death. Not even oranges, time travel or shadow tricks can stop the peace keepers."_ {{champion:240}} "Alright, peace restored. And what's left of the bodies can be sent back to their parents in a few envelopes. Saving us on shipping. We are true Valoran heroes. You can head ho- Hang on, I hear some yelling. **MORE PROTESTERS!**" {{champion:51}} "Oh hi there, Corporate Kled. How's it going?" {{champion:240}} "What in this Rito forsaken planet is on you ladies heads?" {{champion:51}} "We are protesting the over sexualization of our splash arts. It has gotten to be too much and we want it to stop." {{champion:67}} "I mean just look at this thing, who poses like that when fighting a monster. Not only would I have to break my back, but it's just not effective." http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/Vayne_0.jpg {{champion:51}} "And this, I mean. There is no way that leg could even connect to my body." http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/Caitlyn_0.jpg {{champion:240}} "So, you're not breaking things or trying to kill anybody?" {{champion:51}} "Nope, well, we did light a couple of the Warring Kingdoms Azir supporter's hair on fire. But that was it." {{champion:240}} "Alright, that's pretty funny. Well, as long as you are ain't perturbing the tranquility. I can't stop ya. So have at it." _(Well, we did it. Two years. Been fun. To celebrate, I would like to announce that I am working on a website. Which will have all the previous episodes, as well as any new ones. I hope to have it up by next week, assuming no delays. I'll let you know then. As always, thanks for reading.)_
A website?! {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-rainbows}}
: New free champion rotation: Braum, Diana, Jhin and more!
{{champion:131}} has the best laugh in the game.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Vogue One Hundred, A Corporate Story_** {{champion:268}} "I sense a disturbance in the sand." {{champion:83}} "What could it mean?" {{champion:268}} **"WOAH, HOLY FAKE PERSON TARKIN!"** {{champion:83}} "Huh, what did I do?" {{champion:268}} "You died years ago. Get out of here with that CGI crap. Bringing Champions back from the dead with computers, not right. Thing didn't even look like Yorick. **SOMEONE GET ME A REAL SERVANT, I FEEL WEIRD TALKING TO MYSELF!**" {{champion:11}} "Y-y-yes Seth, you called?" {{champion:268}} "You bet I did. I need someone to vent to. I sensed some great threat in the sand. I fear a team of elite saboteurs has come to destroy everything we have worked on here." _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:104}} "Are you sure you know where we are going?" {{champion:39}} "Of course I do. I just need to get my bearings. It's hard navigating games. Now, was Dawngate before or after Heroes of Newerth? {{champion:64}} "I'm pretty sure it was over by Dota 2. Just take a left up here." {{champion:39}} "Oh yeah, right." {{champion:81}} "Why are we taking directions from the blind hobo?" {{champion:53}} "Ha, I won again! You really are terrible at this game." {{champion:36}} "Mundo lose?** MUNDO NO LIKE TO LOSE!**" _"Cleaves both of Blitzcrank's arms off."_ {{champion:53}} "Now that's just rude." {{champion:104}} "Always let the Mundo win, kid." {{champion:81}} "So, is there going to be anyone trying to stop us. Or is this just going to be another walk on the runway?" {{champion:39}} "Sadly it's not going to be that easy. The Dawngate plans are being held by Seth the Sand Mage. Rumor has it that they are going to make sure he is the next champion in League in exchange for guarding them." _**Meanwhile:**_ {{champion:11}} "So I have to ask, why are we the ones protecting Dawngate? Why not hire their own guys to do it?" {{champion:268}} "Because, this story is only about League of Legends. So everyone in it must be from it too. Except for that one weird time that a couple of people from Overwatch showed up. Also, EA prefers getting others to do their work from them." {{champion:11}} "Makes sense. So, any idea when an attack might come?" {{champion:39}} "Right now sucker!" {{champion:11}} "Oh jeez, I was hoping it wouldn't be this soon." {{champion:268}} **"STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! NO ONE TOUCHES THE DAWNGATE PLANS AS LONG AS I STAND HERE! YOU WILL N-"** _"Gets shot down."