Stacona (NA)
: I Am Sorry Everyone!
Well, only time will tell if you put all this into practise or not, but it seems like a step in the right direction, so good on you! If you want more feedback in real-time, I reccomend joining the official C&C discord.
Stacona (NA)
: [Item Concepts] AP Marksmen
Don’t try to force this. AD marksmen play the same as AP marksmen do. An Ap/onhit marksman is still just a marksman, and is still right clicking. The only different is that they buy more expensive and less ideal items, and don’t crit. The obvious power window for all ADCs is lategame, which enemies try to deny during the earlygame, as that’s when they’re at your weakest. Lastly, I’d like to talk a bit about the way you respond to criticism. Everytime someone attempts to leave criticism for any of your concepts, you try to justify your concept and deflect everything they’ve said. This leaves people frustrated, as they’ve just used up their time giving criticism to someone who just tries to deflect it, and I believe that’s why your posts tend to garner so many downvotes. Another thing I see is that if you get enough downvotes, you just delete your thread, and post it again. If you just took people’s criticisms to heart, and updated your original post, I guarantee you won’t have this problem. Listen, you’re not going to improve by doing this. It’s only with adapting to criticism that your concepts can improve, but you seem entirely adverse to that, which is a habit I very highly recommend you try to change soon.
Keundt (NA)
: [Champion Concept] Jaq, the Frost Mage (rough draft)
Hey, so I'm gonna leave a quick review for you here: Passive - Useless and takes up a slot. You could easily just stack this damage onto any of his slowing abilities. Q - Very boring. It's a targeted single target attack, with no uses beyond that. W - Also boring. It's a single target shield that does nothing beyond that. This champion doesn't suggest to me as being a tank, so the magic resistance into AP thing doesn't help much. E - Slightly more interesting than the other abilities, but not much skill or decision making is required to use it at all, you just use it when you need a bit more damage. R - Same reasons as above, but with a heftier slow stacked on. In total, your kit's very boring and linear. There isn't any skill expression or decision making to be had in the kit, since all of your abilities are point-and-click. This champion brings absolutely nothing new to the table, that can't already be done by other champions. The ultimate is an exception, however, it's still an effect that cannot be avoided, and takes no skill in using. In short, most of your champion's damage is unavoidable and require no skill to pull off, which leads to very one-dimensional gameplay. if you want to improve your concept, I'd suggest moving away from using only simple, single-target effects. Additionally, "frost mage" isn't a very exciting thematic, since many of those already exist within the game, but with even more than just that. For example, Anivia's also a frost mage, but she's also a phoenix in addition to that.
: Any story behind why his face is a horror movie?
An ugly character fit the personality and backstory best imo
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] April CCOS Entry Time! Enter Here! I haven't entered a CCOS since last year. It's about to change now.
Rioter Comments
Chrysi7 (NA)
: Well, certainly not the worst grade I've ever gotten :P ~~Although I didn't appreciate my backstory being called "edgy", when it's literally him getting ice shards shoved out of his body. It's not Zoe. That doesn't help me improve. There's a difference between fluffy sugar and darker themes.~~ I'm admittedly confused on how people didn't understand his ult that much, but I guess that just means I need to work on my fluidity more, so I'll probably redesign Daphne a bit more before I put her in for next CCOS :P Thanks to the judges who (voted?) judged for this, and well done for all the participants :)
It was a good effort, though. I can see that you are improving.
Chrysi7 (NA)
: > [{quoted}](name=Serpexnessie,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=2MchhNRO,comment-id=0001,timestamp=2018-02-07T06:55:46.026+0000) > > Good job to all participants! Don’t get discouraged if you get a bad score, I recommend you to learn from the experience, and keep at it! Upon reflecting further, could I ask you to elaborate on your problems with my lore? I can't fix a problem I don't know. "However, my main issue is just that... the backstory was physically painful to read. It's just... super edgy." That doesn't actually help me, though. It simply says "hey, you did bad. It was painful.", which I can't work with. I again understand the time crunch, but you didn't offer anything helpful in characterization, even though you did in the other sections (sorta). Can you explain this better, please?
Okay, I'll elaborate further. My main issue is that it relies too much on other characters. I feel like it really takes Lissandra out of character, I have difficulty with accepting that fact that he's suddenly the son of Lissandra, and we know nothing of Helios. I know that you said that he's another concept of yours, but this is about this current concept, not your past ones. I think echoing's review of it was more detailed, so I'd consider working more off his review. Also, this isn't very technical, but the general tone of the story just feels, well, edgy to me. Probably best to ignore that, but eh, keep it in the back of your mind if you want. Feel free to ask any further questions, though I'm not sure I can help all that much.
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] December-January Results Are Here!
Good job to all participants! Don’t get discouraged if you get a bad score, I recommend you to learn from the experience, and keep at it!
: >2/4/18 - Judging stops, results announced >2/5/18 - Nothing, because Echoing actually adhered to the schedule Okay okay, I'm sorry XD Just had to work in a little light ribbing ;)
Hey, just because it says Echoing adheres to the schedule, doesn't mean the other judge does xD
Chrysi7 (NA)
: > [{quoted}](name=Echoing,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=enBzdrha,comment-id=00030000,timestamp=2018-01-15T19:09:46.354+0000) > > _passes saving throw_ > > I'm sorry you're frustrated. I'm at least making sure this gets wrapped up instead of either fading away forever or making someone else pick up the slack. > > I didn't reply because I didn't want to reply to you. I do not understand this reference I see. Well then.
: Happens with normal matches too. They end up not being able to play for several minutes for dodging. Already something in place to keep people from doing this too much.
It's not a good comparison at all. This is like if EVERYONE on your team wants midlane, and none of you get it. This is why Riot made the ability to queue up for a role.
: Arcade Boss Game Mode
There is an inherent problem with "1v5" gamemodes: Everyone wants to be the one. People would end up dodging the game if they are not the boss.
