: The junkyard workshop (Ask Rumble)
> Dear Rodent with Ugly Teeth, > > Nice one! Nice! But I have another one for ya! Enjoy the show! > > Yours truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** While the paper would have a shorter reply, at the moment when Rumble would even open the letter, his ears would be blasted to deafness by loud music. The music was loud enough to send scrap in his workshop or junk in the junkyard falling all over the place. Worst of all, there wasn't any clear or evident way to stop the music. It would just keep going in an endless loop for 2 days straight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Diu2N8TGKA
: This hammer has two sides, And it only takes one to win (Poppy Ask Thread)
> Dear Midget Thor, > > I am Thor! See me wield a hammer! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** In the letter would show a picture of a masked man wearing Viking clothes while raising a hammer in the air.
: Ask Lux!
Instead of a letter like all the previous times, a large package came with a taped letter to it addressing Luxana. > Dear Miss Double Rainbow, > > Enjoy the present! I thought of it myself! Hehehe! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** If Luxana would open the package, she'd find a jack-in-the-box. When turned and when the crank would stop, a puppet would jump out with a maniacal scream loud enough to most likely give her a fright. The puppet would have a white smiley mask showing it was indeed a prankster.
: A Lethal Masquerade((Ask Jhin))
> Dear Masky Artsy Guy with a Fancy Little Toy Gun, > > It's me again! I know that you've been wanting a letter from little old me, right? I've had lots of time to think about the last letter and my response is this. Enjoy cow pie. > > Yours ever truly, > J Instead of just a letter, a small package would come with it that had a stinky smell to it as if there was cow poo inside. If the artist would even open it, there would indeed be cow pies. **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Ask Ahri, the Kumiho
> Dear 9 Tailed Fox Lady with Pointy Ears, > > It's me again! Remember me?! No need to answer that! Of course, you did! Say, I have a question for ya! How do you hide all those tails?! 9 tails to hide? Talk about a huge task! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
TwiliZoe (NA)
: It's the End of the World as We Know It! Let's Play Tag! (Ask Zoe)
> Dear Yo-yo Girl, > > Saaaay, ever heard of ICE CONES?! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: "This is going to get messy..." (Ask Zac, the Zaun Amorphous Combatant)
> Dear Green Jello Man, > > Saaaay, do you taste good? You're like green jello! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: "Pandemonium follows me everywhere I go. It's like a puppy I once fed..." (A dance with Xayah.)
> Dear Chicken Lady, > > Can you fly? > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: "Zaun will fight back!" Ask Warwick, The Uncaged Wrath of Zaun
> Dear Woofy Man, > > You remind me of my childhood puppy, Wee Wee! Always fetched the bone and even bit a mailman in the arse! Do YOU play fetch or run after Zaun mailmen!? > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The Emberflit House (Ask Viktor 5.0)
The letter would come in the most clever disguise of a Zaun merchant. > Dear Mister Steam Guy, > > Hello! It's been a while! You miss me?! OF COURSE YOU DID! Say, do you need oil for your body?! I think you do! A token of good will my fellow tin man of Oz! > > P.S Also don't forget to use gasoline for those other parts of yours! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Here I Come To Save The Day...Or Wreck It. ((Ask Vi))
> Dear Punchy Punchy Lady with abnormally pink hair, > > How do you have pink hair huh?! Hair dye?! No wait! Chemical hair dye! Yeah! By the way, Piltover has nice views from tall buildings! My guest says so too! > > P.S Do you use deodorant? > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** Including with the letter would a picture of a man in a white smiley mask holding a crying Piltover man by his shirt over a high building while the masked person had a thumb up at the camera.
: Evil Lurks Around Every Corner (Ask Vayne/Open Rp)
> Dear Dark Lady with Nice Shades, > > So, you kill dark magic with crossbow bolts? Would you kill someone in a werewolf costume at night? > > P.S Magic Voo Doo is good Voo Doo > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: I bravely volunteer to charge in, recklessly! (Ask Tristana.)