_ {{champion:104}} "Everyones always all high and mighty, till you shoot off a limb or two." {{champion:268}} "Ughhhh, sand soldiers, Yi, **ATTACK!**" {{champion:11}} "I will not let you pass." {{champion:39}} "Well, it appears I'm at full health, but so are you. Which means I can still stun you for ten years. **CAUSE THATS HOW FAIRNESS WORKS!**" {{champion:11}} "Rito, why....." _"Gets stunned for an indefinite amount of time."_ {{champion:81}} "There are too many sand soldiers, and I broke a nail. How can someone fight like this?" {{champion:53}} "Maybe if you would let me use that magic gauntlet, we could get through this." {{champion:81}} "No way! You are a robot, robots don't get to shoot people. It's the law, or something. Besides, knowing your sassy butt, you might just slap me with it." {{champion:64}} "Alright, there's no way we can get through this. Let's just accept our defeat and leave." {{champion:36}} "Blind hobo man, Mundo maybe talk about you get job too if help get plans. It pay boatload money." {{champion:64}} "I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me. I am one with the cash, the cash is with me." {{champion:268}} "Why is he so mobile? **CAN'T ANY OF YOU STOP HIM?**" {{champion:53}} "I don't believe it, that idiot is actually making progress." {{champion:39}} "Never underestimate the power of the cash." {{champion:64}} "I got it, let's get out of here!" {{champion:268}} "**WAIT!** Don't go, join me. Together, we can side with EA and rule the mobas together." {{champion:39}} "We are never coming over to the dark side with you." {{champion:36}} "Now Mundo put the ax to you." _"Chops Azir."_ {{champion:39}} "Seth the Sand Mage will never get in the League of Legends." {{champion:268}} "Maybe not, but I will make it, even if I have to do it under another name and it takes me years. **I WILL RETURN!**" {{champion:126}} "Woo, we did it team. Another successful mission." {{champion:39}} "Jayce? What are you doing here?" {{champion:126}} "Well, this is the one-hundredth episode. And I'm the one-hundredth champion. So I thought it made sense." {{champion:39}} "Yeah, but this is a prequel. There aren't a hundred champions here. You're not even supposed to exist yet." {{champion:126}} "Well then, why is Azir here?" {{champion:39}} "That's Seth, that's what everyone called Azir when they started making him around this time." {{champion:126}} "Oh, alright. I guess I'll go and stop making plot holes." {{champion:39}} "Do you wanna join the team?" {{champion:126}} "Yes please!" {{champion:39}} "Alright, I guess we can make an exception this time." {{champion:36}} "Yay, Mundo make new friend. Which me will have leave in gutter after me get high pay job." {{champion:39}} "I trust you guys can deliver the plans safely?" {{champion:81}} "Yes, I'm sure these boys can handle it. But Princess Ireleia dear, are you not coming with us?" {{champion:39}} "Not anymore. I had enough left in me for one last mission. But I've been at this for so many years. It's time I stopped and went home. I will never forget you, Vogue One Hundred. May the cash be with you. _(That's it, the season four finale. And as you may have guessed, the one-hundredth episode. It feels great to make it to triple digits, thanks to you guys. A Corporate Matter will return with season five on January 30th. Until then, glhf.)_
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _I For One, Like The Prequels_** _**A long time ago in a corporation not so far away...**_ {{champion:23}} "Well we did it, League of legends is a success. The cash is pouring in as we speak." {{champion:13}} "Yes, but I feel we can make even more. I have an idea. What if we put different champions and skins on sale every week." {{champion:23}} "Splendid idea! But, we are both so busy. Who could possibly take the task of assigning the sales every week." {{champion:13}} "We will have to hire our first real employee." {{champion:23}} "That should be easy enough." _**Many failed interviews and days later:**_ {{champion:23}} "I take it back, I take it all back. This is not easy. Why is everyone such idiots." {{champion:13}} "Okay, this guy is literally the last person in Runeterra that applied. Let's hope he