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] November Results Are Here!
: Looking for a Duo partner
You posted in the wrong board. This is concepts and creations.
Swegmec (NA)
: Item Creation Contest #1! Registration Closes Dec. 10
How many items are we allowed to submit?
Bobo113 (NA)
: That is true! It definitely could work as is. However, another can of worms you open by doing that is you essentially become a support Azir if you do that. Your role as an ADC (at least in paper) is not to send your basic attacks towards allies at the price of your own security. That type of thing is something That is partially covered by your E anyway, and it works more-so in your favor - as that is an offensive ability. Just something to keep in mind in terms of your character's identity and to minimize redundancies in your kit.
Uhm, E uses the Pulse drone, not the Atlas drone
Bobo113 (NA)
: Just be aware that a lot of these mechanics (not just visually) have quite a lot in common with Orianna's kit. However, there are still several ways to help block out this character’s identity to forge a path of your own. Keep in mind that, without base stats, ability-specific data, or scaling, it will be rather tough to give strong feedback on anything other than basic kid details, but alas. *Throughout the review, I've included a few blocks of suggestions that I like to call "Bobo's Idea Corner." These are just some little ways that you might look at your kit from a different angle to help push it a bit further. Use them if you will; they are there to set you on a course if you want them to, or could lead you to completely new ideas. __________________ **Passive: Hextech Drones ** This is some pretty interesting stuff. I like this utility – especially that clicking on an enemy means the Atlas Drone will target them for you, and clicking on an ally means the Pulse Drone will target them. It’s pretty straight forward and unique. *For an ADC to have this kind of healing utility is a little dangerous, but because you don’t present any specific scaling stats, it might not be such a glaring issue. It’s just something to keep on the back burner. . . __________________ **Q: Tracking Shot** Hmmmm – this is a particularly interesting ability – a linear poke with a slow that then amplifies the next basic attack. It’s simple, but effective. Not much to take note of here. > *Bobo’s Idea Corner #1*: I would make this ability stem from Cyrus himself. Currently, your kit leaves Cyrus totally open every waking moment, and with a series of drones that are somewhat hard to operate, if you get confused as to where your abilities would come from at any given moment, a simple ability like this one would give you some better options. That way, one aility stems from Cyrus, the passive stems from both drones, one ability comes from Pulse, another one comes from Atlas, and the ult comes from both. It creates a harmonic balance within your kit, and gives your character’s positioning a little more importance as well. > > Pulse drone, thematically speaking, sounds more like your shield, and Atlas drone is more like your sword. To make things less confusing for the player, it might be best to assign one drone with offensive capabilities and the other with defense. > > *Re-tweaking this might mean that you would need to find another way to build healing stacks with your passive (since you currently need the Pulse Drone’s CC outlets to do so), but that might be a necessary sacrifice for the sake of clarity. > > Totally just an idea. __________________ **W: Redeploy** This is the part that really screamed Orianna for me. This ability, in a nutshell, already exists – without the part of it returning to you. It might use some tweaking to get it to be a bit more original, and it’s not like that’s 100% necessary, but I strongly recommend it. > *Bobo’s Idea Corner #2*: Lets say, for instance, that this ability used the Pulse Drone instead. Like I mentioned back in “Bobo’s Idea Corner #1,” Atlas drone is more like your sword, and Pulse drone sounds more like your shield. > > With this in mind, let’s focus on this particular ability on hand; this is a great chance to send out the Pulse Drone instead to deploy the shield. Meaning, *THIS* could be your way of providing heal stacks for your passive – if a shielded player receives damage from enemy abilities, each instance of damage could add a heal token to your passive reserve. > > Again, totally just an idea. > __________________ **E: Quasar** It sounds a lot like a ranged Lissandra W (or, more accurately, a significantly better version of Orianna’s Q). I might not use a ranged stun, but maybe a fear away from the Atlas Drone – like some kind of riot control device. It might make this a little more fair (considering your ADC character also has a ranged slow as well). > *Bobo’s Idea Corner #3*: If you apply my mechanic from *Bobo’s Idea Corner #1*, where your Q (Tracking Shot) stems from Cyrus himself, then you can more easily use Cyrus's aim to mark targets for your amplified basic attack. If the Alpha Drone is deployed, and if Q were still starting from the Atlas Drone, it would be much harder to hit targets, versus the much easier, cone-like view Cyrus would have of the Atlas Drone’s range from afar. > > *The one below is just another idea, unrelated to the last one, that you could use for this ability as well in case you wanted to differentiate it EVEN further; I just included a couple of different ways in which you could go about doing that . . . > *Bobo’s Idea Conrer #4*: If you made the atlas drone targeting a little bit like OG Yoric (IE: if you press E, it empowers an auto attack that tells the atlas drone where to go, and then the drone would zoom behind a target), that might be a way to differentiate your abilities a little more (plus that sort of spellcasting might flow well with basic attack targeting as well) > > Suppose this ability didn’t send-out a circular AoE burst that stunned, but rather made a chain of electricity between the two drones that damaged and stunned targets in a line. In theory, you could send out the Atlas Drone to a target, and if you re-activated the ability, you could damage and stunt targets between you and the Atlas Drone Also, if an ally is fleeing from an enemy, and if you used your passive to send the pulse drone to them, and then cast this E behind the enemy, this ability would strike between the Atlas and Pulse drones. Then, activating ult to taget the space between the drones would be devastating as well. > > Typically, you could also get away with better scaling abilities (both in damage and utility) if they have a linear hitbox influence versus a traditional, circular AoE (and it further separates you from Ori). > __________________ **R: Maelstrom** This is pretty nice, through and through. It has some great comboability – especially with E (Quasar) where you can effectively pin enemies between you