For Lit class, I had to read a story- actually, more like an essay- called _A Modest Proposal_. So far, so good, yes? Sounds innocent enough, no?
NO. It's basically a multi-page essay (and I mean **_multiple_** pages) on why the people of Ireland should eat their own children. What. The. Fuck.
It literally starts off with him saying that travelers to Ireland felt sympathetic towards all the starving women and their children on the streetside who were begging for handouts. Good, sympathy is good. Then the psycho drops the bomb and says that children would be good eating.
Of course, it's not someone _actually_ proposing this, the author was just pretending to be a farmer of the time (short background: Ireland was suffering from poor harvests) who was proposing a shocking solution to their starvation/poverty problem, but holy fuck. Holy fucking duck fuck. You can't be a normal human being and write pages upon pages about snacking on children like it's in any way, a good solution.
I mean, I can hardly write 2-pages on a topic that I _like_, how the heck did this guy manage +20 pages? He's either a genius writer or a crazy psycho- maybe both.
The stupid part? The essay's so godamn logical, you just find yourself nodding and going, "Uh-huh. Yeah, good one." or "That's actually pretty reasonable." Then you remember he's talking about hot dogs, but no dogs, just children and then you're just like: what the fuck have I done.
Great. Besides creeping me the fuck out, you've given some crazy-bastard-come-dictator a _lovely_ idea.
As for why I wrote this? Thought you guys would be tired of seeing all the bitching done about who scratched their toe or which skin looks like what on Boards. Here's a platter of garbage for a change.