actually has some brains." {{champion:36}} "Hello, me Dr. Mundo. Hoping become Corporate Mundo. Get new job, make many moneys." {{champion:23}} "Just kill me now." {{champion:13}} "Wait, maybe we have been going about this all wrong. Instead of seeing if he is at all qualified for the job at hand. How about we send him on some important mission. And if he succeeds, he gets the job." {{champion:23}} "Well, my undying rage won't let me kill myself. So sure, that works. And I have the perfect idea. There is a new threat to our great game. It's called Dawngate, we believe it has the power to destroy all we hold dear. We however, know it's creator has installed a fatal flaw. But we don't know where it is. We shall send you to get the Dawngate plans. Return with them and the job is yours." {{champion:36}} "Mundo do good, Mundo impress CEO and CMO. But Mundo no know where to look." {{champion:13}} "Talk to Princess Ireleia, she will know what to do." _**Some time later:**_ {{champion:36}} "You Princess Ireleia?" {{champion:83}} "What? No." {{champion:36}} "You Princess Ireleia?" {{champion:55}} "I wish. Wait, you really think I look like her?" {{champion:36}} "No. You Princess Ireleia?" {{champion:75}} "Really? Do I look like a Princess? I don't think I like your attitude there buddy. You trying to say something?" {{champion:39}} "Woah there, back off Nasus. I got this. I am Princess Ireleia. What do you require of me." {{champion:36}} "Me sent to get Dawngate plans. Need you. Mundo want new job." {{champion:39}} "Ah yes, I was told you would be coming. But I was losing hope, it's been a week since they said you were on the way." {{champion:36}} "Mundo stop to torture Badger. Me hates badgers. Then me get tacos." {{champion:39}} "Well, at least you are here now. Come, we are going to need a ship. And I know the perfect guy." {{champion:81}} "No, don't put that, no over, ugh! I can't deal with this right now. Take five everyone." {{champion:39}} "Ezreal the Fabulous. I need your help." {{champion:81}} "Ah, Princess Ireleia, it is so good to see you. How may I be of service." {{champion:39}} "We have a very important top secret mission to do. But we need ourselves a Gameship. Would you be any chance have one?" {{champion:81}} "It just so happens I know where the perfect one is. But I doubt the two of us can do this ourselves. Good thing I have something that maybe resembles a crew. We have the sassy robot. {{champion:53}} "Oh, thats funny coming from you." {{champion:81}} "So sassy. We got some handicapped hobos I picked up off the street." {{champion:64}} "We are not hobos." {{champion:104}} "Yeah, we did have a home. **UNTIL EA STRUCK!**" {{champion:81}} "Add you and me and all we need is a mentally challenged helper." {{champion:36}} "Yes, Mundo heard someone call him." {{champion:81}} "Perfect! But, where did he come from?" {{champion:36}} "Me was given this mission, to save league legends and get new job." {{champion:81}} "Oh honey, hiring you was an even worse decision than letting Mariah Carey sing right before the ball drops. Well, at least you seem slightly more coherent than she was." {{champion:39}} "Lets just get going." {{champion:81}} "Right this way then." _**A few minutes later:**_ {{champion:8}} "Hey, I'm detecting an engine starting up. Is someone in that ship?" {{champion:81}} "Okay, so I forgot to mention something. This ship isn't allowed to leave under any circumstances." {{champion:39}} "Well, we are going to have to lie to him long enough to take off." {{champion:36}} "This is pilot speaking. We are on mission to save everything." {{champion:8}} "Mission, what mission? What's your call sign pilot?" {{champion:81}} "Ooooh, um tell him. It's Vogue, Vogue One Hundred." {{champion:39}} "What, why Vogue One Hundred?" {{champion:81}} "Because this is the fashion show baby. And theres a hundred and one reasons why we are the best." {{champion:36}} "We Vogue One Hundred. Mundo taking off now, bye." {{champion:53}} "Oh, I hope this mission doesn't end in all of us dying horribly painful deaths." _**To be continued next week, in the season four finale of A Corporate Matter.**_
I miss Dawngate. It had such potential. Stupid EA gutting it before it was even out of beta.
: Academy Ivern!
Professor Ivern.