and the Atlas drone, CC them, and then blast away. It’s pretty nice, and probably my favorite thing about the kit. Nicely done. __________________ **Art/Appearance:** Art is not a judge-worthy thing for the CCOS, since it is coined as a game design competition (and since making your own art is a rare time investment – serious props for that). Know that I’m more than willing to give you a couple art of tips going forward if you need them, and for now, I’ll do just that: Now I’m not here to comment on art ability – there’s a time and place for that of course – this is just a couple of notes on the appearance and concept work in general. I think a big portion of the concern comes from the drones being balls, and the silhouette that makes. Your character’s humanoid look doesn’t have any truly discernible features other than the helm shape and the ankle pieces, and those kinds of details could be exaggerated to make your character really stand out. You could also make the shape of the drones something other than balls - IE: Octahedrons, Boomerang-like things, etc., etc. Their shape seems to have little impact on their functionality. Keeping them as balls is probably your biggest visual grievance, and it's what most people would likely call you on. I personally don't mind it as much, but it's definitely something to be aware of. A humanoid with a hovering ball is, most definitely, Orianna. A very similar humanoid figure with *two* of them would likely be confusing to a lot of people. Part of what makes League champs so recognizable is that they can be easily recognized by a mere silhouette – they have very discernable, physical features that are unique to their character, and can usually be seen across all of their skins and splash art. These details could even be somewhat subtle, but they still go a long way; like the circular handles around Draven’s axes, or Nidalee’s leg warmer things. Then there's the brass and silver colors of the metal. That might be a little concerning – given that directly ties to Orianna’s pre-existing embroidery palette. Granted, you do have some color coding going on with the drone pair, as well as the brown (leather?) chestpiece and thighs, which certainly helps, but your character still comes off looking strikingly similar to Ori. I’m not saying you should go and change these things, especially because you’ve already worked hard on this one, but these tips just some general things to pay attention to when formulating the look of future champions. __________________ **Lore:** I figure there is definitely more of this coming when you say the expanded lore will be here soon, and I gave you a couple of tips on Discord a little while ago. I’d say that you could further solidify this character’s role as a guardian, by demonstrating just how fearsome these drones can be at apprehending people. You’re already on a pretty decent track as far as narrative and themes are concerned – keep at it! __________________ **Overall:** The thing is, this kit is about a 60/40 split in borrowed/original content - 40% seems to be drawn from a few pre-existing control mage kits (ironically including Orianna). The other 60% is a little more on the original side. It has enough flare of its own within the kit to be different, but it’s teetering on the edge here. . . Cyrus may be an ADC, but he comes across as more of an AD castor at times. He has a frightening amount of CC for a traditional ADC, along with the ability to heal allies. Now, because this concept does not have specific range, cooldowns, or damage statistics, a lot of the nuts and bolts of this kit cannot be put under laborious scrutiny, it seems to stand well enough on its own without those figures present. Cyrus is a pretty solid idea in general, it might be a bit on the Ori side of things, and its ADC identity might be bogged down a bit by your kit mechanics and utility, but you’ve got some content in here that is pretty solid and likable. Well done - definitely keep up the good work!
Thanks for the review! The main reason why it's the Atlas drone that's utilized in the W is so that it effectively moves your autoattack range from Cyrus's position to the target ally. In return, I don't envision the shield being very big.
Echoing (NA)
: Arakadia is right, Serpexnessie is entirely different from Skylarke. That you immediately associated drones with Skylarke is a fascinating connection.
Our usernames do both start with an S and end with an E though
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] November CCOS Entry Time! Enter Here!
Rioter Comments
: Champion Concept: Oberon - The Iron Paladin
Have a review d-(^.^)z Passive - Honestly, this is probably the worst part of the kit. Because half of your healing to charge it up is on an offensive, self-healing ability, and the damage charging requires you to, well, deal damage, which is a lot harder to accomplish without a long-ranged poke ability, so, your passive honestly seems a bit too feast or famine. For a champion like what you've got, I'd say you should scrap the passive, and replace it with something more fitting to the theme of being a holy knight. Q - Kinda boring, honestly, but nothing problematic. I'd consider perhaps adding a small slow it, but maybe that might be a bit too much. W - I like this ability. It's honestly pretty unique, and it's a great supportive ability, so I'd consider changing your champion to become a support, instead of a toplaner or jungler. E - I think you should reword "self-stun" to something else, since It just sounds so harmful, despite it not really being much of a stun in the first place. Otherwise, solid ability, nothing that problematic. R - It looks fine. Overall Thoughts: Your concept looks pretty good, honestly. There's really nothing major for me to pick on, aside from the passive. I'd say to think of a new passive that fits the ability, and the concept should be gucci. Also, I like your post's formatting! The numbers are arranged in a way that doesn't disrupt or disturb the ability descriptions, so I can clearly read and understand what the abilities to! Props on you! :D
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] October Results Are (Finally) Here!
Wow, I did way better than I expected. Yay!
: Just a few things: I know the idea sounds good, but Rito already tested that kind of thing for Jinx with her minigun, and decided it sucks. Also, 1 build option might exist that is a little OP that no one seems to have mentioned.... on hit. Seriously, with a wits end, that's 400 magic damage JUST from the on hit. In one second. Honestly, add a guinsoos and runaans, and you can melt an entire team in a few seconds. In my eyes, it seems a bit like Kog'maw, but deals more damage early, more damage late, and more burst/shred, at the cost of a small bit of safety.
No, it doesn't work like that for RED. On-hit effects proc at the rate of regular people's basic attacks, so... very slowly.