> Dear Cannon Lady, > > Hey! Hey!! Can you fly with that cannon of yours?! Can you even fly over a river?! > > P.S A little secret is that Rumble's machine is named after you! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Ask Talon - The Blade's End
> Dear Hoody Man with Sharp Pointy Stuff, > > Be careful when leaping over high places! You might fall or crash into someone where you break your leg! Don't worry! I'll be there to document every second of it! > > P.S Do you brush your teeth with those blades you love so much? > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Let's Make A Deal (Ask Tahm Kench)
> Dear Fatso Catfish with a Large Tummy, > > Say, do you have issues with eating stuff? You seem always hungry or barfing out your food! Get medication! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Sovereignty Reigns [Ask Syndra]
> Dear Lady with Magic Voo Doo Balls of Death, > > Hello! This bring up memories?! I'm back with a glorious picture! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** There would be a picture of a person in a penguin suit...Hmmm... https://www.costume-shop.com/images/products/42156.jpg
: Let us transcend the limits imposed by our flesh together, in the name of science. (Approach Singed)
> Dear Evil Crazy Lab Guy who's Older than my Dead Grandpa, > > Ever given thought into becoming a bartender or a tavern owner? No?! You have the stuff for it! Shaken, not stirred! Although, your mixtures would kill everyone! Good luck with the horrid business! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Ask Shyvana
> Dear Rawring Dragon Lady, > > RAWR! I'm a dragon! Oh wait, I'm not purple! I only wear a smiley mask! Whew! Say, how do you condition those scales of yours? With a sword? > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The junkyard workshop (Ask Rumble)
> Dear Midget Fat Mohawk Midget with a Great Temper and a Large Fat Mouth, > > Hey! Hey!! Miss me?! HA! Of course you did! Who wouldn't?! Say, do you like cheese?! Well, you should since you look like a little mouse! Mice like cheese! Plus, with that flamethrower of yours, you could make NACHOS! > > P.S Don't forget to watch for mousetraps! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_** At the point that Rumble would open the letter, his fingers would find themselves in a cleverly set mousetrap that would snap at the opening of the letter.
: Ask Lux!
> Dear Rainbow Lady, > > RAINBOWS! THINK OF RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE!! YOU HERE ME?! THINK OF THEM!!! BRIGHT!!!! COLORFUL!!!! RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE AND SUGAR!!!!! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The Reaver's Territory (Ask Kha'Zix)
> Dear Buggy Man, > > Hey! So, do you like have stomach issues or something? No?! WOW! Hey, I have a question! Did my last letter scare away prey? If it did then, I think that was for the best! You really need to watch that weight of yours! One time on the lips and a lifetime on the hips fatso! > > P.S Try carrots and other veggies! They're healthy! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Black Leather and Silver Steel (Ask Katarina)
> Dear Red Headed Lady with Butter Knives, > > Hey! Been a while, huh? Well! i have a good question! Who's the most gorgeous of the sisters? Oh wait, it's neither since you'd stab any guy who'd try for your hand in romance! What did you say? Live a little while you can? Yeah, I think that's why you're not a romantic type! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The Castle in the Marsh (Ask Karthus)
> Dear Floating Ghosty Man, > > It's me again! Miss me? Rhetorical question! Of course you did! Who wouldn't?! Anyway, I need a book from your library...Do you have a book on romancing women? Oh wait! I think you need that more since you're a floating ghosty man! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: A Lethal Masquerade((Ask Jhin))
> Dear Guy who thinks he's an Artist, > > Making people art? Having their deaths become a thing like art? Holy crap! You ARE messed up in the head! Take my advice pal, ditch the mask since it's probably the thing making your brain tiny and also, make REAL ART OUT OF PAINTINGS! NOT BODIES! Art by dead bodies is just terrible... > > P.S I also recommend a therapist! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The Defender's Workshop (Ask Jayce 2.0)