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Schizophrementalist_** {{champion:90}} "I really think we outdid ourselves this time Jimmy. After searching through so many different dimensions we have finally found her. I didn't think it was possible for us to beat Star Guardian Lux, but here is proof I'm wrong." {{champion:99}} "Where am I?" {{champion:90}} "You are in my studio. I am Art Master Malzahar. This is my Voidling, Jimmy. I am in charge of adding new skins to the league of legends. And you are perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever found or made. A perfect version of normal Lux in every way. Just a simple power over light, nothing else. Perfect." {{champion:99}} "But I have power over all elements, not just light." {{champion:99}} "He doesn't need to know that." {{champion:99}} "What, I'm not just going to lie to him." {{champion:99}} "Well you should, he might not let us stay if he knows." {{champion:99}} "She's right, do you really want to go back to fighting that giant rock monster." {{champion:99}} "You three need to be quiet, he is looking at us weird." {{champion:90}} "Uhhhh, you okay?" {{champion:99}} "Yeah, just having an argument with my other forms." {{champion:90}} "Other forms?" {{champion:99}} Yeah, ten of us. All inhabiting the same body." {{champion:99}} "We can change at will, here let me show you." _"Transforms into Mystic Lux."_ {{champion:99}} "Great, now he knows." {{champion:99}} "Why do you always have to be such a showoff, Mystic?" {{champion:99}} "Well excuse me, I'm tired of Light always getting to do everything." {{champion:90}} "You are even better than I could have possibly imagined. Everyone must have access to someone like you." {{champion:36}} "Corporate Mundo's money senses tingling. Have you got any spectacular product? Outsourced servant." {{champion:90}} "You arrived just in time. I have found the greatest thing in all existence. She might be a little odd." {{champion:99}} "Awwwww, he's so cute. Roll over so I can rub your belly." {{champion:99}} "I love his sweater." {{champion:99}} "I hate pets." {{champion:99}} "You're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you, Dark." {{champion:90}} "But her magnificence must be made available to everyone." {{champion:36}} "Yes, so me make it most expensive thing in game." {{champion:90}} "Well, at least everyone who truly wants it can get her on her sale." {{champion:36}} "Me also push sale back until May 2017. And add special loading border for those who not cheap." {{champion:90}} "Ok, can she at least get an icon for all ten forms?" {{champion:36}} "Yes, but you only get five with her, pay extra for other half." {{champion:90}} "Come on man, why you gotta make this so hard for players. Can't you just make her beauty accessible to all?" {{champion:36}} "Corporate Mundo be honest. When me look at her, me only see giant bags of money. Mountains of money. Corporate Mundo no care about any else." {{champion:90}} "Alright Elementalist Lux. Go with the nice man over here and be good for him." {{champion:99}} "Sneaky little Corporateses, trying to sell our body for money." {{champion:99}} "You just have to see the dark side of everything, don't you." {{champion:99}} "Well, that is her name." {{champion:99}} "Come on girls. This could be fun. Let's give it a try." {{champion:99}} "Alright, but I want Tacos." {{champion:99}} "You know I'm a vegan!" {{champion:99}} "Fine, vegi tacos." {{champion:99}} "With lots of hot sauce." {{champion:36}} "But, all tacos place closed except for one in nearby city. Going there delay us by week." {{champion:99}} "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get us all to agree on something to eat. **I SUGGEST YOU GET US SOME DAMN TACOS!**" {{champion:36}} "Alright, Corporate Mundo will take you to Taco." _"Leaves with Elementalist Lux."_ {{champion:90}} "Well Jimmy, it's back to being just us. They grow up so fast." _"Holds back a tear."_ {{champion:90}} "Alright, let's get back to searching the millions of universes. Maybe we can take another look at that Sorcerer doctor. Yeah, I know he was pretty strange. But that red cloak might look great on Taric." _(Whoa, late one today. So many jokes I could make. Maybe next week.)_
{{champion:38}} "Mister Doctor?" {{champion:44}} "It's 'Strange'!" {{champion:38}} "Maybe..."
I7A6X2v2 (NA)
: "In an ideal world, we’d like to retire normal draft in all regions."... Please no, i dont want to "fight" for my best role... that calling system in blind pick is the worst thing in League We could remove both normal queue and re-introduce team builder as only normal queue.
God, I miss Team Builder.
: Playing Batman in the short-lived Infinite Crisis MOBA made me want a Batman skin for Akali.
: Champion and skin sale: 10.04 - 10.07
We need more Batman-themed skins.
: Champion Insights: Ivern, the Really Swell Guy
What if Taric, Ivern, and Braum all met each other?