: Love the lore, a great backstory is key to a characters ability to be liked and helps imprint there playstyle into your mind: Hope you don't mind but I'd like to comment on something's that would point out some new points. 1: Passive: Love the passive, this idea always comes to my mind when I think of a stream based ADC where auto attacking is all click and poke. Attack speed: so u said attack speed 10.0 I like that idea but may need to have an adjustment, maybe a scaling high attack speed base would be better. For example: 4/7/9/10/12 at levels 1/3/5/7/9 As on hit affects still proc an empower ability like if she were to unload a full clip onto a champ its reload time is reduced otherwise tanks would destroy her before she could do anything. 2: Q – The elusive red: A kiting and catching ability great, like the idea of the little red riding hood theme as it warwick makes me think of the big-bad wolf. Friend or foe you chose. Feels like a urgot w, if that right like it’s like an auto trace ability. ADC need versatility and wave clear even Vayne as wave clear which is best demonstrated by her static tumble auto attack which make lane clear easy. Q bonus movement speed and maybe increased ad % scale over a short time, just needs something that can mow down minions etc. Maybe cause the q to have increased attack damage against minions or champions below 30% health but that’s the idea that I think is important with an ADC especially pairing it with your ult. (ap/ad scaling?) could work with {{item:3116}} 3: W- Flick My biggest problem is it effectiveness in kiting and engaging even if u hit the slow the distance would still be a problem to cover. Especially since its range is bigger than your auto range, would having it have a small range maybe 500 make it better for engage and kiting with it knockback as you wouldn’t want a melee champ that close. (ap/ad) {{item:3285}} R: ULT – Howling Bullets: Love the Ult , it’s like a master Yi Q where It hits each champion but not needing to dive into the action, has great versatility when coming into a team fight late or finishing off a team-fight. The premade weakness of being a squishy ADC makes the missing health damage way more viable. Nothing In the Ult needs to change. (Ap scaling / ad scaling could make it work with {{item:3165}} Final words: Love to see some scaling ideas: like ap ad ratios friends and foes: An some general concept art of her look Ap/ ad mix match adc would be cool KEEP IT UP I LOVE THE IDEA
The art is literally at the front of the post ;_;
: Oh, I did forget a passive! Silly me! I was thinking he would also have mana, but forgot to put that down, so you got me there. The thing with his W being pointless was almost for comedic purposes. Most champions would like to get up and fight, but he just runs away at a much higher speed. Perhaps it could become a passive, I'll think about it! Thank you for the review. It's very bare-bones right now, as it was just an idea I had floating around in my head.
Perhaps it could be a passive that automatically activates at low HP?
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] October CCOS Entry Time! Enter Here!
Rioter Comments
: Unnamed Cowboy Champion Idea Thing.
Have an unnecessarily long review! ( >ω<)/ Resource Bar: I hope this guy also uses mana in addition to that, or else you'd have a champion with resourceless poke, assuming his Q would have decent range Otherwise, It shouldn't be *as* much of an issue, but still... Passive: Oh wait, you don't have a passive. Get on that. Q: I don't see any problems here. W: Kind of a pointless ability, since your E is already a dash. Additionally, t's not all too practical, and it's kinda boring, since it's just a movement speed bonus. E: No real problems here either. R: The first ult is definitely better than the second one, so use that one. The second ult wouldn't have much in terms of counterplay, while being boring, because it's just point and click damage. The first ult would solidify the kit as being more of an artillery mage. However, In that case, for the earlier missing passive, using the bullets for auto attacks as well, for at least some kind of consistent, ranged damage. Overall: Pretty solid foundation here, but It could be better. The abilities so far are great, but very generic for a cowboy concept. I've got a concept with pretty much the exact same Q and E. I'd suggest adding something to make this champion more integrated with the lore, rather than just generic cowboy #22.
: I'm glad people enjoyed Varia! I'll do my best to make my next submission even better! Edit: My one problem: I feel as though the Outreach bonus shouldn't be multiplied by the amount of judges, because I noticed that certain champions scored higher than others on the list if you took away the 30 points granted by the bonus. For example, Marche by Villainous recieved 211 without the Outreach bonus, which Qing only earned 184. Actually, Marche should technically take 3rd place, as with the 30 point bonus, they got 241. You miiiiight wanna go over a few numbers again before it's too late. Edit 2: Results without the Outreach Bonus: Sylva: 271 Fronde: 253 Marche: 211 Varia: 210 Typhon: 205 Derrigan: 202 Hiro: 202 Prismiya: 200 Avonna: 198 Mek: 185 Qing: 184 Nyx: 181 Maddox: 176 Vis'Ona: 166 Kardum: 153 Hikari: 129 Zell: 116 Rob: 99 Tsaaris: 97 Bela: 91 Now, add their three separate Outreach Bonuses: Sylva: 291 Fronde: 283 Marche: 241 Typhon: 235 Prismiya: 230 Avonna: 228 Qing: 214 Varia: 210 Derrigan: 202 Hiro: 202 Nyx: 199 Vis'Ona: 186 (Might be 196 but The Djinn gave 0 points for it?) Mek: 185 Kardum: 180 Maddox: 176 Hikari: 129 Tsaaris: 122 Zell: 116 Rob: 99 Bela: 91 While Sylva, Fronde, and Marche are still the 100% top three, places around 4th and 5th have changed dramatically. Derrigan and Hiro, two highly-rated concepts, have been relegated to 9th and 10th place from 6th and 7th. Qing, who wasn't even Top 10, placed 7th. Prismiya in 8th place found herself in the Top 5, while Varia, the former 4th place, took her 8th place spot. Adding an incentive to be nice is good, but by multiplying the bonus by number of judges, that makes it basically mandatory which isn't great for people who might not be able to be on the Boards as often. If it were a static 10 points for a review, then results might be more fair in respecting those who had highly-rated concepts. Results with a static 10 point bonus: Sylva: 281 Fronde: 263 Marche: 221 Typhon: 215 Prismiya: 210 Varia: 210 Avonna: 208 Derrigan: 202 Hiro: 202 Qing: 194 Nyx: 191 Mek: 185 Maddox: 176 Vis'Ona: 176 Kardum: 163 Hikari: 129 Zell: 116 Tsaaris: 107 Rob: 99 Bela: 91 These results still emphasize the importance of the Outreach bonus, as it once again allows Prismiya to break into the Top 5 while booting Varia out, but it doesn't drastically shift rankings compared to giving each judge Outreach Points to give. I accept the results of this CCOS, but in the future I think fewer points for the Outreach Bonus might be needed.