> Dear Guy who thinks he's smart and handsome which he isn't, > > So, let me get this straight...You have a transforming hammer while having this massive ego of a brain, but you can't whack a metal helmet guy with a rod of magic voo doo? Like, Come on! Get in the game baldy! Sheesh! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Headquarters of the Dauntless Vanguard (Ask Garen)
> Dear Man with a Gigant Sword and Large Vocal Cords, > > Ya know, from how loud you scream "DEMACIA", you could make a musical out of it! Quit being a soldier and make a musical about yelling "DEMACIA" where many will adore it! Your vocal cords are strong enough! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Let Evelynn take over⁓ (ask the widowmaker)
> Dear Miss Demoness Lady with a Large Booty, > > I have to know, how much of a large booty do you have? Is it large like a treasure chest or is it something like a huge bag of gold? You have to make some money right? > > P.S What? You thought I meant the other definition of booty? NOPE! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Ask Annie, the Dark Child ( Her story begins in the ashes )
> Dear Little Pyromancer Girl with a Teddy, > > So, you control flames while having a teddy bear? Listen, you need to get a job girl...Maybe make smores! Yum! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Ask Ahri, the Kumiho
> Dear Miss Foxy Nine Tails, > > It's been a while! A question has come to mind, what do foxes eat? Can it be memories or the souls of others? Oo! Maybe they eat bunnies too! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: The Darkin of Blood and War
> Dear Freaky Thing with a Large Blade, > > So, let me get this straight...You crush armies while yelling miserable words? Take this advice kind sir...GET A THERAPIST! Grudges aren't good! > > Yours ever truly, > J **_There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name_**
: Let's put on our thinking caps! (Ask Lulu)
> Dear Miss Mage, > > Apparently my husband has found joy in writing troll letters...Please accept and enjoy. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > > Kia _**There would be an angelic wing stamp under her name and a box full of yummy purple frosted cupcakes**_
: Ask Lucian, The Purifier.
> Dear Mister who has drama issues, > > So you're wife was stolen? Big whoop. Get a new one. > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Plans within plans... (Ask Lissandra)
> Dear Ice Cream lady, > > ICE CREAM!!! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=F1OzBNdX,comment-id=000f,timestamp=2018-05-07T07:12:20.451+0000) > > _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name only when opened it would let a VERY loud blast of [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBLdQ1a4-JI) through whatever building or structure it was in and would keeping looping. To make matters worse, even destroyed the spell would keep going for hours.**_ Whoever delivered the letter was dead, and their children? dead, as a matter of fact even the grocer who once gave a particularly large discount to the messenger is dead. The Pale Sorceress is not fond of childish jokes.
> [{quoted}](name=Pale Sorceress,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=F1OzBNdX,comment-id=000f0000,timestamp=2018-05-12T00:19:15.726+0000) > > > Dear Miss Mage, > > Please don't try such things against my husband or us again. Granted he sent troll letters for you, I'll let it slide as he's still alive...Only facing punishment in my Mother's jail cells. Please accept and enjoy. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia > > P.S Don't try to kill J...You'll fail. _**There would be an angelic wing stamp under her name and a book of spells full of new and rather interesting spells made for creating illusions and tricking people**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=yWfBHFoU,comment-id=00a4,timestamp=2018-05-07T07:01:52.255+0000) > > -__________________________- Karthus wrote a quick reply to the mysterious J: "Dear J, At one time I had a relationship with a woman most dear, but that ended long ago with her death. I currently am not interested in seeking another. Regarding my vocal range, it seems to me that you have never heard a messed up chick scream. I do not believe I could emulate such a harrowing sound without the use of magic. Sincerely, Karthus."