: Thank You
I was introduced to League via my brother roughly around Season 1 (he had bought the physical edition of the game and gave me the Human Ryze skin code, which I ultimately didn't use). To be blunt, I hated it, I had never played a MOBA before and at the time thought it was nothing but a stupid Warcraft 3 ripoff. It didn't help that my parents had recently divorced, so I was kind of angry at everything around me. A few years later (roughly around the time {{champion:60}} was released) I picked it up again, I still didn't see the appeal but was willing to give it another shot. I was confused by all the changes and all the new champions that had been released, so I decided to choose one character at random (it ended up being {{champion:2}} ) and stick with it until I beat the learning curve. Needless to say, I made a lot of other players angry (it turns out,starting off in normal PvP to relearn a game I had previously loathed wasn't a good idea). I was the definition of the term "Feeder", and had little to no concept of "laning" or "jungling" and was just dead weight being carried by the rest of my team. Yet, slowly but surely, I began to better understand the game mechanics, I started to branch out toward other champions, I tried out other lanes and roles, and ultimately, I became "sorta okay". About a month ago, I was cleaning out my grandparent's garage for them and came across the old Ryze code my brother had given me all those years ago. It brought back memories of a time in my life when I was an angry, pathetic shell that hated his parents for divorcing, hated going to college so much that he would intentionally drop out a year later, and hated himself thinking all of it could been prevented had he done something different. I'm not that person anymore, and don't ever want to be ever again. I'm doing much better for myself now, have a job I enjoy (even if it's not the one I originally went to college for), am on much better terms with my family, and learned to love my hobbies again. Even though all of this is barely related to League, I just wanted to say: _Thank you, Riot Games. Thank you for being there._ On a lighter note, in case anyone was curious, yes, I tried the Ryze code when I found it again. it was expired. {{item:3070}} {{champion:13}} {{item:3070}}
: The Tales of the Kindred Act 3: Beauty in Vengeance Episode 2: The Man with the Golden Bullet (Lamb was walking ahead, the Black Spear held firmly in hand as she walked. Wolf was a step behind her, enjoying the fierce determination that Lamb had now.) {{champion:203}} : **So any idea how we actually find Hecarim now? He runs so fast that even if I find a scent we can't chase him down.** (Lamb brushed a lock of hair from her eyes.) {{champion:203}} : _In life, Hecarim was a glory hungry bastard, deceiving his king so that he and his Iron Order could ride off to battle for glory. We are going to spread some rumors among the wraiths here about how Hecarim was a nobody who lied and deceived his way to stealing a knighthood and command._ **Dang, harsh words Lamb.** _There's no time left for nice talk. Our quest is drawing to an end._ {{champion:203}} : **I'll bet you could shoot that spear from your bow.** (Lamb sat down and grabbed the limbs of her bow with her feet. With both hands she drew the string back with the Black Spear as her arrow.) **You look like a ballistae now.** {{champion:203}} : _Oh hush Wolf, that takes too much energy to pull that string back far enough for the spear to be shot._ (Wolf's ears then perked up.) {{item:3211}} : One, two, three, four... two, two, three, four... (Wolf and Lamb looked at each other with confused faces.) {{champion:203}} : _Surely that isn't Hecarim practicing military drills._ (They followed the sound until they found someone walking around a large open field.) {{champion:202}} : This stage... Not the best I've had to work with...but I could certainly do worse on this deprived island. I must hurry to get a performance ready to bring beauty to this land. {{champion:203}} : _Khada Jhin? Why are you here?_ (Jhin turned to face her.) {{champion:202}} : Ah, the Kindred. A more wonderful audience I could never ask for. You see, I was in a sleepy town in Ionia the other day, planning a beautiful performance for Zed, when I overheard him and Shen speaking of a place that had no beauty, only pain and suffering, and how they wished someone would travel to those lands as a missionary to help those poor souls. {{champion:203}} : **...oooookay...** {{champion:202}} : He also said that they were ruled by five undead overlords, and I couldn't sit back any longer to leave such imperfection alone. (Meanwhile in a small tea-house in Ionia) {{champion:238}} : Think he bought that story bout the Shadow Isles? {{champion:98}} : Totally fell for it, especially after that line about the five overlords. (Quiet, shadowy laughter from both of them.) {{champion:98}} : Now, back to killing each other. (Before Shen could act, Zed's body shifted into a dark transparent form.) {{champion:98}} : Rito pls... (Back in the Shadow Isles, where Jhin had been regaling an attentive Lamb and a very bored Wolf on his plans of "bringing beauty and order to the Shadow Isles".) {{champion:202}} : So that's the plan. And now that you two are here as stage hands, we can set up the show quicker. {{champion:203}} : **Wait wha- Stage hands? But I don't have hands.** _Before we do anything to help you, what makes you think you can perform a show that'll kill any of the undead overlords?_ {{champion:202}} : I was waiting for you to ask so I could show you this! (Reveals a beautiful golden bullet) {{champion:203}} : **It's a fancy bullet. Woo...** {{champion:202}} : This my furry friend is no ordinary bullet. It was built by sanctified Yordle hands, loaded with blessed Piltover gunpowder, filled with the holy light of Demacia, kissed by a virgin Noxian priestess, frozen in Frehjordian true ice for 4 days and 4 nights, basked in the light of Shurima's sun disk for 4 day and 4 nights, dipped in holy water of Bilgewater, carved with sacred runes from Ionia, all sealed in a casing from Zaun's holiest metals. {{champion:203}} : _Wow. Such effort._ {{champion:202}} : And the best part: It's a .44 caliber.