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] August Results Are Here!
What kind of place is "Third-and-a-half"?! (╬ ಠ益ಠ)
Ruiya (NA)
: Champion Idea : Ryna The Rising Phoenix
Hi, a bit late, but if you don't mind, here's my review of your concept: Firstly, I'd say to look at similar champions for ability numbers. For example with the first form, you could use Kayle's heal as a benchmark for the Q. Next, your kit doesn't mesh very well with the theme of "Phoenix", and to be honest, all the abilities are rather... boring. I'll be going through them individually: --- Starting form: [P] - How does she get wisps? Do you have to pick them up? Do they automatically float to you? Approximately what level will the average player transform at? You need to be a more specific on the details. [Q] - As I said, look at the numbers of other similar abilities. Healing 5% missing health every 30 seconds is very low. Aside from that, it's a very boring point-and-click heal that doesn't do anything else but, well, heal. [W] - Again, 45 seconds is a long time to wait to grant 10% bonus movement speed or attack speed. Even then, it's not much. That's as much movement speed as a luden's echo and less attack speed than a dagger. 15% bonus attack damage for yourself is reasonable, but It doesn't synergize with your vision of the starting form being a support, because, well, it gives AD to yourself. And even then, it makes even less sense, because the champion's supposed to be AP. And on top of all that, this is a very boring and underwhelming ability. It's just a point and click buff. [E] - 45 seconds for one stun is..... very... very weak. It'd also help to know what her basic attack range is as well. On top of that, it's kinda boring and underwhelming, especially since it's on an immobile melee champion. [R] - Again, 120 seconds for a dash and a stun. A POINT AND CLICK dash and stun, based off your wording. Remove the staff-throwing part and what do you get? Just a boring ol' "dash to the enemy and stun them". If the stun isn't very long, then it will be a near-useless ultimate. If the stun is very long? There is no counterplay. Starting Form: Role and Gameplay - You are a support that has a very crappy heal, a point-and-click stun with nothing but her ult as mobility to get into range, and an attack damage buff. For yourself. On an AP champion. Starting Form (Conclusion) - Overall, this says nothing about the champion's theme at all, and It has little synergy with itself. There's nothing to work off of here, and nothing unique to this champion at all, and most of all, It does not do ~~a good~~ any job at being a support. But that's okay, right? After all, this champion will transform, right? Wrong. --- Phoenix form: [P] - ⁣ **I T ' S ⁣ A ⁣ T H R E E ⁣ H I T ⁣ P A S S I V E** Also, needs to be more specific. "Burning effect" says nothing about the ability, and I'll assume the "3 hits" mean with basic attacks. Also, boring ability. [Q] - Why is this not her W instead? This does practically the same thing as her pre-transformation W, but even worse, as she can't use it on teammates. Again, 10% movement speed isn't much, 15% attack bonus does nothing for an AP champion, and am I reading this right? Does the ability go from granting 10% attack speed to 5%? That's literally around the same amount as an attack speed quint! There really isn't any point in this ability, since it's only on 10 seconds, and you might as well just put all these in her basic stats. There's many better ways of windowing a champion's power, which is what I assume you tried to go for here. [W] - What's the hitbox shape of the scythe? What's the cooldown of the ability after you pull in a target? Additionally, this ability practically invalidates her passive, since she can just cast the ability once instead of using three basic attacks on an enemy to achieve the same effect. [E] - 15 seconds on a stun isn't too bad. It's still as boring before, but at least it's less absurd as before. Oh wait, it's not a stun anymore, IT'S A ROOT! Seriously, why? Also, what kind of bonus damage? Bonus damage on all abilities? Bonus damage on all autos? Another thing I'm noticing is that this champion has no mobility at all, aside from a movement speed "buff" that gives her the same movement speed a luden's echo would. If this champion is a squishy AP carry as you suggest, then she's practically useless against any champion with any sort of mobility. Also it's a boring ability, do I even need to mention that? [R] - The wording on this ability is very vague. What do you mean by spin? her scythe's flame? It seems like if a champion has any kind of mobility at all, they can just move out of the ability's range. And am I reading this right, or does she not do damage with the ability instantly? Just a bleed and a burn? Why not just combine them both into one heavy DoT effect? Starting Form: Role and Gameplay - You are an immobile "AP" autoattacker who has no sustain, range, or tankiness, and barely anything that works off of AP. Phoenix Form (Conclusion) - This is ever-so-slightly stronger than her previous form, but to be blunt, it still sucks. It still suffers from a lack of a clear identity, It's very prone to being kited, and it does nothing to reflect the theme of being a phoenix. You'd think the champion would be an AP autoattacker from it's passive, but the Q increases your AD. Alright, fine, AP auto attacker then, but it's W completely negates everything and does the same thing, but better. Even then, this champion also has no way to actually even get close to enemies to do damage. Nothing about this kit screams "AP carry" or "Phoenix" to me, and barely even resembles anything remotely useful. All I see is a generic fire scythe wielder. --- Conclusion: A phoenix is characterized by re-birthing abilities and fire, but I barely see any of those in the kit at all, and the fire is just tact-on as a three-hit-passive DoT. Speaking of the Phoenix theme, that in and of itself is honestly very boring, and not in-depth enough. How does this champion fit in with league's narrative? How does it differentiate itself from nearly every other phoenix out there, including Anivia? Also, is the champion a human or a phoenix? I can't tell at this point. Your one unique gimmick, the transforming, is already done by Kayn, who also does the transforming mid-game thing and does it better. Generally, the transformed kit will resemble the original one, but have slight nuances that completely change the way the champion is played. Going back to Kayn here, his transformed abilities are the same as his base form ones, but gain a few additional effects that changes his playstyle completely. Sorry if I sound harsh, but honestly, this entire champion is a mess, and all over the place. None of the abilities are distinct at all, and the kit does not flow well. and does not reflect the champion's very basic theme. I'd suggest re-doing everything, because there is literally nothing to work off of here. Also- in response to your comment down there- >Also forgot to say, I'm sorry for mentally hurting your brain with all the reading. You're assuming too little of your reader's mental capacity. Heck, this review is longer than your actual concept.