> [{quoted}](name=AskKarthus,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=yWfBHFoU,comment-id=00a40000,timestamp=2018-05-07T15:36:21.552+0000) > > > Dear Mister Ghost, > > Love is a strong thing indeed and I should know from how I met "J" in the first place years ago...Now we're married and I've come to apologize from his apparent troll letters so please take this and enjoy. I think you'll find it ever so nice. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia > > P.S He has indeed heard messed up chicks scream and even more made them scream...Trust me. That's how we met. _**Under the name would be a pair of angelic wings stamped and a AC/DC CD for Karthus to jam to**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=unnhUu22,comment-id=0031,timestamp=2018-05-07T06:56:06.139+0000) > Gnar watched as the same courier returned repeating the endless cycle. He handed Gnar a letter this time opening it for him so that the return postage would be a little easier. Gnar held out the paper but this one was different as it appeared to have been written by some child. Gnar grabbed the paper and drew a picture of a baby yordle holding a rattle and then a quick thumbs up followed by his signature **_-GNAR_**. He handed the courier the letter and off he went to return to sender. He still could not understand what the smiley mask was... Maybe a signature?
> [{quoted}](name=PleaseAskGnar,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=unnhUu22,comment-id=00310001,timestamp=2018-05-07T20:15:35.927+0000) > > > Dear little one, > > Enjoy. > > Yours truly and forever, > Kia _**There would be a pair of angelic wings stamped under the name with a package of VERY freshly baked and rather yummy baked goods for Gnar**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=BhgEVrTH,comment-id=0005,timestamp=2018-05-07T06:51:10.885+0000) > > _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_ Dear J, It's unfortunate that a puny human like you would have such tall opinions of a great colossus such as myself. I truly do wish I could find a "hobby" but it seems that I really can't, as I spend most of my days, weeks, and years immobile due to my nature. It is truly unfortunate that you did not take this into account, yet understandable that such a small being would not have the mind to think of such a thing. Anyway, I do hope that your opinion of me, the protector of Demacia, will one day change. Either that, or we can duke it out with our fists and let might decided who is right. Galio Justice Justice {{champion:3}}
> [{quoted}](name=Galio J Justice,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=BhgEVrTH,comment-id=00050000,timestamp=2018-05-09T18:20:21.177+0000) > > > Dear Mister Giant, > > I have apparently found out my husband has trolled people with letters...So please accept this as an apology. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia > > P.S Don't tempt him...He can deal a rather mean strike against huge things... _**There would be a pair of angelic stamped wings under her name and some sculptures of Galio made from clay**_
: "All that grows in my field... (Ask Fiddlesticks)
> Dear Mr.Scarecrow, > > Apparently my husband has found joy in trolling people with letters. Please accept and enjoy. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia _**There would be a pair of angelic wings under the name and a box full of freshly cut meat for Fiddle's birds and even wax for his scythe**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=2yYiAHQz,comment-id=0013,timestamp=2018-05-07T06:47:38.506+0000) > > certainlyT not hyper. At this point it was growing tedious having letter neatly fall down on her head, she was many things but a mailbox? Well... she never tried it any case. Ripping it open the taunt inside made her audibly sigh to the corpse under her stiletto. Why she entertained a response was another mystery. J, How about I take yours then? You clearly have no use for yours. -Eve.