I didn't laugh until that last line, and now I can't stop.
: Why does Sion get another upgrade on splash art but you havent done a splash update for all the other champs first...
Riot had better not change the splash art for Sailor Gangplank.
: {{champion:245}} This place is insane. {{champion:26}} I tried to warn you. {{champion:245}} What..Old man you followed me? {{champion:26}} Followed you? I have been here long before you even thought of traveling back here. Remember I exist at every point in time at the same time. {{champion:26}} It a little meep morp, but with a dash of wona. {{champion:245}} Ummm.... {{champion:26}} Oh sorry those are little words created about 200 years from now. Anyway how about a little fight. {{champion:245}} I'm sure you haven't changed much. {{champion:26}} Just 2 differences really. {{champion:245}} Then I can beat you. I know I am still fast enough to dodge those bombs of yours. {{champion:26}} You already have 1 on you. {{champion:245}} What...I....You didn't even throw it!!! {{champion:26}} That is difference #1: I don't throw bombs here. {{champion:245}} So you can't dodge it!? That's BullS-_BOOM_ {{champion:26}} I knew you would say that so I set the bomb to go off right there. {{champion:245}} _cough cough_Ok I am a little scared to ask but...what is difference #2? {{champion:26}} I give bonus exp to all my teammates at the same time no matter where they are on the map. In fact everyone on my team already 2 levels above your team. _killing spree_ Make that 3 levels. {{champion:245}} Ok that it! I'm done! I am going home. _disappears_ {{champion:26}} ........Heh. Lightweight.
I'm so glad I suggested this. This is great! (Zilean is my favorite champ)
: Hextech doesn't really reward good behavior in my eyes, though. It rewards S-ranks, that's how you get chests, and you can only get one chest per champ, per season. Encouraging people to try and play many champs, which also means champs they play worse than their mains. I could play Tristana every game, all season and get tons of S-ranks, never once be a good sportsman (I mean not be an asshole either but I could do not one single sportsman like thing, I could be 100% mute every single game), and I'd get one chest for that for one S-rank with Tristana, that's it. I'd never get a single one based on my behavior. S'why the concept of the chests currently confuses me. Sure, you can get locked OUT of the chests if you get reported enough, but you don't get chests for NOT getting reported, either. You get them based purely on the illusion of skill. Sure, S-ranks require skill, no question but sometimes, the guy who died the most times, at those critical moments, (sacrificed himself for the team at the right moments all game long), and was the friendliest player ever, is the reason we won. Will he get an S-rank for the game? No. Will he get a chest for being an awesome player personality wise? No. So I see that as a problem. I've gotten all the S-ranks I'm likely to get with champs this season, never once did that have anything to do with how I treated others, and I keep looking at that Hextech Annie skin shard and I know that no matter how good a person I try to be while playing, I will -never- get enough chests this season to get that skin without buying chests with RP. My behavior will have nothing to do with it. Just how I feel / view Hextech currently. Entirely my opinion and nothing more.
And a very valid opinion it is.
: {{champion:245}} Alright big guy just you and me. 1v1. I can beat you easily. {{champion:77}} New Kid you are way out of your league if you think your toys can defeat me. You won't even get half of my health. {{champion:245}} We will see about that. _I have beaten this guy so many times before and his kit looks the same. There is nothing he can do to surprise me. _ {{champion:77}} AGH!!! {{champion:245}} Woah that was close. Take this. {{champion:77}} Not bad, you have some damage on you. Little damage. {{champion:245}} Maybe now but it will add up and once I get it low enough I can take you out. {{champion:77}} If you can get my health low enough. {{champion:245}} As long as I don't get hit by turtle, you won't be recovering any health. {{champion:77}} heheheh...oh really. _changes forms_ {{champion:245}} What the...how are you healing? {{champion:77}} _changes forms_ {{champion:245}} Again you are getting health back..how!? {{champion:77}} http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/leagueoflegends/images/9/9a/Innervating_Locket_item.png/revision/latest?cb=20130319094427 {{champion:245}} What is that thing!!? {{champion:77}} AGH!!!!! {{champion:245}} _You have been slain_ _Back at base_ {{champion:245}} Ok...guess there were some items back in season 1 that I don't know about. Better look through them all.....The heck is this? The heck is that? WHAT IS A DEATHFIRE GRASP!!?