Echoing (NA)
: I should say no, but "dark and mysterious past" is still better than nothing. Entry confirmed!
It's a clean two words over the average
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] August CCOS Entry Time! Enter Here!
Entering [Prismiya, the Gliding Guillotine](
Rioter Comments
: The Archives [Content Creator Archive Thread]
--- >#Serpexnessie's Champion Concepts (Art Included) --- ⁣ --- #**[Hoodoo, the Spiny Sheriff](** ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣⁣Juggernaut ⁣ ⁣ ~~|~~⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ 3rd Place, [2017 July CCOS]( --- #**[Prismiya, the Gliding Guillotine](** ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Assassin ⁣ ⁣ ~~|~~⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ "3rd-and-a-half Place", [2017 August CCOS]( --- #**[RED, the Crimson Blur](** Marksman ⁣ ⁣ ~~|~~⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ 2nd Place, [2017 October CCOS]( --- #**[Cyrus, the Peacekeeper](** Marksman (hybrid Enchanter) ⁣ ⁣ ~~|~~⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ **1st Place**, [2017 November CCOS]( --- #**[Tor, the Techmaturgical Thermomancer](** Burst Mage ⁣ ~~|~~⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Results Pending, 2018 April CCOS
Echoing (NA)
: [CCOS] July Results Are Here!
For a first-timer, I think I did well. Now I gotta remember to do an outreach for the next one...
: Scuse me, this should be top post. Something this amazing.
: I do like this, but I feel that his Q is missing something. Simply because most people would just walk out of range of the aura and would just ignore them instead of attacking it. Also the fact that you can only put out one seems kinda limiting, especially with the interaction of his E. Maybe lower the cooldown or up the duration and remove the impassable effect. I say this because I feel like spawning multiple cacti to make his E a bigger threat would be a cool idea. Removing the impassable effect would avoid abuse cases of boxing people in. It would need a cc effect instead then to compensate for the limitations as a single ability. Maybe have it sprout from the ground after a slight delay and if a target is hit they are knocked up or snared and take his passive damage on hit? Seems thematically appropriate. Also if he could spawn multiple, it would give people more incentive to destroy them despite the effects of doing so. I have a question regarding his ult, is it centered on Hoodoo? As in the circle moves with him until it activates, because the would open up interesting combinations with how you have his w working. Also minor nitpick, I feel his Q and E should be swapped as spells. Reason being because it would follow most champ designs by Riot where the Q is the bread-and-butter/important skill. Not saying the current Q isn't important, just that E is probably going to be the first skill leveled, used the most, and gives him consistent ranged poke.
His ult would be initially centered on Hoodoo, but it doesn't move. (Think jarvan ult)
Cactopus (NA)
: I approve of this champion RITO PLS
I swear, you made my heart skip a beat.
: Never to late to "take inspiration" ;) as the judging process hasn't started yet and the deadline isn't quite here yet! Oh, and thanks! Edit: Wth, your story is amazing! Although I'd personally like to get a better understanding on why Antonio's mind summoned a creature that was a bandit cactus, the over all story is great! I'd change this part tho, the entire tome thing seems kinda far fetched IMO and you've proven to be a pretty damn good story writer. >Wishing for his imaginary friend to become real and save the day, he peeked out at a shiny tome half-hidden in a bloodied bag. Opening it up, it was his tribe's secret tome that the bandits somehow missed, which contained powerful spells to create magical beings. Antonio vowed to make his imaginary friend real, and together, like his dreams, would travel the world and fight those who would dare threaten innocent lives. He took a deep breath, and took aim at a nearby cactus.
Ah, alright. I'll change that, thank you!
: Hey, interesting concept with some cool ideas! I have some constructive criticisms about hoodoo if you dont mind. Firstly, his passive affords him a lot of ambient damage, something that Riot has started to avoid. That's not to say that its entirely a bad idea, just something to be careful with. Personally, I would have it only be active for X seconds after each of his spell casts (and maybe even auto attacks) with a clear visual indication that it is active. This makes the effect more clear in gameplay, and also would feel more interactive. His Q and E have an interesting interaction that allow for players to improve their skill on the champion, though you have labeled him as a juggernaut, which are traditionally defined as: Champions with high damage and survivability but low range in compensation. Very seldom do defensive champions have ranged abilities, and when they do it is for a very specific purpose or with a special condition holding it back. The range isnt that high overall, but the ability to extend it I fear would add a lot of long ranged co trip. Also, having to spemd the time to auto attack a structure and break it is punishment enough. Take Yorick's wall for an example of terrain that only takes 2 hits to break and causes a lot of panic. His W is really cool, and until Kayne I don't think any other champion has had a sticking mechanic like that. Even then, its quite different and interesting. The R is really cool too, especially the condition that allies can leave, but he can not. It really emphasizes his "defender of justice" theme. Overall I think a "sticky juggernaut" is a cool idea but I also think the kit could use a little work. For example, what is the clear concequence of not removing Hoodoo? If he had an effect like an aoe that goes off after 4 seconds or a stacking effect like tahm kench, there would be a clear reason foe the hoodoo player to want to stick as long as possible, and for the enemies to keep him off. Good luck, hope this helps!