> [{quoted}](name=Ask Evelynn,realm=EUW,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=2yYiAHQz,comment-id=00130000,timestamp=2018-05-07T18:48:47.027+0000) > > > Dear miss Evelynn, > > Apparently my husband has found the joy in trolling letters and has sent countless ones in your world. As a sign of apology, please accept and use responsibly. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia > > P.S Please don't try to kill J or you'll find how much regret you'll have when you try... _**There would be a pair of angelic wings under her name and a box that would hold a rather VERY powerful bottle of alluring scent perfume for Evelynn to use**_
: > [{quoted}](name=SurelyNotHyper,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=FqNH5yFL,comment-id=0044,timestamp=2018-05-07T06:46:06.008+0000) >J Elise would stare at the letter and try to grasp the childness of the letter but simply could not understand why. Not that there was a reason to understand but at the same point it was like a child playing a game. Trying to make its parent angry or something _J_ **For one with such simply understanding your lack of beauty and understanding is illogical** Elise would place the ltter on one of the spiderlings who would take it and throw it out the door to find its way to whoever this idiot was
> [{quoted}](name=Spiders Envoy,realm=NA,application-id=jxzFAe03,discussion-id=FqNH5yFL,comment-id=00440000,timestamp=2018-05-07T20:53:16.029+0000) > > > Dear Miss Spider Queen, > > Apparently my husband has found joy in trolling people with letters...So I'm writing to fix things. As an apology, please accept and enjoy. They're from our world's best bakers... > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia _**There would be a set of drawn angelic wings under her name and a box of rather very beautiful baked sweets for Elise and her spiderlings**_
: The Kinkou grounds (ask Akali)
> Dear Miss from a ninja order, > > Apparently my husband has been trolling people with letters...And I have no idea how many he's apparently sent so I'm writing to fix whatever he's done. As an apology for his "behavior", I offer this to you. Please enjoy. > > Yours ever truly and forever, > Kia > > P.S He's currently being held in my Mother's jail cells and is being forced to play poker with others. _**There would be a set of angel wings under the name and a nicely wrapped blade with a dragon decoration on the sheath. When drawn, the blade had the Ionian words of "balance" over the metal**_
: OOC Lounge
_**J is writing letters as he would have evil chuckling only to stop when a woman would stand behind him with her arms crossed. Sweat would fall as her eyes would be glowing in frustration**_ "...Jest...You didn't..." "Did. :3" _**Facepalming herself, she dragged Jest away from the letters then began writing her own to fix such a mess**_
: A Grand Deception (Ask Leblanc)
> Dear Lady who Lies and should know lying is very bad, > > Lying is bad and for that, here's some punishment! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name only when opened it would let a VERY loud blast of [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBLdQ1a4-JI) through whatever building or structure it was in and would keeping looping. To make matters worse, even destroyed the spell would keep going for hours.**_
: The Reaver's Territory (Ask Kha'Zix)
> Dear Bug who will soon die, > > FEEL THE POWER OF MUSIC!!! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name only this time when opened it would explode with a maximum volume of a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfU1JqmkHM)**_
: The Castle in the Marsh (Ask Karthus)
> Dear Lonely Guy with a Book, > > I see you have knowledge, but put that to good use...LIKE GET A GIRLFRIEND GHOSTY MAN! I should add that you scream like a messed up chick too. Work on that. > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Our Performance Begins...((Ask Jhin))
> Dear Mr.Artist, > > I LOVE the mask! Where'd you get it?! An art room from children?! Your art sucks and art has three letters! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Life of a Prehistoric Yordle (Ask Gnar)
> Dear Midget with horrid language, > > I'll say something in your language...AGDGAGAHAGAGAGGGSDGSHSGQGSHSDNBJDHSJSKJSDKLKSURJSGDGSDGGASGHBNDHSAGSHSHSHSHDFH!!!!! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Headquarters of the Dauntless Vanguard (Ask Garen)
> Dear Guy with a Sword and a rainbow sister, > > Maybe steroids aren't right...But maybe I should try something else. Say, your sister's always walking alone at night sometimes! Wouldn't want anything "bad" to happen now don't we? Say...Like a can full of skunk stench pour over her? Or even worse...Black hair dye! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Ask Galio
> Dear Big Dumb and Stupid, > > Ohhhh look at me! I'm BIG and can punch! Get real and start doing hobbies! Maybe then you'll do something good for a change! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
: Let Evelynn take over⁓ (ask the widowmaker)
> Dear Sneaky Lady who almost got me last time, > > Whew! Almost had me before, but...You got a little clone of me! Turns out you have beauty but noooo brain! > > Yours ever truly, > J _**There would be a small smiley mask drawing under the name**_
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SurelyNotHyper

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