: #A Corporate Matter **Episode: _Is it just me, or do they only pick pretty people for the pool party skins._** {{champion:119}} "Welcome one and all, to Draven's second annual pool party! I am seeing a lot of new faces and I just have to say. None of them are as good as mine!" {{champion:104}} "We are all so glad to be here." {{champion:150}} "Speak for yourself. I think I am just going to leave." {{champion:36}} "Corporate Mundo need remind you? All employee must come pool party and have fun. It good for productivity." {{champion:64}} "You know, you would probably have a lot more fun if you wore a pool outfit, instead of that warm suit. How are you not dying of heatstroke with that thing and all your fur." {{champion:150}} "I don't like to be cold. But I'm not taking it off. Because for some reason whenever I do people don't realize I am an intelligent Gnar that can speak. They just keep yelling _shoo shoo bahnah_ at me." {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:150}} "Ok, you don't have to do it too." {{champion:64}} "Hey Sona, you like those new buffs I gave you baby?" _"Points fingers and winks."_ {{champion:37}} "..." {{champion:64}} "Why you gotta be like that? I would be a little nicer to me if I were you. For if Corporate Lee Sin can giveth, Corporate Lee Sin can also taketh." {{champion:89}} "Come on, keep fighting. Leona needs her time in the sunlight again." {{champion:119}} "We have some special guests today. Announcing the gods of summer beauty. Also known as, **THE FOUR PARTYMEN!**" {{champion:115}} "Sounds fun, I like fun, oh yes yes." {{champion:119}} "Now you have already met me. The king of mustaches, the only man who can rock an inflatable life vest. **POOL PARTY DRAAAAAAAAAVEN!**" {{champion:421}} _"Swoons."_ {{champion:119}} "That's my girl. Next up, the princess of pool 1v1s. She will kill you with what is definitely a pool noodle. You better stay away if you're a crab. **POOL PARTY FIORA!**" {{champion:114}} "I do hate crabs, no honor. Always attack when you are low or browsing the shop." {{champion:23}} "She, broke, my pool noodle." {{champion:86}} "Demacia....." _"Stares with mouth open."_ {{champion:55}} "How could anyone want someone so horribly ugly." _"Tries not to be jealous."_ {{champion:119}} "Here comes the queen of summer selfies. The girl everyone wants to talk to. Has to stay in the shade because she is so hot. **POOL PARTY MISS FORTUNE!**" {{champion:21}} "Go ahead, take as many pictures as you like. The lady who saved Bilgewater!" {{champion:104}} "Heh, you saved it did you? Because I was there, and that is about the last thing I would call it." {{champion:21}} "You would think so, seeing as how I hunt down scum like you. All that aside, I am really thirsty, could someone grab me a drink?" {{champion:53}} "How about instead I grab a piece of that-" {{champion:23}} "**Ashe!** Fiora broke my pool noodle, how I am supposed to splitpush now?" _"Sobs."_ {{champion:22}} "It's okay Sweety. We will get revenge on her later. In the meantime, just bash people's heads in with this inflatable orca." {{champion:122}} "Hey! That's my-" {{champion:22}} _"Gives death stare."_ {{champion:122}} "Oh jeez, keep it keep it." {{champion:119}} "And finally, Mr. Abs himself. The prince of diving. You can't deal with it. Guaranteed to get you wetter than a vacation to Florida." {{champion:154}} "Thank you thank you. I am so glad to finally be recognized for my beauty." {{champion:119}} "Get out of here chump. **POOL PARTY TARIC!**" {{champion:44}} "Initiate slow mo." _"Starts running in a really sexy way."_ {{champion:82}}{{champion:2}}{{champion:83}} ♫I'll be ready!♫ {{champion:30}} ♫I'll be ready!♫ {{champion:89}} "He's so dreamy." {{champion:44}} _"Continues running on the beach in slow motion."_ {{champion:82}}{{champion:2}}{{champion:83}} ♫Whenever you fear♫ {{champion:30}} ♫oh don't you fear♫ {{champion:117}} "Hey, what are you doing with my volleyball?" {{champion:81}} "Nothing nothing, I just need to hold it here for a few minutes." {{champion:44}} _"Gives smile in slow motion."_ {{champion:99}} "He was looking at me, **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" {{champion:58}} "Well, it's a good thing he isn't the lifeguard on duty. Everyone in League could have drowned before he got to them." {{champion:82}}{{champion:2}}{{champion:83}} ♫I'll be ready!♫ {{champion:30}} ♫Forever and always, I'm always here.♫ {{champion:37}} _♫Epic piano solo.♫_ {{champion:119}} "Now, before any of you guys go and try to drown yourselves hoping Pool Party Taric will save you. Please know that he is actually off duty today." {{champion:44}} "Oh, I'm totally on duty. Who needs saving?" **_Most of the party runs into the pool._** {{champion:150}} "Not me, unless you are talking about money that is." {{champion:119}} "You guys have fun. Because the only one Draven needs to save him is, **Draaaaaaaaaaven!**"
I love that Pentakill was available for a pool party gig. Also, Draven x Rek'Sai?