Actually, the passive does work like how you described. I'd imagine his ambient damage to be around sunfire cape's level, and increased to about around than a garen E. I also provided a visual indicator in the accompanying ability graphic. For his Q, It's comparable to trundle pillar. Also, unlike a Yorick W, it doesn't completely block off an enemy, but alright, I will lower Cactus heath. And for your last part, I'll add a sort of stacking mechanic. Thanks for your suggestions! ;D
GI Jho (NA)
: A very nice (and rather funny) concept you've got here. Also, how did you do the graphics for the style and power scale portions?
I mostly just searched up a formatting guide for the LoL boards, and went from there. For the power scale, I used a bunch of minus signs and emojis.
: *I'm posting it again in case you don't get notifications from replies on other comments* _____ I'm a huge lore-whore and as soon as I saw these questions I immediately started crafting a real backstory for him. Here's my somewhat acknowledgeable, yet amateur attempt: >What is he (maybe Vestaya...)? The first idea that struck my mind was that he was some sort of golem created by an old tribe that used to roam the Shuriman deserts. It was a time, long before the Noxian invasion, a time where Demacia was but a dream. The tribe included powerful shamans who had settled down, surviving the ferocious living conditions thanks to their magic. They had long known about the threat that lurked under the dunes, the vicious Xer'Sai. A race born from the shadows from a distant world, plaguing the realm of men. The tribe had to do something, to prolong the inevitable. Although there was hope, they would all suffer the bitter end. Before the mighty queen of the Xer would tie the knot herself. >Where does he come from (other then Shurima)? The Shaman, head of the tribe, knew she had to come up with a solution. Therefore she summoned HooDoo with only sparse resources at her disposal, cacti. The tribe had always found their land sacred, willing to slay nosey explorers and relentless merchants salvaging the lands. Yet, in order to protect their people, they had to use what they once held so dearly. The cacti (fkin dramatic lol). The golems were worshipped like gods, divine beings that stood between them and the beasts. The tribe embellished the creatures with garments enchanted to make them endure the spiteful drought as well as rejuvenating properties. > What is his goal (other then filling bandits with needles)? Each time the Bells of the sand-gliders rung in the distance, the HooDoo as they're called, would wake from their slumber and protect the tribe. Day and night, through storms and droughts. Nothing would stand in their way, nothing but Rek´Sai. It was an eire night, the sands laid flat as the southern winds peacefully made their way over the dunes. Until the tremors started, tremors like the village had never experienced before. The shaman glanced out in the shivering sands, from the dark a purpur light emerged from the distance. Then, an ear-splitting screech filled the once silent night, alarming the HooDoo. The tremors continued, they got more intense as the purple haze came closer. And then. From nowhere, the earth shattered. A beast bigger than ever before witnessed. The beast rammed through the village, crushing everything in it's path. The cacti guardians didn't stand a chance, crumbling one after another, disappearing in a green smog. The shaman knew this was the end, she channeled her power, searching for the very essence of this sacred desert. She embraced the last HooDoo with her own power, draining herself and giving up her life as a last resort. The fight went on all night between the HooDoo and the Xer'Sai queen, thorns against fangs, scales against brute force. ...At the break of dawn, there were nothing but mere memories of a once powerful tribe, shattered by the unnatural forces that came to curse Shurima's future. The only thing standing was a lone cactus, in search his long lost creator. >What are his motives? To aimlessly find it's creator and make up for what happened. >Why is he a cactus with a hat? No fkin clue lol, maybe it was a tribute from the tribe, although why would they have a Sheriff's hat... So here's my lackluster concept of his backstory, hope it can be somewhat useful lol.
I actually finished with the lore expansion (You can read it now under "Lore"), and I think i did a way worse job than you. Oh well, I tried.
Okg11 (EUW)
: Someone have been watching digimon lately *cough* Togemon.
Any similarities are purely coincidental.
: British Columbia would like to have a word with you.
Alberta, more specifically. Haven't seen many cacti here.
Candurill (EUW)
: Hey there :D Cool concept!!! Its really getting some nice attention on the boards ^^ So I thought, let me give my thoughts :P First of all, I find the whole "living cactus idea" very funny and original (and its probably what most people like about him). My only concern with it is that it feels more like a skin (april fools or something) then an actual champion thematic. The lore, while nicely written, is too short to really establish him into the world of Runeterra. What is he (maybe Vestaya...)? Where does he come from (other then Shurima)? What is his goal (other then filling bandits with needles)? What are his motives? Why is he a cactus with a hat? He just does not (yet) feel like he fits into the overal lore and theme of League of legends... His passive: VERY fitting for his theme!!! And really makes him a good tank of sorts. Maybe do something with melee champions aa'ing him? Other then that very little remarks :D His Q: this is pretty much a Trundle Ice pillar with some extra combo possibilities with his passive and other abilities. I'm not disliking it but I'd try and make it more unique in some way... His W: Almost say that the second cast would make for an awesome ultimate if you gave it some more power (somehow). The first cast is good as an ability on its own, just seems a bit lack-luster to put the two together in one ability. His E: Awesome ability, not much to say about it :) Nice combo with his Q. His R: As I said, his current second cast on his W would fit here perfectly, including the name (I mean, hug of death...must I say more?). The current ability is fine too though. Final thoughts: All in all a cool champion concept ^^ Nice idea for a tank you do NOT want to stand next to XD I love the way he can stick to enemies and think you should focus on that thematic when (or if) you look over some of his abilities. A big, living, hat wearing cactus that wil hug you to death sounds like an amazing idea to me ^^ I'd also put some more energy in the lore and try to establish him in the world or League of legends some more. That will really go a long way in the CCOS :) I must mention that I only give feedback out of my own experience with league and the CCOS...I've made a lot of concepts already, but I'm still learning aswel so take some of my feedback with a grain of salt. I'd hate to have my feedback change Hoodoo so much that he wanders from what you originally wanted him to be :) I wish all the luck to you in the CCOS and may the best concept win ^^
Thanks! ;D I'm planning on expanding his backstory by a lot, so expect that coming later today. Also, I added a new effect to his Q.
Rux100 (NA)
: I love it! A few things to add though: I feel a cactus should do some sort of bleed damage... perhaps he could do a stacking bleed? His passive could, instead of this constant ticking damage, emit a pulse every 4 seconds or so, and enemies caught in that pulse receive a stack of... let's call it "poked holes", haha. Enemies hit by abilities will gain "poked holes" as well, and it can stack up to 5 times. I know this sounds very similar to the Darius passive, but it just seems odd to not give a cactus bleed damage in some way. The Q is nice, the only consideration I could offer is maybe upon despawn, it could shoot spikes for small damage and cause additional slow? Like a dying Shaco clone, or Wukong clone. His W at level 1 lasts for 4 seconds? That seems like a very long time, I thought Morgana stuns were scary at level 1. I might consider toning that one down a bit. For the E, when cast while Q is active, is it similar to Lulu's pix: do both Hoodoo and the cactus home in on the direction based on their respective positions, or is this ability a fixed direction at all times? Also, you said "4 shots in each direction", but then added that "enemies take reduced damage from subsequent spikes" so which is it? Do all four spikes follow the cursor, or does only one follow the cursor while the other 3 fire at separate angles? For the Ult, is Hoodoo immobile during the ult, or no? I think I'd like to see him immobile, and let the cacti bring the enemies in for a real hug >:D also if you can dash through the wall, can you walk through it? I'm a noob compared to most other players, so take my comments any way you want, I am simply expressing my interest in your idea and I really hope to see it!! It actually made me laugh at first, the first thing I thought of was this cactus character on my daughter's TV show, and he's a bit of a goofball himself. Riot, give this guy your attention!! {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-thumbs}}
> [{quoted}](name=Rux100,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=gjxNEwnm,comment-id=000a,timestamp=2017-07-17T09:29:33.422+0000) > > His W at level 1 lasts for 4 seconds? That seems like a very long time, I thought Morgana stuns were scary at level 1. I might consider toning that one down a bit. Good idea. > > For the E, when cast while Q is active, is it similar to Lulu&#x27;s pix: do both Hoodoo and the cactus home in on the direction based on their respective positions, or is this ability a fixed direction at all times? Also, you said &quot;4 shots in each direction&quot;, but then added that &quot;enemies take reduced damage from subsequent spikes&quot; so which is it? Do all four spikes follow the cursor, or does only one follow the cursor while the other 3 fire at separate angles? Yeah, I imagine it to be similar to Lulu's Q with lulu and pix, but with 2 smaller shots on both sides and another on the back. The spikes have a fixed distance towards eachother, but they follow the cursor's durection. I'll include an illustration later for clarification. > > For the Ult, is Hoodoo immobile during the ult, or no? I think I&#x27;d like to see him immobile, and let the cacti bring the enemies in for a real hug &gt;:D also if you can dash through the wall, can you walk through it? > You can't walk through it, I should clarify that. > I&#x27;m a noob compared to most other players, so take my comments any way you want, I am simply expressing my interest in your idea and I really hope to see it!! It actually made me laugh at first, the first thing I thought of was this cactus character on my daughter&#x27;s TV show, and he&#x27;s a bit of a goofball himself. Riot, give this guy your attention!! > > > {{sticker:slayer-pantheon-thumbs}} Aw, thanks ;D
Grau (NA)
: [EDIT] I just realized the art was done by you, that is super cool and it looks great! Don't think I've ever seen a cactus concept for a champion before, that's a really interesting theme! The damage numbers themselves would be a big determiner on whether or not he's fun and quirky or overpowered. Ambient damage being the bulk of damage on a juggernaut (since they are known for having quite high damage!) would be problematic, especially if he has the ability to just grab you and stick. His cooldowns are for the most part very high. There would be a lot of downtime between spells where he will be stuck just walking around doing nothing. Hoodoo's kit does seem to lend itself more towards being a tank than a juggernaut, he's got lots of ambient damage, a targetted dash to get into range, and has a good amount of crowd control/area control with his cacti, slow on e, and his ult. If you do end up making some base stats and scalings for him I would consider looking into the stats that tanks have as opposed to juggernauts. His kit is more comparable to the likes of nautilus, amumu, and maokai than darius or illaoi. Overall excellent concept, I can't find much to criticize honestly! I think you should take a stab at damage values on his abilities, it'll give a clearer idea of how he would function in lane.
> [{quoted}](name=Grau,realm=NA,application-id=A8FQeEA8,discussion-id=gjxNEwnm,comment-id=0001,timestamp=2017-07-17T02:33:10.490+0000) > > [EDIT] I just realized the art was done by you, that is super cool and it looks great! > Don&#x27;t think I&#x27;ve ever seen a cactus concept for a champion before, that&#x27;s a really interesting theme! > The damage numbers themselves would be a big determiner on whether or not he&#x27;s fun and quirky or overpowered. > Ambient damage being the bulk of damage on a juggernaut (since they are known for having quite high damage!) would be problematic, especially if he has the ability to just grab you and stick. > His cooldowns are for the most part very high. There would be a lot of downtime between spells where he will be stuck just walking around doing nothing. > Hoodoo&#x27;s kit does seem to lend itself more towards being a tank than a juggernaut, he&#x27;s got lots of ambient damage, a targetted dash to get into range, and has a good amount of crowd control/area control with his cacti, slow on e, and his ult. If you do end up making some base stats and scalings for him I would consider looking into the stats that tanks have as opposed to juggernauts. His kit is more comparable to the likes of nautilus, amumu, and maokai than darius or illaoi. > Overall excellent concept, I can&#x27;t find much to criticize honestly! I think you should take a stab at damage values on his abilities, it&#x27;ll give a clearer idea of how he would function in lane. Sure, I'll pull up some references and see what I can do, although, what numbers he does have are more based off other juggernauts. Also he's more intended as a jungler ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Show more


Level 52 (NA)
Lifetime Upvotes
Create a Discussion