: Dear God today sale took forever to appear. {{champion:245}} Just a few more adjustments and it should be done. {{champion:26}} Don't do it. {{champion:245}} What? {{champion:26}} I know what you are doing, or going to be doing, it not pretty and even though you aren't going to listen to me, I still want to try so you won't be scarred by it. {{champion:245}} Look old man: I am the time lord now. I can control my time, I can do where and when I want unlike you randomly jumping all over the place. {{champion:26}} I know what you are doing, or going to be doing, it not pretty and even though you aren't going to listen to me, I still want to try so you won't be scarred by it. {{champion:245}} You already said that. {{champion:26}} I know what you are doing, or going to be doing, it not pretty and even though you aren't going to listen to me, I still want to try so you won't be scarred by it. {{champion:245}} ..........Oh my God he stuck in a loop. Well I guess I should help him...or I can go ahead with my plan. Yep that sounds good. See ya Gramps. _time warps away_ {{champion:26}} I know what you are doing, or going to be- He actually went. Welp guess my past self is going to have fun....or is it my future self back there in the past? Oh well either way I am going to have so fun because that boy is heading back to....SEASON 1
Holy crap, you made it! Thanks! (Ekko has no idea of the lawless wasteland that awaits him...)
: {{champion:268}} Well that was more fun then I remembered. {{champion:101}} I still like Ascension more. {{champion:15}} Well of course you do, but I actually had fun with that Dominion change. {{champion:75}} Same, but I am worried about something. {{champion:163}} Worry about what sir? {{champion:75}} This is something that had disappeared and when it came back, it was different. I am worry that there is some power at play here that is changing maps. If it did that to Dominion, what else can it do? {{champion:72}} GUYS!! GUYS!!!! {{champion:15}} Oh hey Skarner here. {{champion:163}} The **** is that!!!? {{champion:101}} Oh it just Skarner. He harmless...unless you take one of his crystals. You..don't have a crystal right? {{champion:163}} No... {{champion:101}} Then you are fine. {{champion:72}} EVERYONE!! The Rift! It there, but not there, and no gold from minions, and lasers, and defending, and- {{champion:268}} SKARNER! Take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and then speak in complete sentences. {{champion:72}} Ok..ok.._Deep Breath_ Half of Summoner Rift is gone!!! {{champion:75}} What do you mean it gone? {{champion:72}} Well half of the map is gone, there are no jungle monsters, and minions don't give gold anymore. {{champion:268}} Then what do you do? {{champion:72}} We try to destroy their nexus as fast as possible. We get cannons, shields, and little banners to super charge minions while the people on defense gets super lasers on their turrets, meteors, and other stuff. And the weird thing is once the nexus go down, we switch places and have to stop them for beating our time. {{champion:15}} That sounds....pretty fun. {{champion:72}} Are you kidding me? IT FREAKIN AWESOME!! Come on let go try it out before it goes back to normal. {{champion:268}} {{champion:101}} {{champion:15}} {{champion:75}} YEAH!!! {{champion:163}} I think I might like this place after all. Hey wait for me! _The End._ Notes: Mmmmm...now what should I write next. Leave suggestions if you want, I may do one of your ideas, I may mix some of them together, or just reading them will get a new idea flowing in my head. Till next week.
Zilean teaching Ekko the finer points of time travel ala Back To The Future! (with Zilean as Doc Brown and Ekko as Marty)
: Ryze, the Rune Mage, available now
But is his Human/Young skin finally going to be available?!
: *Looks at Ryze's ult* Is that you, Guardian?! (Warcraft Ref)
Yeah! I wish he was holding a spark between his fingers.
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